Bad Ass Chick

Tobasco Anyone?

2011-04-18T17:31:00.008+08:00

If you are like me, there must have been times when you are freaking hungry but was stuck in a massive jam after work when you wished you can have food delivered right up to your car window instead of inching your way back home or to a nearby restaurant. Well, I do the next best thing and I usually order pizza when I am about 15 minutes away from home so that I can have hot pizza waiting for me the moment I reach home. No hassle of having to find a parking space and I can change into casual T-shirt and shorts to enjoy my dinner in front of the TV like any other dysfunctional families do. So, I took it upon myself to write a review of the 3 pizza delivery services I had used lately.

No. 1: Domino's Pizza

This is the pizza delivery service that is in my speed dial list. Service is good and prompt. I often get free stuff like a Banana Kaya Pie/Bread Stix or RM3 regular pizza SMS offer for being a regular customer. It's not much but it does keep me happy to know that I am appreciated as a regular customer. So far, pizzas usually arrive within 15-30 minutes. If they are so much as late by 1 minute then I get a free regular pizza voucher to be used in my next order. I like their Crunchy Thin Crust pizza as it does not make me overly stuff unlike some other types of crust. No hassle service gets my vote.

No. 2: Yellow Cab Pizza Co

Well, this chain only has like a few outlets in Malaysia and mostly in the Klang Valley only. I heard rave reviews from friends about how good their pizza and pasta are so I ordered from them during a recent training session I had with my users. I placed the order at around 12.30pm and they told me that it takes about 45-1 hour for them to deliver as they were short on staff and it was raining. I said OK as some of my users had stepped out for prayers and will not be back so soon.

By 1.45pm when there was still no delivery I was losing my patience so I called them and they said that on that particular Friday, their riders did not come to work so they had the kitchen staff doing the delivery and that they were already on their way. My office is barely 10 minutes away from their shop. By 2.15pm I got a call and went downstairs to the lobby to bring the delivery guy up to my training room. Unfortunately, he apologetically told me that the pizzas were meant for another customer as he was given the wrong package to deliver. He told me that another kitchen staff was on his way with the correct pizzas for me which did not arrive till 2.30pm.

By this time I was already pissed off and called to complain. All their 'Sorry ma'am' did not help the situation at all. I was hungry, my users were hungry. Not good. By the time we finally get to sink out teeth into the pizza it was already 2.40pm. The service sucks big time and the only saving grace was that the pizza and pasta were actually good. I highly recommend the Charlie Chan Chicken Pasta. I'd say if you want to order from them then make sure your stomach is not already growling from hunger and if your patience and tolerance level is high. Well, that person is usually not me and I've thrown away the free voucher they gave me for delivering my pizzas after 2 and 1/4 hours.

No. 3: Pizza Hut

Now, this pizza delivery service needs no introduction here in Malaysia. Many of us probably grew up listening to the annoyingly catchy 755-25-25 song on the TV while we're growing up. Surprisingly, I never ordered from their pizza delivery service before till even the infamous number had changed now. One fine afternoon, my Mom suggested to try Pizza Hut as we usually orders from Domino's so I did. They took more than 30 minutes to arrive and gave me an envelope which the delivery guy told me was a free regular pizza voucher. I just accepted it without looking.

Few weeks later, I decided to use the voucher but the person on the phone told me that the delivery guy had given me the wrong voucher as my voucher is only valid for take-aways. By right, he should have given me a voucher that can be used when I order delivery service again. So, after checking with her supervisor she called me back to say I can still use the voucher for delivery as it was their fault to have given me the wrong voucher in the first place.

I ordered 2 regular pizzas, 1 being a free pizza when I use the voucher. Surprisingly this time, the delivery guy appeared in front of my gates in about 15 minutes. However, there was only 1 pizza. Some frantic calls by the guy and off he went to get the other pizza claiming that they had packed the delivery for him wrongly. About half an hour later, he reappeared with the missing pizza but I was suspicious and opened the pizza box in front of him to make sure my pizza was there.

What do you know? There was a pizza but the flavour was the same as the one we had already devoured. More frantic calls ensued and him blaming some other people back at the shop and he said he will be back again with the correct pizza. I called the hotline to complain and I basically told them I would NEVER order from their delivery service again. A lot of lame ass apology and excuses were thrown forward to no avail. I was furious! The 2nd pizza with the correct flavour only arrived like an hour AFTER we had already finished eating the first pizza.

Not only that, we get extremely poor service when we visit their outlet last time, especially the one at KLCC. Then there was the time I was working late one night when our manager told us that she had ordered pizza for us about half an hour ago through their online website but the delivery guy had not appeared. A quick check revealed that the order she placed was not captured. My manager said usually when she orders online it is OK but on that night we were just too tired and hungry to wait. So, after considering all aspects of their service, my verdict are as below.

I have yet to try Papa John's and Canadian Pizza's delivery service. Hopefully they fare better than Pizza Hut.

Goodbye Baby

2011-01-08T04:11:00.012+08:00

It's the wee hours of the morning and I can't sleep. It has been like that for the past one month and more. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. You see, I gave birth to a stillborn about a month ago. Doctor discovered my baby's heart stopped beating during a regular checkup just about a week before she was due. People always say there is a calm before the storm and how true it is. I was so very happy being pregnant. I was so pleased at the thought of becoming a mom for the first time that I was always smiling and laughing. My family was finally going to be complete with the addition of a little bundle of joy plus I knew just how much my parents wanted grandchildren to play with.

I didn't have much complications with my pregnancy to begin with and everything was progressing so great. Hubby and I went for a vacation in Macau and Hong Kong in the 3rd month. I started a new job in the 4th month and by the 6th month, Hubby and Dad had painted the furniture and we had the nursery set up. I was very energetic and active all the way till the end. We were even entertaining friends from overseas in our house just the week before it happened. I had an overnight bag packed by the door ready to be snatched up the moment contraction starts. How could things go so wrong?

I remember every little detail of the unfortunate day even though I'd rather not. I remember waking up and having breakfast while chatting happily with my parents who just got back from attending my cousin's wedding in our hometown and remarking what great timing the birth will be as my Godmother from Australia will get to meet the baby while she's back in Malaysia. I remember the drive to the hospital. I remember the doctor asking me how's things to which I reply 'Everything's normal'. I had a funny feeling as I uttered the word 'Normal' that morning for no reason at all.

Little did I know then that nothing was ever going to be normal again. I knew something was wrong when the doctor took just a few minutes longer with the scan. When he told me he couldn't find the baby's heartbeat I didn't believe him. How could it be? Perhaps the machine wasn't working as I felt my baby move just the night before. I was eerily calm in the few minutes after that. We explored the possibilities of errors, of what to do next, etc and when I was finally convinced that nothing can be done to save my baby I walked out with hubby and sat dazed outside the doctor's office.

I remember the dread I felt at the thought of having to impart such bad news to my parents. I remember calling my boss and apologizing for having to start my maternity leave earlier than expected and feeling sorry for my colleagues as I had not pass over my work completely. I sent hubby home to get my overnight bag and then I just lay in the delivery room waiting for the inevitable as doctor started inducing labor. I informed my closest friends that I was in the hospital saying something was wrong with the baby and not that we had already lost the baby. Somehow putting something into words makes it all seem so final so I clung to the slightest flicker of hope that my baby could still be saved. At one point when I was alone, I thought I felt a movement in my tummy but it was just my mind playing tricks on me. It could be my stomach growling due to hunger for all I know but I prayed for a miracle anyway.

When my baby was born, the delivery room was filled with a sweet scent that smelled oh-so-good but I couldn't bare to look at her as she was already turning blue. When they put her on top of me it was all I could do not to flinch as she was so cold. It was the single most heart wrenching moment in my life. I've never felt so much pain and grief. I wanted so much to hold my baby and love her but instead I just lie there literally shivering from head to toe while listening to the doctors and nurses as they explained to my hubby that there were 2 true knots on the umbilical cord which was longer than usual.

I heard nurses exclaimed at how chubby my baby girl was when she tipped the scale at 3.55 kg and still I couldn't bare to look. Then, just moments before the nurse wrapped her up I told hubby I wanted to take one last good look at our baby girl. Looking back, I'm not sure this is wise as every time I close my eyes now I see my baby but I couldn't resist it. So the nurse held her in front of me as I take in all her features. She was adorable. I gently touched her soft cheek and whispered to her that mommy loves her, always and then she was gone, forever. Just like that and I vomited and vomited till I had nothing left in me. I touched my deflated tummy and I felt empty.

Family and friends came and went. When the nurses turned off the lights for the night, hubby and I were alone at last but I couldn't sleep even as hubby hugged and soothed me in bed. All the What-Ifs questions started growing in my mind like cancer even though everyone assured me it was purely an accident and nothing I could do could have prevented it. Up till then tears had flowed but sometime in the middle of that awful night I just couldn't restraint myself any longer and I wailed with the anguish all parents must feel if they ever lose a child. Nurses gave me a sleeping pill and I cried myself to sleep.

People tell me that I shouldn't cry so much as I'll ruin my eyesight, that I'm still young and I can get pregnant again easily, etc and I tried. I tried not crying but every little thing reminds me of my baby. For weeks I couldn't even walk past the nursery or talk on the phone without tearing up. I was never one to cry much before but now I'm just one big sad story that cries a few times a day at the slightest provocation. I've not been out of the house since it happened and I couldn't bring myself to join friends in social events. I have trouble falling asleep and when I finally do, either I do not want to wake up or I wake up screaming from nightmares. I tell people I'm fine, that I'm better as each day passes by but there's also nights like this when I felt that I've made no progress at all. It seems that for every 2 steps I take forward I'd take one step back every time I cry.

When would the tears finally dry up and when would the horror movie that has been playing endlessly in my head every time I close my eyes finally finish its run? It's almost dawn now. May Father Time be kind and help lessen the pain. Each new day brings with it new hope and it is to this hope that I cling to and I pray and I pray.

!$%@$#%$@!

2010-07-22T10:10:00.002+08:00

It's bright daylight and you can literally cook an egg on the street outside if you so desire but I'm sitting here with the hairs on my arms standing on ends and shivering. Reason being the perpetual middle-aged uber-bitch is speaking very loudly into the phone with her fake 'ang moh' slang. For someone who's usually so 'pasar', this is really unbearable.

Luckily for Green Day to head bang to even though the sounds of my favourite band isn't enough to drown out the hysterical laugher emanating from the same two-faced whore. How a person of such lowlife personality and integrity is still allowed to pollute the Earth with all her bullshit is totally beyond my comprehension.

She's lucky to have live in the 21st century else I swear to God that I would have given her a 'beautiful death' Spartan-style a long time ago. I would then make sure her decapitated head is hung like a reindeer head in my hall for decoration and her skin stretched out near the fireplace for all to wipe their feet on. No wait, I really can't stand that face. I guess I'll just feed her to the pigs.

Anyway, violent wet dreams of mine aside, she recently brought in a young toy boy of hers to join us. Ugly, pouting, good-for-nothing ass wipe. Makes me puke the way he 'polish' her. Fuckface has no shame. She in turn 'polishes' the other big kahunas. Ugh! Everyone I know wants to open a really big can of whoop-ass on him and the 'girlfriend'. My violent level is really hitting an all-time high whenever they are in the vicinity.

God, help me please before I turn psycho. Amen!

A Management Story

2010-07-22T10:10:00.001+08:00

I'm angry, really freaking pissed off here. Why? Let me tell you why! I'm just about to inherit ALL the work from yet another colleague who's leaving the company by middle of this month. This is the 3rd colleague whose work had been passed to me prior to them leaving the company! So in addition to my own work, I will be doing the work of 4 persons soon with the puny salary of 1!!!

One of them is even a holding a manager level position while I'm just a lowly-paid minion but I get to inherit his work as well. Great! I can't even take half a day off without my office mailbox exploding. What the hell is wrong with you people! I'd tell you what's wrong. It's the stupid management I'm working for. Actually it's just one person, someone who shall here forth be known only as Fugly.

I've introduced Fugly without a name previously in the posting "Lord, help me please!" and more recently in "http://schweeney.blogspot.com/2007/03/blog-post.html". In case you are wondering, Fugly stands for Fucking Ugly. Now for the rest of you who also happens to have the misfortune of reporting to a person who is as full of shit as Fugly, I can only offer you this humourous piece of insight I received off the net. Read on and have a laugh. Stress kills, I know. How sad.

Story # 1

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"

Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"

Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more"

Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"

Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"

Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV“

Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene : Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson

In the context of the working world

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Story # 2

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!"

Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."

Bear: "Well that's absurd ! "

Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral : IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.

Management Lesson
In the context of the working world:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT.

