Friday, July 29, 2005

Friendly or too friendly?

I have been working for about 1 month plus now in a new company. Gotten friendly with some fellas while a few wankers remained aloof even when I make the effort to be friends. However, last week I was flabbergasted when I checked my company's email inbox. Screaming out from the list was an email addressed to me by a new colleague I had barely spoken 10 words to. Just had a brief exchange of hellos, names and departments with him the week before. We're from different departments and located on different floors. The contents of the email goes like this (with names omitted to protect the innocent) :

This is the same nerdy guy who sheepishly slipped me his personal contact number a few days before or after the email. I don't remember which one now. Yo dude! What do you mean my head looked luminous?! Like I have a halo over it? What the hell is up with the Feng Shui thingy? And what's with the truth? What truth? Obviously I emailed back and demanded for a satisfactory explanation but he just lied saying he had forgotten why he wrote that in the first place. Yea right! Like how you forget to wash your hands for dinner after you've sticked it in your ass all day?

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against being friendly. But being weird? That's another ball game altogether now. Get a life!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

I'm NOT interested!!!

Don’t you just hate people who are insincere? We all would have been unfortunate enough at one point or another of our lives to have met people like that. These are the long-lost friends who do not invite you for their weddings but call you up for drinks or dinners out of the blue one day because they had just forayed into the insurance or direct-selling business and are out looking for preys.

I have totally zero respect for people like these scumbags of the universe. Not only are these disillusioned fools insincere in wanting to rekindle those freezing, ice-cold, finger-numbing friendships they have with us but they have a face with the thickness unequalled even by the LENGTH of the Great Wall of China. I can smell their insincerities a mile away and it stinks!

Now even though I fully understand that they are also just trying to eke out a living, I’m unlike some nicer folks who will willingly part with their money and time with enough sweet-talking and fake smiles invested by the Agents of Filth. Don’t ever expect me to be all nice to them and get myself yet another insurance or the miracle wok which can help me become a better cook or every Stepford wife’s secret wish of a super cleaning dish washing detergent or anything else from them as a matter of fact.

Last but not least, if I hadn’t bothered with how well you have been living your life for the past century, whatever possessed you to make you think that I will be interested to contribute even an ounce of energy towards making your current career any better? Please don’t give me all that bullshit about how your product is going to help me improve my life either. It would improve automatically if you would just get the hell out of it. Thank you very much.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Top 10 Signs Your Company Sucks

Top 10 signs you should be resigning from your current company:

10) Company only gives you a tight-ass 8 days of annual leave when the nationwide acceptable standard is at 14 days.

9) Official company emails or newsletters might come in Mandarin when the official language is English and the person-in-charge will tell you he’s "too busy" to translate or that his English is not good enough when you point out that there are other poor souls who do not understand Mandarin working in the same company.

8) You have to sit through a whole day training conducted in Mandarin when the facilitator clearly knows that several others in the training also do not comprehend.

7) You have to work every Saturday, not even alternate Saturday, when even government officers only work a 5-days work week now.

6) Manager sends email to call for a department meeting in half an hour’s time when he’s seated barely a few feet away from his staff.

5) Manager does not talk to you or any other of his female staff unless forced to.

4) Manager gives unintelligible answers when his staff asks him questions. Even vendors are dumbfounded by the lack of grammar or perhaps vocal chords.

3) Manager is such a cheapskate bastard that he pretends he’s invisible when it comes to paying time or that his wallet is filled with humongous rocks even when everyone have made it clear that everybody’s going Dutch on the meal.

2) Manager asks you to sign a contract which the management knows nothing about to bind you to the company for a whole year and you get to have your salaries DEDUCTED if you cannot complete a major company project in the time stipulated in the contract AND work LONGER hours EVERY FREAKING DAY except for Sundays (Remember that you already work till 1pm every Saturday).

1) Manager looks vague all the time but is actually a scheming-plotting-lying coward that cowers and pisses in his pants if he so much as having to face off with another more vocally-inclined manager from other departments, even if that manager is a teeny-weeny bit of a girl who’s no more than 4 feet tall.