Introducing Fugly's Namesake

2010-07-22T10:10:00.000+08:00

When was the last time you saw something that looked like someone you absolutely despise? Maybe from the toad at Feng Shui World that bears an uncanny resemblance to a nosy neighbor or how your boss looks more and more like a camel everytime you roll your eyes at yet another unoriginal shit to spew forth from the smelly little hole he calls a mouth. Well, as some of my colleagues were asked to change cubicles sometime last month, we found this freaking ugly ball of rubber. It looked kinda slimy and was dirty from all the dust clinging on its rubbery body. Then someone had the bright idea to throw it on the wall and lo and behold, it actually had the ability to stick to the walls! This gross lil piggy ball actually found its niche. It's a good stress reliever of sorts. Till today we dunno who owns the blardy thing but we have been having fun abusing it. We have even christened it Fugly.

What do you have in your office?

Happy Birthday, Stranger

2010-07-22T10:09:00.001+08:00

I have been to many birthday parties in my life but never have I been to one so ridiculous I thought my eyes were gonna fall off from their sockets from rolling them too much.

You see, yesterday afternoon, the maggot of a person whom I have always referred to as Fugly in my blog storms into our department and started hauling all the staff into the meeting room. Everyone was looking puzzled. Some thought there’s gonna be a meeting or a briefing. Yours truly was just on the way to the pantry to get a glass of water but was shepherded into the meeting room as well.

Imagine our surprise to find a cake on the long table and a stranger in our midst. Oh, we figured she was a staff as well but from another floor, another department. 90% of us didn’t have a clue who she is or what’s her name. Moments later, Fugly led the way as she made everyone sing the Birthday song. Mind you, we still dunno who the cake is for at that moment.

“Happy Birthday to you”
“Happy Birthday to you”
“Happy Birthday to .......“

At this point in time, the voices kinda faltered as we raised our eyebrows at each other. What a joke! Singing birthday song to someone we dun even know. I hope our clapping drowned out the blank in our singings. I heard some people blurted out the name but was too fast for me to catch it.

“Happy Birthday to you!!!”, we sang as we ended the song. Then as the haze of confusion was lifted from the room, What’s-Her-Name in out midst went forward and blow out the candle. She was smiling and thanking us. Then as usual, annoying Fugly was laughing her fake irritating laugh as she made one of us cut the cake for the birthday girl or middle-aged aunty if you want to get down to specifics. I still couldn’t get over the absurdity of the situation as I grudgingly ate the piece of cake that was handed to me. The birthday aunty didn’t appear to migle with any of us except Fugly, who is another middle-aged aunty herself (only a lot uglier) so I assumed Fugly must have set this all up by herself. No, they are not relations.

Now, I don’t understand why anyone would ever want to celebrate their birthday with a bunch of strangers. Even if I did, I don’t think my face is that thick to even go near the cake. Everyone was complaining once the party was over. We had to give credit to Fugly, she had surpassed herself again in terms of how much more she can do to make us hate her.

Luckily she didn’t make us chip in for the cake else she would have really overdone it.

Colleague from Hell

2010-07-22T10:09:00.000+08:00

Example 1

Scene : Inside the car on the way to the doctor as I was having gastric pain halfway through work
Present : Me and hubby

Handphone rings and a familiar, groan-inducing, eye-rolling number flashed on the screen.

Me : (grimacing with pain and sounding weak) Hello.

Wanker : We need to talk about ABC. I need a timeline.

Me : As you already know (through numerous emails), the project had been handed to XYZ, please liaise with him.

Wanker : I really need to know when the project can be completed.

Me : Look I really can't give you the timeline for someone else's project. Besides I am on MC today. Can you please call XYZ?

Wanker : Can you just give me a date.

Me : You really have to speak to the person in charge for this.

Wanker : How about a tentative date?

Repeat above conversation x 10 times over the next 10 minutes with a good deal of eye-rolling.

Wanker just can’t seem to understand English.

Example 2

Scene : Meeting Room
Present : All members from my section

Suddenly, there was a knocking on the door and who else do you see but the most annoying, thick-faced, cant-take-no-for-an-answer colleague from hell from another division is standing outside the door and gesturing she wants a word with the Head of Department (HOD).

She opens the meeting room door uninvited and pops her head in. Wanker then proceeded to shine forth her best smile as she knows HOD likes her. Important note : HOD is also a woman but that's another story.

Wanker : Hi HOD, can I have a word with you?

HOD : (Trying to look fierce and irritated) Yes, but we're having a meeting right now.

Wanker : (not defeated so easily) Then can I meet you after the meeting?

HOD : I have another meeting after this.

Wanker : Then can I meet you after your next meeting is over?

HOD : I dunno what time my meeting is going end.

Wanker : Nevermind, I wait for you. Please call me when the meeting is over?

HOD : (is actually annoyed at this point) If I remember...

Wanker : Nevermind, I will call you then.

Wanker hesitated a moment but leaves the room anyway. Everyone was still quiet as we watch her go and HOD commented at how rude she was to interrupt our meeting.

Now the person from both examples is the same person actually. There were more but I just give the more recent examples. I cringe at the sight of her. I actually feel my blood pressure rising the moment I hear her voice. She is someone who calls you and asks “Have you read my email?” when she had just sent them out a nanosecond ago and gives you 20 missed calls if you don’t pick up her calls because either you are in a meeting or at home sick or God forbid dead. She would actually tailed you around if she gets the brushed off.

I don’t get it. Why does someone behaves this way? Doesn’t she know common courtesy? I get it that she wants to get things done but going around pissing everyone off is surely not the way to work in the long run. Jeopardizing her relationships with her colleagues will only slow her down as no one wants to support a nightmare case like her. I say all the nagging mothers, whiny children, pesky salespersons and insurance agents combine still lose out to her. Bravo, psycho!

The File Forwarding Saga

2009-11-19T12:45:00.000+08:00

Now the below really happened sometime ago... read on readers.

June 29

Help Uber-biatch do data matching using 'vlookup' in Excel file. I added a new column to indicate 'Found' and 'Not Found' in the Excel.

Jul 7

Uber-biatch requested to do another round of matching on the same file which contains about 7K plus records.

Aug 14

Uber-biatch called to request to split the file into 2 list - 'Found' and 'Not Found' claiming she doesn't know how to do sorting nor auto filter hence she cannot calculate how many records are under 'Found' and how many are under 'Not Found'. At this juncture, I must point out that her position carries the word 'Manager' while mine only carries 'Senior Executive'.

Sep 1

Uber-biatch request to do another round of matching on the earlier unmatched list which is about 3K records in size now.

Sep 2 10:30 AM

Had meeting with Uber-biatch and vendor. Uber-biatch agreed to forward the file to vendor for further checking.

Sep 2 12:17 PM

Email from Uber-biatch that reads "Hi, can please forward the file to vendor today. The file is very big, thanks." followed by an SMS that reads about the same. I ignored. Forwarding file on behalf of someone that I am not even reporting to that doesn't even work in the same department nor the same division is not part of my job scope.

Sep 2 3:29 PM

Uber-biatch's email to vendor with me in the loop that reads "Hi, sorry the file is too big. I will get Schweeney to send to you ASAP". Again, i ignored.

Sep 2 6:38 PM

My reply to Uber-biatch's email "The file has already been sent to you by XYZ on 1 Sep 09. Could you please use that and forward it to vendor instead? Thank you!"

Sep 2 7:00 PM

Uber-biatch SMSed to tell me she accidentally deleted the file while cleaning her mailbox so can I help to forward it to vendor. Same shit, different medium.

Sep 2 7:34 PM

My email to Uber-biatch "Resending since you lost it."

Sep 2 8:35 PM

Uber-biatch SMSed again saying "Hi. Can you pls fwd d file directly to vendor. Its 5MB and I can't send it out. My mailbox is already max out. Tks."

Sep 2 9:07 PM

Me replying Uber-biatch saying "Sorry mine as well after sending to u". Hah, how you like your own medicine now.

Sep 3 10:30 AM

Uber-biatch called my staff to get her to forward the file to vendor giving the same bullshit about the file being too big and her mailbox being too full. Yada-yada.

Sep 3 11:09 AM

Uber-biatch finally sent the file to the vendor on her own.

Sep 3 12:28 PM

Uber-biatch emailed my staff again while leaving me out of the loop saying "Can please send the file to vendor. I have sent it to him and deleted it after that, rgds."

Now, what we don't understand is, if the file is SO DARN BIG as she claimed, then we would have the same problem sending it out. And if she can send the file to us, I don't see why she can't send it out to vendor. Also, if she had been cleaning her mailbox as she claimed she did, then her mailbox wouldn't be full anymore. I smell something fishy going on here. What is it about the file that she can't send on her own to vendor? I'm not even supposed to be liasing with the vendor so we ignored her request again. I wonder how long this saga is going to last. Uber-biatch has been relentless in this.

Bug Scare in Putra LRT

2009-09-03T15:20:00.019+08:00

Date : 25 August 2009

Time : 9.20am

Venue : Putra LRT

I was wearing a short skirt and blouse for work last Thursday morning when I sat down on the last empty seat in the train. Both my thighs started to itch very badly in no less than 10 seconds after they came into contact with the seat! I started to scratch as the itch was getting unbearable and to my horror, I found that there were many tiny bumps on them not unlike mosquitoe bites. I jumped off the seat but cannot see anything on it that could have bit me although there were black stuff on the nooks and corners of the seat.

First day

Anyway I rushed all the way back to office and showed one of my colleague. Apparently, she experienced the exact same thing just a few weeks back. I washed then applied sanitizer and then medicated oil to both my thighs and the itch slowly subsided but the tiny bumps had swelled and joined together to form one huge bump on my right thigh. The left thigh was not bitten so badly so I had one small bump there. They itch less as the days goes by and the bumps also became smaller. I counted and there were 13 bites on my right thigh alone.

Second day

Till today I don't know what happenned but after relating the incidents to friends, I'm surprised to find out that many girls in skirts had experienced the exact same thing at one time or another. This is how 'clean' our LRT is. An article came out in The Sun newspaper right after my unfortunate encounter and the girl related the same experience as well. Read it here or see the pictures here from her blog.

One of my friends helped me write to Rapid KL and below is the communication. For all I know, the reply we got is the standard reply to all complaints relating to cleaniness.

Anyhow, I'm not convinced of their commitment to keep the LRT clean so I vowed never to sit in the LRT ever again. Ladies, you've been warned.

Proposal from a Stranger in Facebook

2009-02-18T15:34:00.006+08:00

I first heard of Facebook sometime in early 2007 from an acquaintance while holidaying in Hong Kong. Only a handful of my friends were in Facebook when I created my account. By now, I am sure every other computer savvy person in this world has a Facebook account already. Probably half of them addicted to it I dare say. Half of whom should also get their finger chopped off for poking or sending invites indiscriminately. But how many people actually propose to strangers through the web? Now hold that thought and imagine my surprise when I got the below in my Facebook’s inbox.

My first thought is “Is this a hoax or a scam?” or a person so desperate to have someone to call his own for Valentine’s Day. As a value my privacy, my full profile is only limited to friends so I am not sure where this guy claimed to have seen my pictures from other than the small thumbnail of my profile picture. Also, if he’s seen my pictures, he would have realized that I am a happily married woman. Curious as I am, I dared not reply as replying would open up my full profile to his view.

Supposing for a second this is a genuine proposal, I still cannot fathom the sensibility of someone proposing to a complete and utter stranger through the internet. Sorry but I don’t subscribe to the whole love at first sight idea. Moreover, falling for a picture measuring no more than 2cm x 2cm? Sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction.

Feeling Jaded

2009-01-15T16:36:00.001+08:00

With the New year and only a few more days before Chinese New Year, I am feeling really glad for a lot of things in my life now.

I’m glad my beloved grandmother is now staying with me so that I can take care of her.

I’m glad for my loving family and good friends.

I’m glad I’m finally recovering from the slipped disc I somehow got myself.

I’m glad I’ve been to the one place I’ve dreamt of going since I was child.

I’m glad that I got that long-awaited promotion.

I’m glad that I now have my own cozy home to go back to everyday.

And the list goes on…

So, why is it that I sometimes feel so jaded, even out-of-place? Ever since I went to Egypt and back, I have lost most interest in catching up on daily news. I cannot bear to watch the news or turn the pages to read about yet another death or suffering or petty issues. I used to find the current political changes in Malaysia riveting but now it’s just getting really old. Sickening even. I’d rather spend my time reading movie reviews. (The Star has some really funny reviewers by the way and they crack me up every time. Kudos to them.)

Anyhow, it is not just limited to the news. I find that I sometimes drift away when in conversation with certain people. There so many things I don’t give two hoots about or are just plain old boring to me. I find so many topics to be irrelevant somehow so much so it is getting really sickening if I had to endure yet another conversation about it. I just tune myself out to avoid from rolling my eyes or sniggering. Mostly I just stifle the yawns.

I was updating my address book the other day and I realized that I had accumulated a lot of contacts over the years. About 5% of whom I do not even remember anymore so I just delete them off. I think it’s the same with life. Over time, some things will stop being a great deal or like a pearl, they lost their luster. I find myself getting bored with things that used to be fun and I do not know why. Have I changed or has they stopped being fun? I have no idea.

Encounter with the Idiotic Kind at the Food Court

2009-01-12T17:28:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was a lovely Sunday morning and since my grandmother is in town, me and hubby took her out for breakfast with us. She had taken a liking to the char koay teow (fried koay teow) in the food court of my local marketplace so off we went. It was still early so there were plenty of seats available. We found a nice table and Grandma started pulling out a chair as she reminded me to order her plate of char koay teow minus the prawns.

As we were having this conversation, a man came and started laying his hands to pull out a chair opposite of the one Grandma was pulling out. I looked straight at him and he looked away. Thinking that he would understand, as civilized people normally do, that we were at the table first and were about to sit down, I turn to leave my Grandma to place the order. Imagine my surprise then when I saw him waving his entire family over, about 10 of them and one by one they started sitting down their fat asses! At least, some people have the courtesy to ask if they were not sure.

At this point, my hubby just got into the food court after parking our car and he asked me why Grandma and I were standing around without a seat when they are so many empty tables around. I replied in a loud voice while glaring at the idiot, ‘Oh, actually we were supposed to sit here but SOMEONE took our seat!’. Either the imbecile didn’t hear me or he pretended not to hear me but boy, was I pissed.

I stomped my family off to the next table across the aisle and took the photo below as a reminder that there are still many Malaysians out there who deserves to have my foot up their ass!

Never Say Die

2009-01-12T14:31:00.002+08:00

Last weekend, a certain middle-aged male stranger at a certain mall event caught my attention. Not because of his good looks or anything of the sort. I have never come across any Pierce Brosnan look-alike middle-aged man yet for that matter. Mere mortals like you and me hardly age as well as Tinseltown folks. Anyhow, this mall was organizing some Crime Prevention Campaign and was offering free packet drinks to passer-bys who could answer the questions they were throwing to the floor.

I was watching the event from one floor up and at first, I was surprised when the MC refused to accept answers to his questions from this ‘Uncle’. Then only I realized that this uncle had already answered a few questions before and was carrying a plastic bag of free packet drinks he got earlier. The greedy fella wanted more!

I hang around for a bit and was amused when uncle raised his hands to answer EVERY single question. Goodness, give other people some chance. The MC was annoyed and he kept uncle waiting at the sidelines with repeated retorts such as the below:

“Mei tou leh ar, uncle” (Not your turn yet, uncle)

“Lei mm hor yee seng yat kei hai tou geh” (You can’t just stand here all the time)

I mean, this uncle had no shame. I was cringing in embarrassment on his behalf even though I was watching from one floor away. I would have been red like a tomato in the face if I was him. He would raise his hands to answer a question and sheepishly cup his face at the side when the MC rejected him but in another 30 seconds or so his hand would be up in the air again waving in the MC’s face.

This went on for a good 10 minutes or so. I didn’t know how long he actually tried his luck in securing more free packet drinks as my movie was about to start and I reluctantly went away to the cinema to watch Ip Man. A terrific movie by the way and when this comes from one who hardly watches any Cantonese movie, it means the movie is real good.

Anyhow, back to the uncle, embarrassing and cringe-worthy as he was, I actually salute him for his persistence!

Egypt Tour : Day 1-2

2008-11-13T10:15:00.006+08:00

For as long as I can remember, I had always been fascinated with the ancient Egyptians and everything else to do with it. Even as a kid, I made a childish vow to myself to visit Egypt one day and see the wonders for myself. To me, it is like THE place to visit I die or something similarly corny. I finally got my wish granted 2 weeks ago.

It wasn’t even a planned vacation. When I heard that my friend was looking for travel partners, I just jumped right in and signed myself up a few days before the closing date of the tour. Always one to travel on my own, I have never joined a tour group before but looking back, I have never made a better decision in my life. No regrets at all as Egypt is as beautiful as I’ve always imagine it to be and so much more.

We flew Gulf Air and had a one night stopover in Bahrain. I went around town with my friend and a couple of new-found friends. We went window shopping in one of its spanking new malls. What strucked me about Bahrain is that the city lacked imagination. Everything looked sterile to me somehow. However, to be fair, I didn’t had enough time to explore the city and the anticipation of going to Egypt the next day kinda clouded my judgement.

My first sight of the Pyramids! Wee!!!

Arriving in Egypt the next day, we were all in high spirits. To me, it’s as if I’m a child who had been let loose in a candy store. We were met at the airport by our Egyptian guide, Walaa. I was secretly thankful that he speaks excellent English and that he isn’t bad looking either. Sure helps with the concentration for yours truly who is a little short on attention span. Our first destination is to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. I was a bit disappointed and worried that we would not get to try out Egyptian food but that proved to be baseless. In tune with the infamous mad schedules of a guided tour, we were whisked off to the Citadel of Saladin straight after lunch.

The Citadel of Saladin

Being a Friday, the traffic was smooth as Egyptians had the day off but the entrance to the mosque was jammed pack with local and overseas tourists all eager to enter after the Friday afternoon prayers were over. While waiting in line, I realize that a whole line of Egyptian schoolchildren, presumably on a school trip, were staring at us and giggling away. It’s as if they had never seen Chinese people before! I smiled at them and a bunch of them waved back. So adorable and friendly! One parent or teacher came over and asked if we mind taking photographs with some of the kids and we obliged.

Throngs of tourists crowing the Citadel's entrance

By the end of the day, me and my friends had been approached by numerous groups of tweens all asking to be photographed together with us! Man, I felt like a superstar! Everywhere I turned, there’s a group of tweens either smiling at me or waving at me or waiting to take pictures together. If I’d known, I would have prepared some autographs! LOL! *kidding*

The Alabaster Mosque

The Citadel is one of the most popular tourist attractions in Cairo today. Legend has it that Saladin chose this site because of its fresh air. Apparently, meat would spoil within the day anywhere else in Cairo except for this site. Walaa said this is BS as the site is simply a great location to build a fortress due to its higher grounds. Within the Citadel is the Grand Mosque or also known as the Alabaster Mosque as this material is used to cover its interior and exterior walls. This mosque also housed the tomb of Mohammad Ali, who is considered to be the father of modern Egypt.

Tomb of Mohammad Ali

It rained a teeny bit while we were leaving the Citadel and a beautiful rainbow can be seen. What a beautiful sight to greet us for the first day of my Egypt tour. We were then driven away on our bus to the town of Alexandria which is 3 hours drive away from Cairo. Arriving after a 3-hour bus ride, we sat down to a sumptuous seafood dinner. Each person was served 2 whole fried fish for the main course. Boy, I was full looking at the fishes alone. Fried fish really ain’t my thing.

A rare sight of the rainbow after a few precious drops of rain

Stiff from the flight earlier that day and also the long bus journey, we were more than glad to reach our hotel, the Hilton Green Plaza. However, seeing the places, me and my friend felt rejuvenated again and went around exploring around the hotel as it has many shops and restaurants surrounding it and even a cinema nearby. People are always looking at us and throughout my bus ride, people are just merrily waving away. I must say I didn’t expect such warmth and friendliness. Everywhere I look, men and women of young and old age are greeting me with a smile or a wave. I’ve never felt so welcome anywhere else. Mama, I am home...

New Look for My Blog

2008-11-12T23:05:00.006+08:00

After 5 years looking at the same old layout, I finally took some time off to update the look and feel of this blog and viola! How do you guys like the new look?

Before

I know, I don't have those bluish-greenish eyes like the sexy lady in the pictue but hey, I do have long dark hair and I'm fair-skinned. OK, so my nose isn't as sharp and my eyes aren't as big but I do have well-defined eyebrows.

After

Ooo, did I mention my lips are just as kissable? :p

Movie Review - Babylon A.D.

2008-08-28T17:02:00.009+08:00

Yesterday, me, hubby and a group of friends rushed through the massive jam in the city after the heavy downpour to catch the premier screening of Babylon A.D. We won the tickets through an online contest so imagine our surprise when a girl jumped out and were practically shoving a bunch of tickets in our faces before we even get near the booth to collect our tickets. “Take them, they’re free tickets”, she was saying as she displayed the tickets like a magician would with a deck of cards. That ought to have triggered alarm bells that the movie is just a whole lot of bullshit.

Initially, I wasn't really interested in going when I saw that the male lead is Vin Diesel. Anyone who is nicknamed after a petroleum-based fuel can't be that good an actor to start with. Vin Diesel was actually just playing a role that he has played so many times before. A tough guy hit by a sudden conscience out to save the world. How many times have we seen that? I was yawning 15 minutes into the show.

"I'm SO tough I eat nails for lunch! (Nah, it's really just bunny meat)"

Set in the near future, the story basically revolves around the mercenary Toorop (Diesel) and his job of getting a package (young pretty blonde thing - Melanie Thierry) accompanied by her 'nanny' (played by our very own Datuk Michelle Yeoh) safely from Mongolia to America. What he doesn't know is that the girl carries within her a virus that could threaten all of mankind. Oh shudder.

"Do we look like we spend nearly all our lives in an isolated convent?"

Apart from the action-sequences, which can actually be very headache-inducing at the best of times, there is nothing else worth spending your time and money on this particular movie. Adapted from a French cyberpunk novel by Maurice G. Dantec called ‘Babylon Babies’, the movie version is just a mesh of stupid storyline, no plot, lousy acting, corny dialogues and a most exasperating ending. All of us were like 'Huh?' when it ended. That's it, motherfuckers? That’s the end?

I can almost hear the director shouting to the cast and crew, 'Hey guys, let's wrap this up quickly, we only got 5 minutes left. I'm running out of film!" I mean, the ending really leaves the audience baffled as to what just transpired. According to Wikipedia, director Mathieu Kassovitz has expressed outright disgust with the distributors, 20th Century Fox, for removing the movie from his control and altering it significantly. He described the film as "pure violence and stupidity" and that "parts of the movie are like a bad episode of 24." I couldn't have agreed more.

This has got to be the worst movie I have been to this entire year! Ptuit!!!

Who's That Girl?

2008-04-11T10:38:00.000+08:00

Writing the previous post, I was reminded of an incident which happened 12 years ago which coincidentally is the previous Rat Year for the Chinese. I just finished high school and was working part-time to earn some extra moolah while waiting for my SPM results. Me and then BFF found a job in a local supermarket as cashiers.

Being a supermarket, the staffs are required to work in shift. Me and BFF usually tried not to be separated although we were usually assigned different counters. Then come this one fine day when I was to work in the morning and she was to take the afternoon shift.

Imagine my surprise when I saw her at the counter when I get in that morning. Still, happy to see her, I bounded over and greeted her. She beamed back at me. The scene still plays vividly in my mind till today. The conversation below is not exact but similar. After all, this is 12 years ago.

Me : Hey, I thought you are working the afternoon shift today?

BFF : Yea but they changed me to morning shift at the last minute.

Me : Oh great! Then we can have lunch together today. I'll come down and meet you at 1pm.

BFF : OK! See you!

Me : See you!

I went up to my own counter after that short conversation as work was about to start. A little after 1pm, I went down to get her but I couldn't find her. Back then, we don't have the luxury of mobile phones like kids do nowadays. Feeling a tad sad and confused, I resigned to eating with other colleagues that day. But as I left the office for lunch, I was surprised to see her coming to work from the direction of her house wearing different set of clothes.

As it turns out, she was working the afternoon shift that day and just got in to work. She was nowhere near the supermarket that morning and no one else saw anyone that even remotely resembles her that morning anywhere near the supermarket. I know she wouldn't play a joke on me so I was dumbstrucked.

We both quit the job soon after and I never did found out who or what I spoke to that morning. Spooky.

I Hate Rats!!!

2008-04-09T18:15:00.007+08:00

People say that those that are born in the Year of the Horse of the Chinese zodiac don't get along well with those born in the Year of the Rat. Being a Horse, predictions say that it will be a bad year for me this year. Of course, the Scully in me pooh-poohed the very thought of it but now that almost 2 months had passed since Chinese New Year, I am not so sure anymore.

You see, I had been suffering from backache since early March. The first doctor I went to told me to sit tight and if possible, get myself chauffeur-driven to and back from work if I do not want to end up in a wheelchair. She said my nerve is causing the backache. It got so bad that at one point I can scarcely walk let alone use the staircase. The muscle-relaxant and painkillers do nothing to improve my situation. I had to kiss my high heels goodbye.

A couple of weeks or so later, I went to another doctor who told me that I had problems with my bones. She said I probably had the wrong posture when I sit or walk and that is causing the pain. More muscle-relaxants and painkillers and even physiotherapy didn't help. I was getting worried at this point as I was scheduled to go for a holiday with my hubby in Bali at the end of March. We can't reschedule as everything had been paid for much earlier. I decided a break would do me good after all and so we went.

Luckily, the pain started to subside a little and I was able to walk around with relatively minor discomfort during my holiday there. Alas, it wasn't going to be the holiday I had in mind as it was raining from the afternoon that we arrived. So much fun sloshing your way through murky muddy waters in temples and the market of Ubud with your jeans soaked up to your knees in search of souvenirs I tell ya. Nevermind that too, I didn't even manage to see the famous sunsets of Bali even though I went to Tanah Lot on Day 1, Jimbaran on Day 2 and Uluwatu on Day 3! It was just too cloudy. However, Day 4 was a bright sunny day but it was also the day we were scheduled to depart. Now if that wasn't down to bad luck I don’t know what is.

Water, water, everywhere...

Sunset at Tanah Lot

Lunchtime at Kintamani looking over at the still active volcano in the distance

Tourists with brollies

Sunset at Jimbaran

I was barely back to work after my trip before a severe bout of food poisoning from a buffet dinner to celebrate birthdays in the office landed me in bed for 2 days straight with diarrhea and fever. I went to the toilet 6 times on the first day so much so that my knees tremble when I tried to cross my legs. Poor, weak me lost 2 kilos in those 2 days which was so hard for me to gain in the first place. Sigh. Damn the catering company! 'Best' caterer's the name to avoid, good people.

The very next, I received a call midday through work that my mom got into a very bad accident. It was so bad that her car now is to be declared a total loss. It is a miracle she survived with only a bloody lip and minor scratches. I cannot believe so many unfortunate things can happen consecutively in such a short period of time. I think I need to soak myself in Holy Water or something. And to think that Mickey and Minnie Mouse are so deceptively cute is just too scary a thought to entertain. Even Ratatouille.

By then, I had been on medication for more than 1 full month so I decided enough is enough and I finally went to a chiropractor last weekend who came very highly recommended thanks to my relatives. After he fixed my back, I thought "Hey, this isn’t so bad". That’s when he gave me a strange look and told me that he noticed my jaw is not aligned properly and needed adjustment as well. What am I now? A car which needed alignment?!

Anyhow, I am now only supposed to eat non-solid food for the next 3 weeks but porridge day in and day out really makes me miserable so I resorted to eating "soft" food that doesn't require much chewing. That’s not all, I am forbidden to laugh loudly or yawn too widely. Let's see what happens to my backache and jaw after my follow-up visit to him in the next couple of weeks.

In the meantime, I shudder to think there's still about 9 more months before the Year of the Boar arrives. Pray for me!

Malaysian General Elections 2008

2008-03-10T21:16:00.001+08:00

With the General Elections just over, many Malaysians like me all over the country are feeling ecstatic with the outcome. It is so exhilarating seeing democracy at work. I don’t remember being ever so hyped up about elections in our country before this but this time around, I can literally feel the winds of change blowing even before the campaigning had even started. My family and I stayed up till the wee hours of Sunday morning to cheer and boo as the election results were trickling in on the television screen.

It is of no secret that many Malaysians had been generally dissatisfied with the ruling government. The government was either both blind and deaf not to realize or they were just pretending that nothing was wrong and hope the anti-establishment sentiments it will blow over in time. Either way, it did not do them any good not to listen to the voice of the ‘rakyat’. The Malaysians voters had matured over the years and we are not a child so easily pacified with a candy anymore.

I may not be any political analyst but even I can tell that we will be seeing an extremely exciting era in the government pretty soon. I personally feel that the Indian community will be even more dissatisfied with Samy Vellu for not being gracious enough to offer his resignation ala Tan Sri Dr Koh Tsu Koon even after MIC suffered such a huge humiliating and embarrassing defeat at the polls. Enough is enough already. The guy just can’t seem to take the not so subtle hint from the people he is supposed to be representing. Honestly, I feel not an ounce of sympathy to see him going down.

Also, any less than honest outgoing officials of those states won by the Opposition are now cowering in fear as it seems that Opposition supporters are hell-bent of digging up any past corruptions details or wrongdoings. I predict that more skeletons will be coming out of a myriad collection of closets in the months to come. Its drama time and I can’t wait for the premiere. I hope to see that no more politicians will be off the hook with just a slap in the butt even when they built a mansion illegally and that no more bills will be passed or changed in the Parliament without a closer scrutiny.

The loose alliance of DAP-PAS-PKR will face tough and challenging times ahead of them as government seeing as to how most are tasks with the job for the first time. They better do a kickass job if they want to get re-elected for the next term. After all the fiery ceramahs, Malaysians would not expect anything less. I however wish them all the best and pledge my full support for them because when I woke up this morning, I felt than the sun was just a little bit brighter and the birds singing were just a little chirpier knowing that check-and-balance is now present in the government.

I say we ‘yam seng’ to a better, fairer, more transparent and accountable government. YAM SENG!!!

Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction

2008-03-10T19:59:00.003+08:00

Many moons had passed since I last posted in my blog. Now, I know many of you are asking why I stopped writing. Well, the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.

The story started many months ago when I tied my Blogger account to my Gmail account, or so I thought at the moment. You see, when we tie a Blogger account with a Gmail account, we had to key in our Gmail address and also provide the correct password to the Gmail account. After a successful tie-in, you only had to key in the Gmail address and the password to the Gmail account to gain access to your Blogger account therefore making away with a separate username to the blog.

Say for instance, my gmail is AAAbbb@gmail.com with the password ‘ccc’. I remembered the username wrongly and I keyed in bbbAAA@gmail.com with the password ‘ccc’ and voila, it goes through. I didn’t suspect anything was amiss since I hardly use the Gmail account anyway. After all why should I since I can provide the correct password.

Many months had passed until one fine day I discovered that I can’t login to my Blogger account anymore. I then proceeded to try to login to the bbbAAA@gmail.com account and discovered that I can’t login either. Just out of sheer curiosity, I tried AAAbbb@gmail.com and when I see my own inbox it finally hit me that I had tied my blog to a total stranger all these while. A stranger residing in another country with a similar name as me but not quite me.

This stranger must have changed the password and with that, I can’t access my blog either. Holy crap! I tried emailing Google for help but to no avail. I also tried getting help from forums and discussion sites but to success whatsoever either. As a last resort, I even emailed the owner of the bbbAAA@gmail.com account for help but the bitch wasn’t responding. What’s a bad ass chick to do?

So last weekend, after half a year of frustation, I decided that all avenues had been exhausted and decided to do the unmentionable. All I can say now is, it feels good to be back! Hip hip hooray!!!

Butt-Crack Spotted @ Matta Fair

2007-09-14T16:09:00.000+08:00

Hi all, it' been a while since I logged in to update my blog seeing as to how I was logging in at least 12 hours a day at work for the past 1 month or so. A little voice inside my head directed me to the Matta Fair last Sunday, telling me I deserved a good long break and so there I was rounding the place with my hubby for a suitable holiday vacation.

As we were walking around, we noticed a pretty young thing sitting with her butt half exposed for all the world to see. Now don’t get me wrong, I'm no prude but her jeans was SO very low, I can see at least 5cm of butt-crack! She was sitting right next to a woman who looked liked she could be the girl's mother. I don’t know if she knew her daughter or niece or whatever is giving such an eyeful to the fair visitors or that she would cared if she did.

Anyhow, we shrugged and moved on and so happened I was interested in a package offered at a nearby booth so we sat down to enquire. The salesperson who attended to us went for a good 10 minutes to check on the flight details we wanted and so our eyes started wandering. Guess who should catch our attention but a guy working for the booth where the smooth half-exposed butt was situated. He was clearly not doing his job of passing out brochures properly as he stood there and stared at the girl's butt unblinkingly. Every minute or so he would turn back to the crowd but I guess a strange force was compelling him to turn right back around and continue staring. Brochures clutched undistributed in his hands.

After a few rounds of this, he noticed that we were smirking at him and quickly looked away. OK, not we, just me then and tried to pried his eyes away but failing miserably when he think I wasn't looking. I still can't get over how low her jeans were. I'm not sure if she can even wear her underwear under those jeans as I'm pretty sure underwears don't come that low! Maybe she taking advice from Paris Hilton. After all, it's just Matta Fair, why the need to dress to kill?

My Celebrity-sightings Trip

2007-09-14T15:42:00.001+08:00

Between 27 and 29 May 07, I spent 3 days 2 nights in Hong Kong and boy oh boy, what a trip it has been. I kept running into celebrities one after the other.

After getting through the immigration check point at the KLIA airport, I was surprised when I see many young girls snapping away their cameras at this particular lad while the officer did a brief body search on him. Later on, the same group girls were at it again while we're on board the aerotrain to towards the gate. In fact, cameras clicked away furiously along with every step he took and he seems to be oblivious to the attention. Curiosity got the better of me and I took some shots at him and later only did I find out that he is Danson Tang Yu Zhe, a Taiwanese singer who was in Malaysia to promote his drama called "Hanazakarino Kimitachihe" which was playing on 8TV at 7pm, from Monday to Friday. Apparently he plays the character Liang Si Nan.

Next, while I was queuing up to board my plane, guess who should be queuing up right behind me but our very own Camelia! I didn't manage to get a picture with her though. I must say I'm really surprised to find her to be such a petite lady. She promised me and a girl I just befriended a photo with her after the plane landed but she was no where to be found after that. Sigh.

Then, while visiting Victoria Peak, me and my new friend run into a Hong Kong TV host doing a story on the Madame Tussaud's museum. Any readers from Hong Kong can shed a light on who he is?

After that, I was scheduled to see a showcase at HITECH and who else was there to cover the story but a Taiwanese host. He was holding a mike that says 'MTV' but unfortunately, I have no idea what's his name as well. There’s also a popular local DJ around but I couldn’t get his picture which is really a waste because he was seriously extremely good looking. *slurp*

Last but not least, the highlight of my trip was a meeting with Mika! Honestly, I was not a big fan before my trip but the moment his lanky frame bounded onto the stage with the most infectious energy and enthusiasm and I know I'm as good as sold. Of course it helps that his brand music is feel-good pop, the type of songs you wanna play over and over again. I was a full convert before the showcase even ended, not to mention a little deaf as I was in the first row right in front of the speakers. We even got the chance to go backstage for a meet-and-greet session! I was slightly giddy by that time from all the excitement.

All in all, this has been an awesome trip. It was my first time traveling on my own but the people I’ve met and the friends I’ve made along the journey truly makes this an unforgettable trip. I simply love the place and if I really have to pick something to complain about it would be the fact that my chicken rice was served to me in a plate but I was provided chopsticks! I’m hopeless with them but you know what, I probably shouldn't complain because on the day I was scheduled to leave, my friend and I ran into Mika's entourage comprising his sister and mother. How many fans can lay claim to that, eh? *grins*

My Love Affair with the Autobots!

2007-07-02T17:34:00.001+08:00

Last Tuesday, I was lucky enough to catch the premiere of Transformers at Cineleisure, Damansara. My colleagues won some tickets and one of them was so sweet as to offer to bring me along with her. Needless to say, I jumped at the chance. It was always fun attending premieres where one gets to see lots of local celebrities. I saw Paul Moss, Belinda from the 8tv Quickie and a couple of guys from the 'What Women Wants' reality programme.

We were somewhat disappointed to find our seats to be the 2nd row from the front but all were quickly forgotten as the movie started. What's a little neck pain and out of focus vision when you get to watch Transformers before the rest of the crowd right? Nevermind too that I was starving as we came straight from the office without dinner and were tired from all the bullshit at work. Transformers will be the cure-all that I need.

My main objective is to see Optimus Prime so I sat there and waited. To the uninitiated, Optimus Prime is the heroic leader of the Autobots, the good guys. Minutes passed by and still no sign of my beloved. Sure there were plenty of action sequences to keep me occupied and plenty of laughs but where's my Prime? Moments passed and then suddenly BAM! I knew that he was coming. So I waited in bated breath and sighed as he stood up to his full length in the first full movie appearance. As he uttered the words 'I am Optimus Prime.', I swear I was orgasmic! Nothing beats seeing him so alive and so big after all these years.

There were clearly other big Prime fans in the audience that night as the house broke into cheers and applause at that very sight of him. I was SO proud I could cry. To quote the official movie site, Prime is the "personification of courage, strength and integrity". What's not to love about him? None. Neck pain? Didn't even feel it one bit. Hunger pans? What's that? I was just a bright-eyed 8 year old watching my hero in all his glory. This sure beats the old cartoon movie by a hundredth mile when the stupid writers had him killed off. How dare they?! @^!%&^!%@!

Anyway, back to the movie, I was just enveloped in this warm fuzzy feeling all night long seeing the Autobots beat the nuts and bolts out of the evil Decepticons. How on Earth did they make robotic giants so sexy is beyond me. I am glad the trailer didn't spoil the movie as so many did where all the best bits are what you get in the teaser. This ain't such a movie. Don’t think the audience who have cheered and clapped AGAIN at the end of the 2 and ½ hours if it did. I love every teeny-weeny, itsy-bitsy second of the movie. In fact, this has got to be the best movie of the year by far. I give it an A+++!

To anyone who have yet to see the movie, and especially to those who grew up watching Transformers as a kid, I say, 'Autobots, transform and rollout!'

Spidey's New Costume Unveiled

2007-05-24T12:26:00.001+08:00

Spotted on Sunday, 20 May 2007 in a Toyota showroom is Spiderman's new costume! Yup, you saw it first, here, on this blog, not Marvel. Feast your eyes, ladies and gentleman... *drum rolling*

"Does green shorts make me look fat?"

Food Review: Want to drink some 'dahl'?

2007-05-17T15:53:00.003+08:00

Being a pumpkin-soup-virgin, I didn’t know how pumpkin soup should taste like but last week I had the chance at this high-class pretentious place that we shall call Restaurant X. To sum up the soup, I had to say it was utterly and indescribably yucky! Imagine drinking an orange concoction that tested exactly like how dahl would taste like if you blended it with water. You know dahl, those curry-like stew you dipped your roti canais in. "Blended dalh" is as close a description as it can get and it tastes as gross as it sounds. Later my friends and I found out that the pumpkin soup tasted like it did because they had been prepared with a sprinkle of cumin. How weird we thought. I'm never gonna try soups listed as 'Chef's Creation' in the menu ever again!

"This is dahl but imagine drinking a watery version of this."

Nevermind that, our main course was a cold slab of fish served with an indistinguishable brownish sauce and an equally indistinguishable light brown sauce. Dessert was a big plate with half a slice of strawberry, cinnamon ice-cream and warm apple crumble tart. The only edible thing that tasted good to me was the dessert. Thank God for them as I was close to gagging because of the fishy smell from the main course.

Now anyone would have stayed away from this restaurant but no, we had to be dragged there again only a week later. We were reluctant to try again but someone dangled the 'Different Menu' carrot on us. And indeed what a difference it was, not just from the previous menu but from all the other restaurants we ever been to. Our appetizer was a plate of vege + sliced boiled egg + tuna + cubed baked potatoes and beans!

"Appetising? Yes?"

A feeling of dejavu washed over me as I tried to down this. It was just as bad as the pumpkin soup. I was starting to feel like I'm caught up in some Fear Factor show by now. Anyone time now Joe Rogan would pop up from nowhere and scream "Fear Factor Lunch Hour Invasion!" in my face. But no, instead the main course arrived and it was even worse. We were served tempura but I dunno what kind of flour or oil they use to fry the seafood with cause they tasted like leftovers to me. The chili + tomato + mayonnaise that we piled on only help to make it ever so slightly better.

Lastly, our dessert came and much to my disappointment, the pistachio ice-cream tasted like an almond-flavored one instead. Horrors! Anyone ever being forced to drink almond soup as a child? If yes, then you'd know what it was like to drink an almond soup mixed with tears for 2 hours. Lucky for the half slice of strawberry and brownies to drown out the horrible taste. It's also interesting to note that they served the dessert while we were still chowing away on the tempura. Insert *raised eyebrow* here.

"Chocolate fondant served with chocolate sauce and pistachio ice cream"

I really don't understand why people would voluntarily pay good money for this place. Sure, we get a nice view of the Eye on Malaysia but is it worth it? It's not like they even had cute waiters and service is clearly something else they don't excel at. This place gets a lowly undeserving '2' on the Bad Ass Chick's rating scale.

Stay away from a certain 24th floor in our nation's capital's city center. You've been warned!

My 'Good Charlotte' Day

2007-04-24T14:55:00.002+08:00

It all started innocently enough. Girl listens to the radio and finds Good Charlotte has some pretty darn catchy songs. Girls hear news of their concert in KL and girl gets excited but little did girl know that things will quickly turn into rollercoaster ride from thereon.

Event : MTV Live Featuring Good Charlotte
Date : Saturday, 21st April 2007
Venue : Carpark A, Bukit Jalil Stadium, KL
Time : 8.00pm

First of all, I've tried entering every freaking contest I came across to secure 2 tickets to the concert. MTV? Check. Digi? Check. Junkonline? Check. Star newspaper? Check. Sony BMG? Check. Did I miss out any? Probably so but still, all those contests and nothing. Hubby had to buy the tickets from this dude we found off the net. OK, so I got a pretty decent price for VIP tickets. I managed to bargained down the price from RM100 for each VIP tickets to RM120 for both but still, curse MTV and Digi for all the hassle! Bah!

Anyway, the long-awaited day finally arrives. Hubby was working half day so I did my wifey duties at home. By 5pm I was dead exhausted from the chores I had completed seeing how Saturday is the only day I do them. Took a short nap as it was raining and I sure as hell ain't gonna stand in the rain at the concert venue. I wore my 5-inches-high knee-high boots as I figured I needed the extra height to see past the see of heads at the concert later as I know I'm no basketball player material. And no, I'm not crazy to wear heels to a standing concert as I'm used to them.

So, out we went to grab some snacks and lo and behold, my heels broke just as I was about to step out from the car! Damnit, now of all times? So we detoured to a nearby relative's house and grabbed the nearest pair of shoes we can find that fits me which so happens to be a pair of pink slippers. My extra height dream just fell flat on my face there and then.

Nevermind that, I kept my spirits high in the thought that we'd be rocking with Good Charlotte soon. Was really pleased to find the VIP entrance without so much as a queue when the normal entrance was jammed up with snakes of people. Phew, RM120 bucks well spent I thought. We reached the mosh pit to find that hey, we're only like 5 rows from the front of the stage. How cool is that? I can finally see up Joel and Benji's nostrils if I so inclined. Awesome! Kiddin, that's just gross no matter who they are.

It was a long hot stuffy wait as the concert started at about 9pm when it was supposed to have started at 8pm. *rolleyes* I heard some fanatic fans actually started queuing up at like 5pm! Gosh! I started to have difficulty breathing as the air was getting really stuffy from the crowd and the spotlights beaming down on us only made the air hotter and stuffier. One dude standing close to me had terrible BO. *gag* RM120 doesn’t seemed so well spent now.

However, that was quickly forgotten as VJ Colby and VJ Denise Keller appeared on stage to introduce One Buck Short followed by VJ Utt and VJ Nur Fazura (Putri from the Gol & Gincu series), Estranged and finally, Lo. Now I just had to mention how incredibly handsome Utt is. So much more better looking than when he's on TV. Face..., body..., he is just purr-fect! *salivating*

So, after an hour plus later and much sweating and shoving from the much TALLER people all around me, Good Charlotte finally makes their appearance. I was still in high spirits, jumping around to their songs but I didn't get far. Only halfway through the 2nd song, 'Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous', which so happens to be one of my favourite songs from them, the unthinkable and the unimaginable happened. I fainted!

I still dunno what happened. I was jumping around to the song then suddenly I felt very tired and very sleepy. I leaned back against my hubby and then I tried to stand up straight again. I opened my eyes once more but the sleepiness was just overwhelming. I remembered leaning back at hubby for the second time and the next thing I knew, I was asleep, floating and dreaming. I dunno how long it passed before I came to. I felt someone checking my breathing and I heard 'Keep Your Hands Off My Girl' blaring in the background. Only then did I realize that I was actually being carried out away from the crowd.

Funny thing is, when woke up, I was clutching somebody's shoe like it was a bolster and my slippers have gone MIA. After resting and drinking some water, I was fine and wanted to get back to the mosh pit but couldn't as I was walking around barefoot. We decided to watch from our seats afar and left by 11pm. Hubby gave me a piggyback ride back to our car. Was really sad I couldn't enjoy the concert as much as I had wanted to. I've been to many concerts in the past and had never fainted like this before. Even survived the much more crowded sardine-can-like snake pit in Linkin Park's concert. Must be the exhaustion + hunger + dehydration + stuffy smelly air at the mosh pit this time.

To the girl who lost a shoe, I'm so sorry! I didn't know how your shoe ended up in my hands. To Good Charlotte, you guys were great, please come back again. Last but not least, thanks to my honey for being so sweet throughout the entire day.

300 Rocks!!!

2007-03-12T12:47:00.002+08:00

300, one of the most visually-stunning movie of this year had graced our shores on Thursday night and yours truly was lucky enough to catch the movie last weekend. For you see, my husband and I, along with our bunch of friends had been waiting in bated-breath for the movie ever since we saw the trailer in the cinema. He, for the violent cool factor of the show and me, just because I'm a sucker for anything Greek-related.

The story tells of King Leonidas, who had a tendency to bare this teeth for all the world to see when he speaks and litters his sentences with liberal amounts of exclamation marks, who was forced to take a 'stroll' with 300 of his beefy 'bodyguards' when the jewelry-and-make-up-wearing Persian God-King Xerxes threatens his beloved Sparta because Spartan politics and religion would not allow him to start a war during some sacred ceremonial month.

"You mean there is a pile of bodies somewhere in this picture and not just a bunch of bootylicious, scalding hell-temperature HOT half-naked men?"

So what we get is an excellent adaptation of Frank Miller's graphic novel into a copper-toned, fantasy-like realm where all the men are tough, rough and buffed. If you are not born with boobs then you better make damn well sure that you are either a man's man, alpha male Spartan or you are souvenir to the Grim Reaper before your first diaper change. After all, to quote the King, ‘THIS! IS! SPARTA!!!’.

I was really reeling myself for a squirm and squeal session for most part of the movie as I'm not really into gore and violence but pleasantly surprised myself but sitting through the show wide-eyed and thoroughly enjoying the slash-stab-kill action without so much as a blink. Watching the half-naked men in action actually makes me wanna kill a certain middle-aged biatch at work Spartan-style. Tonight you dine in hell!!! Grr!!!

"You want a piece of me?!!!"

There was a few scene that made me laugh out loud though and I heard the guy behind me commenting, 'Weird people'. I'm very sure he directed that comment at the near-psychotic, death-numb Spartan warriors and not me. Watch out for the light hearted moments courtesy of a spinning decapitated head, some elephants, an apple, a goat and an eye. Trust me, I've not gone mad as yet.

So all in all, I would say this one is definitely a winner and worth the money and time spent in the darkened cinema hall provided that you are not trying to hard to make it politically or historically-correct. Just enjoy the movie for the cool factor and you will come out from the cinema a very satisfied person and perhaps rushing to sign up that long overdue gym membership.

Movie Review - Ghostrider

2007-03-07T11:59:00.000+08:00

Call me stubborn or hard-headed but I just had to watch a movie to decide for myself even if the majority of reviews give a movie a bad rap. That is just what happened with Ghostrider (or 'Penunggang Motosikal' according to the Malay subtitle) recently.

Now, I've got a bad feeling already when I saw that Nicholas Cage was taking the lead in the movie. I mean common, the old man is balding! How convincing can he be as a bad ass biker? They should have just stick to the gorgeous young bloke playing the young Johnny Blaze for the rest of the movie. He is yummylicious. This way, even if the movie sucks, which it did BIG time, then at least the girls in the house still get an eye candy to drool over while the guys slobber over Eva Mendes's booming asset. Now when I say boom, I really meant 'explode'. Just watch the movie and you'll know what I mean, you pervert.

Anyhow, other than bad casting (Nicholas Cage is just SO wrong for the part. Heck, even the old Ghostrider looks way much cooler.), there's also the bad posturing from Nic. There's this one pose with the fore finger pointing at the bad guys with the rest of the fingers curled back awkwardly that just had me laughing out loud in the cinema. It's just such an insanely dumb pose to strike. I wonder if Nicky boy came up with that on his own or the director who incidentally also helmed the flopped efforts in Daredevil and Elektra did. I'm seeing a trend here.

Now, I'm not much of a comic-book person but even I know the storyline in the movie wasn't the same as those in the comics. Worse still, there is zilch action in the movie other than some fleeting moments of a burning skull on a cool burning bike. The bad guys dropped like flies. One word to describe them, pathetic with a capital 'P'. I'm totally disgusted.

So, my 2 cents worth of review here is this is a big waste of time. I sincerely believe a few of my excellent brain cells would have lasted that much longer had I not subjected them to the show.

Britney Fed Up With K-Fed

2006-12-29T15:33:00.000+08:00

Hey, my posting title rhymes!

Anyway, today I'm just going to share with you another hilarious article I read. I forgot where it came from but it is SO sarcastic funny I just had to share it. I read it yesterday and it's still hilarious when I read it now. So here goes, enjoy.

Blame K-Fed's soaring success for Britney split

Wannabe rapper can now sell his CDs out of the trunk of his Ferrari

The story of “A Star Is Born” is by now familiar. A husband and wife in show business struggle to keep their union strong despite the fact that one of them finds fame and fortune while the other endures only heartache and disappointment. The most serious casualty in such a relationship isn’t a broken dream; it’s everlasting love.

I couldn’t help but gravitate toward the “A Star Is Born” model when the news broke that Britney Spears and hubby Kevin Federline are calling it quits. Obviously, the strain of astounding success juxtaposed against pathetic failure proved to be too much. Obviously, Britney just couldn’t deal with K-Fed’s meteoric rise into hip-hop royalty.

It must be brutal for Brit. One moment he’s lying around the mansion with his entourage siphoning her funds while trying to think of words that rhyme with “prenup,” then suddenly it’s all gone. No more insipid heart-to-hearts. No more unexplained late-night absences. No more pleas for career boosts. Just a big black hole where his love had been.

K-Fed’s status in the entertainment business has been massively misinterpreted, and, in turn, this breakup will appear to the unenlightened as Britney getting fed up with K-Fed.

Sure, he was booed recently during a brief appearance at the annual Halloween Carnival in West Hollywood. And he was booed at an appearance during a World Wrestling Entertainment match in L.A. And he reportedly had to plead to keep organizers from canceling a concert in a New York City club after only 300 people showed up in a room that holds 1,500. And shows at the House of Blues in Cleveland and Atlantic City were cancelled. And many in the hip-hop community reacted with derision and scorn after K-Fed performed at the Teen Choice Awards, including XXL magazine editor-in-chief Elliot Wilson, who said: “He doesn’t get that he’s Britney’s man and it’s hard to take him seriously.”

Also, there is his new CD, “Playing With Fire,” in which he raps about climbing out of obscurity in Fresno to enjoy a life of privilege and wealth as Britney’s husband. Rolling Stone’s Kevin O’Donnell called it “reprehensible,” while Entertainment Weekly’s Chris Willman gave it a grade of “F” and Stephen Thomas Erlewine of All Music Guide said, “It’s also a bore because he’s a boor.”

All of that is just jealousy. K-Fed has, above all else, street cred. The street in question might be Rodeo Drive, but still. People make such a big deal out of the fact that 50 Cent has been shot nine times. Try being K-Fed for a day. Try loading a day’s worth of shopping and 11 slacker buddies into one Rolls-Royce Phantom and then come talk to me about street cred.

Our finest hip-hop artists are where they are because they draw upon challenging life experiences and harrowing close calls to inspire their music. This is K-Fed all over. He’s a poster boy for adversity. For instance, recently he told Entertainment Weekly: “I used to be embarrassed to go to the store and buy tampons, but that’s all past tense. Once you make it through that, then you’re good.”

It’s possible that quote was taken out of context, but I don’t recall him saying that he was buying the tampons for Britney. If he wasn’t, if he was just buying them, then he is truly facing more hardship than any man should bear. Somewhere in that tragic situation is a song that, despite threats of more ridicule, demands to be written and performed before a sparse audience.

Britney made a recent appearance on “Late Night With David Letterman” and looked good. She had a sassy new blond hairdo and was clad in an enticing black dress. It was only a staged cameo, a mere morsel of celebrity banter, but it gave her an opportunity to meet the public during this trying time. The folks in Dave’s audience responded favorably, bathing her in applause.

But she obviously is hurting. Reminders are everywhere. Whenever she sees a married couple sitting together in a restaurant, she’ll immediately think of Kevin, especially if the guy is making the woman pick up the check. When she attends one of the major music awards shows, she’ll hobnob with fellow superstars backstage and long for the days when Kevin was beside her, asking her for 20 bucks for cigarettes.

Funniest Article of 2006

2006-12-28T15:57:00.000+08:00

The article is taken from The Star Online's website on 28 Dec 06.

Bloggers feeling deprived after access throttled

KUALA LUMPUR: One group that has been badly hit by the disruption of Internet access is the blogger community.

Most bloggers using overseas-based servers like Friendster, Xanga and MySpace have found it difficult to access their weblogs.

Blogger Joyce Wong said she only managed to upload a few sentences onto her blog.

“It is really getting to me because I have all my information and contacts online and I cannot get my work done,” said Wong, who is known as KinkyBlueFairy online.

For radio deejay cum music producer Johan Farid Khairuddin, the inability to post his blog meant that he has been disconnected from his fans. “I blog very frequently – every five minutes if I may say so – and this breakdown has affected me emotionally as I am unable to interact with others,” said the 26-year-old.

Student Adrian Teh, 22, who blogs and reads his friends' posts regularly, said he felt hopeless.

Tech and gadgets blogger Albert Ng said he was not affected by the disruption because his weblog was in a local server. However, he has had difficulties going to his friends' blogs as well as international e-mail sites.

Noor Faridah Zulkiflie was planning to revert to paper and pen since she was unable to post her blogs online. “I feel wretched now because I have lots of pent-up feelings but unfortunately cannot write about them,” said the 22-year-old student.

OK OK, so some part of the Internet was down yesterday but for the life of me I just cannot make the connection between that and using words like 'deprived', 'hopeless' and 'wretched' to describe one's feeling of being unable to blog for less than a day.

Seriously, why is our national newspaper compelled to publish this story is beyond me. Not that all news should be the serious, doom and gloom kind though. Aah, I get it. Must be for its entertainment value. I laughed my heart out reading the article above while drinking my coffee this morning. What a great way to start the day.

Sure blogging is fun but feeling deprived, hopeless and wretched just because you can write online? Get a life! And what's with blogging every 5 minutes? That's not blogging, that's just crazy! 10:05 Drinking coffee, 10:10 Peeing the coffee I just drank, 10:15 Checking emails, 10:20 Just breathing...

Is this article for real or what?

Lord, help me please!

2006-12-18T17:46:00.000+08:00

Now let me just tell you that I'm all for freedom in choosing one's religion and I have nothing against any other religion other than my own. So, that is why it irks me so much that a certain person I know had been trying to convert me and my friends to Christianity against our wishes.

Example of things the zealot had done:

1) Trying to get more people from her religion to join our group so that effort can be stepped up to convert the rest of us. I'm not making this up, she actually declared this out loud.

2) Suggested putting up posters of her idol, Jesus Christ, all around a common area shared by multi-racial people.

3) Chided me for wearing low-cut jeans and spaghetti strap because her pastor would definitely not approve of it in church. Excuse me, hello, I DON'T attend your church, woman! Bah!

4) Made us listen to her talks on Christianity for hours on end, sometimes forcing us to our skip lunches/dinners for it.

And the list goes on...

Now I know there are bound to be Christians reading this, so enlighten me please. Help me understand why is there a need for her to convert the rest of us so vigorously? Whatever happened to respecting the religion of others and freedom of choice?

Pouty Blonde Bond Rocks The Casino!

2006-11-20T16:37:00.000+08:00

OK, so my first reaction to Daniel Craig as the new Bond is "UGH!". He's so blonde and what's with the pouting of the thin lips anyway? So after reading much good reviews on Casino Royale only did I decide to check him out.

I must say I kinda like this new Bond. He's so much more violent than when Pierce Brosnan was at the helm and SO sarcastically funny that I am mortified to tell you that I enjoyed the torture scene tremendously! For the benefit of those who has yet to watch the movie, let's just say it involves a very painful scene involving the male reproductive system. Am I sick? Nah!

However, I'm less than err, inspired by the much hyped-about Bond-out-of-the-water scene. I wonder if that only affects newlyweds but nothing stirred in me as he emerged from the water. I didn't hear any gasps from the audience near me nor even a sigh. In fact, I think I stifled a yawn right about that time.

Now don't get me wrong. The movie is good. Maybe a tad long for me to sit through at 2 and a half hours but the final verdict is, he did a damn decent job. More action, more thrill, more violence, more rawness and more pouting.

Say 'YES' to the blondie Bond!

I'm Back! And Married!

2006-11-15T11:43:00.000+08:00

Howdy mate! Guess what? I'm back after my honeymoon in Australia! As some of you might already know, I got married last month to the most wonderful man. *winks*

I was actually near nervous breakdown-point during the last couple of weeks before the wedding. So many little details to look into and so little time. On top of that, I had to wrap up all my stuff at work so that I can pass over my workload smoothly to this sweet young boy who just joined my department to hold the turf while I go koala-hugging. Needless to say, my plans to get a good night's sleep the night before the big day never materialized.

I barely had 4 hours of sleep before I woke up for my make-up session early in the morning. Family and friends started arriving and I was busy posing for the camera. All hell broke loose when the groom and his heng tais (close male friends) arrived. My chee muis (close female friends) and the heng tais made such a commotion but from my seat in my bedroom, I can hear that my chee muis were all having so much fun ragging the groom and the heng tais. Wish I was out there myself! Kudos to hubby and the heng tais for being so sporting and fun. You guys get 2 thumbs up from my chee muis for your 'performances' that day.

After a string of tea ceremonies at my house and again at hubby's place, it was time again to get me ready for the night's reception at the restaurant. Boy, I barely had enough time to grab some lunch and bathe before my make-up artist knocked on my door again. At the dinner, I was too busy to even eat! I remember a few spoonful of shark fins' soup and a bite of the fish and that's about it. Entertaining 600 people at one go is one tough job to tackle. Gosh, were we relieved when it was all over.

The next few weeks after that are the best times I've ever had in my life. All those carefree days of waking up late in each other arms with nought a worry in the world is pure bliss. We enjoyed our honeymoon in Australia tremendously. However, I'd leave my travel stories in Sydney and Melbourne for another posting.

I've got to go off early now as I'm learning how to cook! Me -> cook! Stop looking so shocked, people. You disgust me! :P

Buggers and Boogers

2006-07-28T15:58:00.000+08:00

I've been taking the trains to work for the past year and I must say, the train can be a rather disgusting place.

Just the other day, a middle-aged couple boarded the train and took the seats a few feet away from me. They look like nice folks on their way to work. I was about to doze off when I noticed the most yucky thing a guy can do. The man started to dig his nose with gusto. I tried to shut my eyes to erase the horrendous image but it was no use. When I opened my eyes again, he was trying to flick off his 'golden nugget' from his finger. Not one flick but a few times! At that moment, I had to thank God that I was not seated directly opposite him. Imagine the sticky little bugger landing on my shoes or clothes. Eew!

He then proceeded to take out his mobile phone from his pocket and was busy pressing the buttons. I wouldn't borrow his mobile if it were the last piece of working communication device and I'm lost on a deserted island with James Blunt and Sean Paul (read here to find out why I hate them). I'm surprised the wife didn't hit him or something. If I'm here, I'd have divorced him! How's that for drastic measure?

Then how about those with nose hair sticking out for all their hairy glory? My fiance and I had the misfortune of meeting with a videographer whose nose hair was so prominently disguised as moustache it was unbelievable their didn't make their way into Ripley's. Though he quoted us the best price among all the videographers we've met, I told my fiancé to politely decline and we went with a higher-priced videographer as I do not have a wish to be photograped squirming during my wedding day. 'nuff said.

I need Dettol. For my eyes!

You're Pitiful, James Blunt

2006-07-28T12:45:00.000+08:00

I was reading a forum the other day and a topic caught my eye. Something about songs that annoy the hell out of them the most and boy oh boy, do I have a long list or what? Here are my current top annoyances:

10) L.O.V.E - Ashlee Simpson

9) Old Newspaper - Jason Lo

8) Stars Are Blind - Paris Hilton

7) Check On It - Beyonce

6) Maneater - Nelly Furtado

5) Temperature - Sean Paul

4) We Be Burnin' - Sean Paul

3) High - James Blunt

2) Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt

and the one that tops the list is *drum roll*

1) You're Beautiful - James Blunt

I dunno what it is about James Blunt that irritates me so much so that he fills all Top 3 spots on my hate list. It a toss between the high-pitched whining he tried to pass off poorly as singing or the fact that he looked like a damn sissy for an ex-military man. To quote a fella forummer, 'I'd like to hit James Blunt with a VERY blunt object!'. Haha! How true.

In fact, I not only can't stand his voice, I can't stand the sight of him either. The best part is, I'm not the odd one out. Many people I've asked find him irritating as well. In fact, he also topped the annoying list in the above-mentioned forum. Hate that stupid video of 'You're Beautiful', especially when he starts taking things out from his pocket. I thought the entire video is inane and it drives me insane!

This is one guy that makes my blood boil at the very sight and sound of him! Kudos to Weird Al Yankovic for his version called 'You're Pitiful'. I like that version just fine. Then there's that awful Sean Paul. Ugh! He call that mumbo-jumbo he's sputtering out as singing? Puh-lease! Don't even get me started!

What the Hell?

2006-06-06T14:46:00.000+08:00

So, today is supposed to be the end of times. The apocalypse. 666. The anti-Christ. Bla Bla bla. Yea, I kinda wish it was coming as then I won't have to sit here working my ass off. Alas, it isn't gonna happen that way as currently there's a 100,000-to-1 chance that we'll survive. Following that, I decided that the next best thing I can do now to cure me of my boredom is to share with you another sort of revelation that hit me while I was watching the American Idol finals the other day.

Now this is gonna blow your mind unlike any other. My fellow friends, behold the similarities below...

Check out those hairstyles dude! Prince and a Disney Gummi Bear sharing the exact same hairstyle! What are the odds of THAT?

PDRM and AAM Goes Hand-in-Hand in R-U-D-E-N-E-S-S

2006-06-02T12:42:00.000+08:00

There's a joke going around among a group of my friends that my blog doesn't get updated if I don't get pissed off and so we all know where this post is going. I was happily chatting away with my colleague as we car-pooled together on the way home yesterday night and all of a sudden, the car started jerking just after we passed by UE3 on the way to Cheras. So, she slowly inched her way from the fast lane and the car died just as we reached the left lane.

With the emergency lights on, she quickly called AAM to get assistance. We didn't want to add to the jam more than we already did. While she was on the phone, a traffic police came along and we thought he would help to divert the traffic as the road was starting to get chocked up. Instead, Imbecile No. 1 strutted over and started scolding us. Hey look here moron, it's not our wish for the car to break down on a busy road! *rolling eyes*

Asswipe then rudely instructed my friend to shift the gear to neutral and for me to get down from the car. He just can't seemed to understand when we tried to explain that the car wasn't moving even though my friend had it in neutral as the engine had died and that I can't get out as the car had died while it was too near to a row of concrete slabs by the side of the road. "Turun! Turun! Turun! Neutral, letak neutral!" was all he was shouting. Didn't the PDRM check the guy's eyesight and hearing before allowing him on the streets as a representative of their traffic team?

After much scolding from him, a passerby-motorist stopped and helped him to push our car as I took over the AAM phone call from my friend as she had to man the steering wheels. The 2 guys pushed our car into the middle of the road, directly on the divider! The police-moron then proceeded to give us another round of scolding, "Tak tau turn ka?! Orang tolong awak, you duduk situ?!". He expects me to get down from the car as it was being pushed by him. Get down from a moving car into the oncoming traffic. He didn't even give me time to get out! Great! Grrr! He then just left us there without even asking if we need help.

Over the phone, I was being entertained by a very rude AAM customer service personnel, hereby referred to as Imbecile No. 2. She simply puts down the phone without warning after I give her all the details. How rude! When my friend's sister called back she had the cheek to say 'I already sent the tow-truck why you call again?!". Excuse me woman, you do work for AAM's Helpline don't you? We waited 45 minutes for the tow-truck guy to arrive and when he did, he too started scolding as to why we parked the car on the divider as it makes it hard for him to tow. Imbecile No. 3 then proceeded to ask us girls to push the car in our high heels and skirt!

Another traffic police came by after that and threatened to give us a summon as the tow-truck had stopped on the fast lane. Imbecile No. 4 stood there watching as we tried to push a Proton Wira. How helpful indeed! He only helped towards the last minute when he saw that there's no way we can get the car to move. After that he too dissapeared like the first traffic police.

The tow-truck guy then towed the car to a nearby petrol station and started complaining about how it's late and that it's after his working hours. "Saya dah nak balik dah, dah lewat ni. Saya tak boleh tunggu." As I know, AAM's coverage is 24 hours, you dipshit! I quickly called my friend to call AAM Helpline again and he then resentfully and relunctantly agreed to tow the car back to my friend's house after talking to the person on the phone.

There's gonna be hell to pay soon! We've made complains at the traffic police's and AAM's complaint center today. Let's wait for the party to begin.

Naked Truth or Blinding Balderdash?

2006-03-09T16:21:00.000+08:00

Ever since my boyfriend popped "THE" question, we have been busying ourselves with the wedding plans. After the elders were properly informed, we had to choose the big date to walk down the aisle. I've never been the tradional or superstitious type but the elders insisted that we have our wedding date chosen by a fortune teller or someone like that. Images of a certain Feng Shui master and her toadly appearance immediately pop to mind and I shuddered.

So, one fine Saturday morning, we happily trotted off to see the 'Sifu'. I learnt that it had been hard to get the appointment that day as apparently, this is one very much sought-after man. The office was dark, air-conditioned and rather crammed. Not because the space is too small but because there was quite a queue while the phones were ringing off the hook! Whoever said you have to get a Degree to get a good paying job?

There were about 3-4 girls sitting at the reception area. I assumed they were his secretaries as they were the ones arranging the time for the meeting, getting the initial information about you, etc. Business was brisk all morning with all sorts of people seeking him for help on what to name their newborn babies, choosing the date for the grand opening of a new business, etc for a fee. Can't anyone decide anything on their own anymore? He ain't cheap too.

Anyway, we waited a while before being allowed to meet the guy. As it turns out, we didn't even get to meet him but only his son. Sonny spoke at bullet-train speed explaining to us something which I do not completely comprehend given my poor command of Chinese while gesturing at the Excel sheets that he had prepared. Wow, I didn't expect Junior to be so err, advanced.

Whatever happened to good old Chinese Ah Peks (old men in Hokkien) who sit under the tree and read your fortune while thoughtfully stroking his long beard? What's that you say? Who's facing extinction? No wonder Fat Blond Toad and her sorts are doing so well.

Top 10 Signs Your Boss is Out to Get You

2006-03-03T12:57:00.000+08:00

10. It's 12.30pm and you were about to leave the office for lunch with a hot date when your Boss gives you a new assignment and and the deadline is 3pm. You missed lunch. And the hot date.

9. Boss suggests to go to a pricey, high-end restaurant for lunch and it is not a treat. Luckily you just visited the ATM.

8. It's Friday night and you are pulling in an overtime when the Boss gives you a bunch of new work that would take you days to finish and demands to have them in 3 hours. You worked through the night and came back on Saturday and stayed till 7pm. You missed Friday's dinner and Saturday's lunch. And you were sick with flu all the while.

7. Boss chides you for the smallest oversight on the morning of the first day of a major public holiday over the work done from the week before.

6. Boss displayed utter dislike and comtempt if you ever revealed that you hold your family dearer than work. You held your silence but secretly wished you were home now instead of slaving away like the lowly-paid and overworked minion that you are.

5. Boss made you sit through a meeting that lasted for 4 and 1/2 hours where no conclusion was derived but plenty of gossips and inane jokes that made you roll your eyes. You also missed dinner. And you suffer from gastric.

4. Boss then announced dislike and disrespect for people who waste time during meeting by doing nothing but dishing out plenty of gossips and inane jokes.

3. Boss said to do A and when you delivered the A, the boss turns around and barks at you for not delivering B. You get scolded again when you try to explain because the Boss is always right and you are always wrong, Wrong, WRONG!

2. Boss never talks to you unless to give you more work or to chide you more but she does talk bad about you behind your back. You spent your time trying to stay out of Boss's gossip radar.

1. Boss often "jeling" (look and quickly look away) at you in disgust. You grit your teeth.

DISCLAIMER: These are purely my opinions only and any resemblance to any Bosses living or dead is purely unintentional and coincidental.

p/s: On second thoughts, if you are anything like the Boss above then you ought to just go and hang yourself for being such a bastard/bitch that you are.

Humiliated in Sunway Pyramid Part II

2006-03-01T15:41:00.000+08:00

Following the incident last Saturday where my fiancé and I were very rudely told to leave the Sunway Pyramid premises just because my fiancé had his arm over my shoulder, I've taken the liberty to create the below traffic sign for Sunway Pyramid. I wonder if they will implement it.

Humiliated in Sunway Pyramid

2006-02-27T10:17:00.000+08:00

If you ever visit the Sunway Pyramid mall with your significant other then you HAVE to read this story.

Date : Saturday, 25th Feb 2006
Time : 9.10pm
Venue : Steel bench, outside TGV Sunway Pyramid

My fiancé and I had just finished dinner and was waiting for the movie 'The Pink Panther' to start at 9.25pm so he suggested we sit down and chat instead of aimlessly walking around. I thought it was a good idea to catch up since we had both been so busy with work the past few days. We found a seat nearby the cinema facing a Nokia phone shop. Having had a rough week at work, I was unloading on him and he in playing his part as a good partner was his offering support as he reached over and gave me a squeeze on my upper arm as he half hugged me with his right hand. Sometime passed before a guy suddenly, abruptly and rudely cut us off in the middle of our conversation.

We look up to find ourselves staring at a Malay guy in his mid-20s to early 30s. He was thin, with short-cropped hair and was wearing a striped Polo T-shirt and black slacks. In his right hand, he was holding an A4-size paper clipboard. I cannot remember what he said word for word a 100% but I was angry enough to remember the gist of it. He glared at us and hissed 'Tak boleh buat macam itu! Ini tempat public you tau tak?!'. Directly translated he said 'Cannot do like that! This is a public place you know or not?!'.

It took me a few seconds for the absurdity of the situation to sink in. I was like 'Excuse me?! WHAT did you say?!' and my fiancé was equally incredulous as he asked 'Tak boleh buat macam ini?!' (Translation: 'Cannot do like this?!'). The guy was looking at us with such contempt as if we were having sex right there on the bench for all the world to see as he responded with 'Saya dari Sekuriti; I boleh suruh you keluar dari sini! Jangan buat macam itu!' (Direct Translation: 'I'm from Security; I can ask you to leave this place! Don't do like that!')

I was beyond boiling temperature at this point when I countered back with 'Apa tak boleh buat macam itu? Sini banyak orang macam ini! You pergi beritahu mereka semua la!' (Direct Translation: 'What cannot do like that? Here lots of people do like this! You go tell them all la!') while gesturing at the other couples in the crowd. He seemed at a momentary loss for words and then he just walked off leaving us angry and dumbfounded.

What is wrong here? Was it a crime to have my fiancé having his hand around me or is it a backward mentality of this man, whoever he is? I have never felt this outraged before. I really felt like running after him and giving him a good scolding when he walked off. Luckily for him my movie was starting by then. It was a really funny comedy with many people in the audience clapping their hands over the jokes but I was still boiling inside to enjoy it fully.

I cannot believe that Sunway Pyramid hires this kind of person in their Security Department, that is if he is telling the truth about working there. I do not intend to visit Sunway Pyramid again if it means being humiliated in public by their staff over something as innocent as having my fiancé’s arm over my shoulder. The whole situation is totally ludicrous, totally ridiculous!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who's the Corniest of Them All?

2006-02-06T15:24:00.000+08:00

I dunno if it's fated or what but come every Chinese New Year, I will surely come across some stupid shows on TV that makes me wanna crawl in through the TV set and stick my foot up some arses but since I obviously can't, I'm compelled to blog about them. Last year it was the Alan Tam and Hacken Lee's concert. This year it is the Miss Chinese International 2006 Pageant.

I don't have any problems with the looks of the candidates as beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all and there are actually a few who would make my head turn a few times if I am a hot-blooded male. It was the pathetic performances they put on and the moronic answers they give during the Q&A session that really gets to me.

The performances were nothing to shout about as many were just flinging their arms about mindlessly under the pretext of some cultural dance that was just embarrassing to watch. It would have been less painful to watch paint dry. I also can't stand the stupid 'beauty pageant wave' they all gave. Whoever taught them to wave like that? Graceful my foot! It makes them look retarded, that's all.

Things gradually got worse during the Q&A session. They were supposed to pick out a Chinese food item at random and describe how the item is similar to them. There were items like 'pau' (bun), fried rice, etc. One particular contestant that nearly got me vomiting blood was the one who got the 'zhu sau' (literally means pig hand). In answering how it was similar to her, she said, 'Kei sat leh, chu hai hou chong meng geh'. Translated, she said, 'Actually leh, pigs are very smart geh'. What the fuck?! Since when have anyone heard that pigs are Harvard material? Apparently this broad has never heard of the expression 'Chun kor check chu' (Dumber than a pig)!

I don't remember which genius candidate that was but she certainly didn't win the title. Thank God! On a sadder note, I think I've just killed a few brain cells for having glimpse part of the show. What a load of crap TV is feeding us these days. Hmmphhh! Oh heck it, at least the Ang Pows I collected are in abundance this year. Hip hip hooray!!!

Gong Xi Fa Cai everyone!

Ga-ga Over Sony

2006-01-24T17:15:00.000+08:00

Lately, I'm into the habit of spoiling myself silly. I am not really a shopaholic or a big spender but I just feel like giving myself some well-deserved treat from time to time. I mean what's the use of working my ass off when I can't even splurge a little on me?

It all started when I accompanied some friends into the Sony store in KLCC one fine night. It was there that I first laid eyes on the sexy Sony Cybershot DSC-T7. To say it was love at first sight would be an understatement. I made numerous trips back to the shop and also other camera shops to set loving gazes at my baby. I even considered T9 as it was the latest addition to the family. Choices, choices, choices. I hate choices sometimes.

I finally settled for the T5 which has the exact same features as the T7. Actually, I find that the T5 is even better than the T7 as it has internal memory which the gorgeous and more expensive T7 doesn't. The T5 is just a teeny-weeny itsy-bitsy bulkier than the T7 but I can look past that. The still slim and slender T5 still slips into my Levi's pockets just fine. No hassles when traveling at all. Love it to death!

I've been trigger-happy with the T5 ever since I got it and now I can't wait to court yet another one of my latest crush. It's the Sony Ericcson P990i smart phone. It's not even February 14 yet and love is already in the air. I hope my T5 won't be jealous of the P990i when it comes as I know I will be spending a lot, and I do mean a LOT of time with the P990i for a while.

Everything I've read about the P990i so far only makes me fall harder for it. It has touch screen, QWERTY keyboard, polyphonic ringtones, MP3, FM radio, Instant Messaging, Bluetooth, 3G, Infrared, USB port, WiFi, WAP, Opera browser, Word and Excel editor, PDF viewer, 2.0 Megapixel camera with 5x digital zoom and a host of other mind boggling features. Phew, I'm out of breath just typing them. How's a girl to resist?

Man, I feel like a bloke to go crazy over all these gadgets. Sony is just killing me with all these techno-babes! Pleaaasseeee stop!

Clubbing anyone?

2006-01-24T13:30:00.000+08:00

Whoa, it has been a few slamming, wicked weeks into the New Year and I hadn't found time to blog at all. Seems like inspirations come to me easier when people were pissing me off right, left and center. However, idiots seemed to have steered clear off my path for the past few weeks now. Please turn around and walk the other way from now on too. Thank you.

Thai Club & Bistro, KL

I'm just kicking my heels back now and trying to enjoy life to the fullest while it's still moron-free. Seems like my luck has turned around from last year. Been back into the clubbing scene since Christmas and I must say I am really amused with some of the going-ons in our local clubs. Thai Club now plays funny Ah Beng type of songs which totally sucks and Liquid is like a ghost town on a Friday night. What gives?

Zouk, yea the building that kinda resembles a giant molar, was packed last weekend for the Guiness Black Party and the people turn out in droves. 99.9% were dressed in black too! The conformity impressed me. It was like the gathering of some covert black-skimpy-outfit cult. Guiness must be really pleased.

The dance floor didn't get crowded in the Main Room till almost 11pm and I had to keep avoiding this girl who was flinging her arms around wildly like a possessed demon. Maybe it is a cult after all and this is their ritual dance to summon the rain or something.

The only 2 people I saw who stood out like sore thumbs in the crowd were these 2 girls who were dressed not in black but in bright-colored T-shirts, Bermuda shorts and slippers! I thought they were lost!! Without any make-up on too!!! Brave souls they are. Too bad I forgot to bring my Sony T5 to record down this historic moment.

Alas, I got bored with the Main Room, Velvet Underground AND The Loft. Guess I'm getting too sober for clubbing.

Bad Ass Chick's A Series of Unfortunate Events

2005-12-29T16:09:00.000+08:00

I was never a superstitious person so it seemed weird to friends when I started commenting that I am being haunted by bad lucks nowadays and to think that I was just thanking my lucky stars last month at how wonderful life had been to me lately. Christmas was approaching and everything just seemed so merry and bright. Songs and dances seemed to be the order of my days. Little did I know that it was the calm before the storm, the high before the low, the lift before the fall. Ok, so you get it the picture.

My high spirits all came crumbling down early this month when I discovered that a prized possession of mine was not worth what was paid for it. What a heart-wrenching, jaw-dropping moment that was. Never mind that, the very same night, I lost the final round of a contest which I was winning only the day before. I won a lousy T-shirt instead which was no consolation to the time and money already spent. So what if it's limited edition? Arghh!!! Two huge financial losses in a day.

A few days later, a visit to the doctor had me on medication for the next two weeks. Hopefully the nice lady doctor would tell me that I have no major health complications when I go back for a check-up next month. Still, I tried to put all negative thoughts aside to enjoy the Christmas parties I was attending. But even then, bad luck followed me wherever I went. The satays I brought was overcooked for one potluck Christmas party, rained the whole evening at another and luckily another one went by rather uneventfully.

I was trying to get tickets for King Kong and managed to actually get a booking, only to misplace the booking number. My new Sony Ericsson Z520I's camera and call-out system wasn't functioning on the very day I unwrapped the box. Two of my colleagues got the exact same phone from the exact same dealer and theirs are working fine. Good thing the SE people managed to get it fixed in like 3 hours.

My programs at work kept running into errors as the server was running out of space and I didn't get a new ID tag at work as the security team misplaced my photo when everyone else had gotten their new ID tags and so I had to sign in and out everyday, including lunch time. I have to call my other colleagues to open the door for me every time or slyly follow other people in when they do.

I was praying hard for the string of bad lucks to go away but apparently God must have had some other plans for me as I got into an accident on the way home from work 2 days ago. We were just 3 minutes away from home and a drunk driver come crashing into the side of our car as we were turning right into our housing area. The lights was green to turn right, you nincompoop!! And you have no business overtaking when it was a double-lined road and cutting in from the other side of the road too!!! The bugger dragged a motorcycle under his car for a short distance before hitting another car, both of whom were from the opposite side of the road waiting at the red lights as cars turned right from our direction.

That was the last straw! All these bad lucks in the space of 2 weeks?!! I’ve had enough! Seriously. Hope 2006 will be a better year for me. Since this will be my last posting for this year, I wish all the readers a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

P/s: If you see a girl walking with a black cloud over her head, stop and say 'Hi', it's probably me.

My Mobile Phone Ownership Evolution

2005-12-21T16:38:00.000+08:00

Looking back over the years, I realized that I was not as lucky or as rich as some people who change their mobile phones like they change their clothes. Nonetheless, I realized that I have been using quite a number of them and about to change to a new generation of phone soon.

I remember my first mobile phone purchase vividly. I was a student then, saving and skimming on expenses to buy my first Nokia 3210. I love it back then because it was one of the first few phones in the market that did not have an antenna jutting out. Also, it was rock solid. I've dropped the phone so many times from varying heights and still it was working perfectly. I remembered how I broke out in cold sweat once upon realizing that I've lost my phone. I searched high and low for it and was lucky enough to find it in the safe keeping of the librarian of the college library. Phew!

The Nokia 3210 served me well for a couple of years until I got hold of a Nokia 8210. The phone had been modified with white back lights + white casing and was SO blindingly bright that I occasionally use it as a torchlight! Hehe. Unfortunately, my 8210 was bugged with problems and I eventually got fed-up with it after too many visits to the repair shop that I trade it in for a Samsung SGH C100 not long after.

I loved the C100 for the nice colour screen and animations. Such a big difference from the dull black and white screens I had been used to seeing but then it was lacking a camera. The phone was fine except that you can't turn it off and on again. It'll definitely hang. You'll have to on and off it many many times before it will start up properly. My phone is on 24-7 but then it can get pretty frustating when sometimes you need to change the SIM card for example.

I used it for a while before I got the Sony Ericsson T630. I wanted the black-colored one but ended up with the white as black was out of stock then. Now this one has a camera, bluetooth and infrared and served me really well for the past year or so. Was pretty happy with it for a while but this too is lacking something - MP3. I guess human beings are just never satisfied, or maybe it's just me.

So yesterday, I got a Sony Ericsson Z520i. I simply love flip phones!!! So nice to just slam down the phone when I'm pissed off with the other party on the line. Somehow, pressing a button to end the call just don't do it for me. Not as dramatic. Hah! However, being the generous and filial daughter that I am (*ahem*), I am going to give this phone to my dad.

Now, I'm spoilt for choice as to what mobile phone to get next. I've never owned a really high-end mobile phone before but I figured I might as well this time around. As such, I have set my sights on 3G Smart/PDA phones. There's the Sony Ericsson P990i which I simply adore. Don't see what I can do with such a small keyboard but it's a nice touch. The Motorola A1000 is also very attractive, as are the Dopod and O2 phones. Choices, choices, choices!

Poll Question: What phone should the Bad Ass Chick get next? Vote now!

6 Pussycat Dolls, 2 Moffats and 1 Serena C

2005-12-13T14:41:00.000+08:00

The week before my Singapore trip, I was in Bangkok, The Land of Smiles. Literally went to hell to get my passport done in time so I was really happy when we finally touched down in Bangkok Airport (Immigration horror stories coming up soon). We were immediately whisked off to our hotel but the van driver got the hotel wrong as there are 2 Holiday Inns in Bangkok. Plopped down on the bed in my room as soon as I got to the right hotel in Silom and took a nice warm bubble bath. With map in hand, we took off to Siam Square and MPK using the Thai-equivalent of the LRT called the Skytrain. I found MPK to be a lot like Sg. Wang in Malaysia except that the stores there are concentrated with mobile phone sellers in one corner, goldsmiths in another and so forth.

From there, we took a tuk-tuk to the Ratchadamnoen Stadium intending to watch the famous Thai kickboxing called Muay Thai. The ride was an exhilarating one for me and scary for some with the F1 tuk-tuk driver zigzagging everywhere and even going up the other side of the road regardless of oncoming traffic. However, we were disappointed when we got there as the ringside tickets which was said to cost 1000 Baht in online and other tourist guides had escalated to 3000 Baht when we tried to make our purchase at the counter. One plan down the drain we then make our way back to the night market near Patpong. Not as huge as the night market would have been if we went to the Chatuchak Weekend Market.

There were loads of pubs featuring Thai Girl Shows or also known as Tiger Shows along the road. We went for one which costs us 300 Baht per person. No tigers, but I'm amazed at what some of these girls can do. I didn't know the female reproductive organ can smoke, blow darts/trumpets/whistle/candles/you-name-it, drink water, play ping pong, etc. For the innocent wide-eyes, I suggest you stay away as it can get pretty darn disgusting after a while. Especially when you start seeing a string of razors coming out one after another or a string or glow-in-the-dark stars.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?!"

Honestly, we got bored as the novelty wore off pretty quickly and were amusing ourselves watching the other patrons that came in. One Mat Salleh caught our attention. He was alone and was immediately swarmed with girls. It was pretty clear to us that his internal rating system of hot girls was not working properly. Bugger was happily hugging and kissing a few of them. Not long after that, we watched as one particular girl brought him to speak to an older man seated just near our table. We presumed he's the boss or pimp if you like. Lone Ranger handed him some cash and disappeared out the back door with the girl whom had changed into street clothes. One cheeky showgirl came up to us and shouted, "They're going to fuck!". Such honesty was embarassing, really.

Not 5 minutes later, the same couple walked back in. This time the guy looked upset. Went straight up to the boss and wild hand gestures punctuates every sentence he spoke which was out of earshot for us. The girl changed back into her bikini and took to the stage and poles again. After some discussion, the boss actually handed the white guy back some money. I didn't know that pimps practise a refund policy for unsatisfied customers!

The next day, we had a hearty brunch and walked a distance to the Oriental Hotel to take the Chao Phraya Express Boat. It was fun to have the sea breeze blowing the hair away from your face after the sweaty trek while the tour guide explained the various attractions we see along the river.

From left: Kimberley Wyatt, Jessica Sutta, Ashley Roberts, Nicole Scherzinger, Melody Thornton and Carmit Bachar

It poured cats and dogs as we tried to go to the Grand Palace later that day. We held umbrellas to keep from getting wet in our tuk-tuk and I was so relieved when we got to the palace. I figured there's finally some shelter from the rain. So there we were, with our jeans rolled up to our knees, boots and socks in our hands, we waded knee-high water to get to the ticket counter.

As I was in a sleeveless shirt, I had to buy a collared T-shirt to wear before I could get in. The umbrellas we're holding is pretty useless now as we're more or less all wet already. I turned behind and looked at a stream of Caucasian and Japanese tourists in similar predicaments with us wading their way into the palace wearing raincoats and holding umbrellas, all eager to find shelter. Little did we all know that the palace has many open courtyards! What a laugh!

Still, we did not regret going to the Grand Palace as it is one of the most magnificent place I've ever seen. Truly beautiful. Truly befitting their beloved royal family. Such grandeur everywhere. Damn the rain! However all is forgiven as we rushed back to change into our clubbing attire for we were to attend the Pussycat Dolls' showcase at a club called Route 66 that same night. We ended up having delicious tomyam dinner opposite the club and we got to meet the sexy ladies themselves for a photo shoot! We got to party with Serena C from Hitz.FM and even spotted 2 of The Moffatts in the crowd!! What a night to remember!!!

From left: Serena C, Moffatt 1, one of our travelling mate and Moffatt 2 (I don't know The Moffatts' names)

We got back to the hotel and decided to go to the bar for a drink as it was our last night there and it proved to be a fine decision for we were treated to a great performance by the in-house quartet who performed energetically to the latest hits. What a memorable trip indeed. I haven't had enough of Thai food so I'm definitely going back for more in the near future.

Tom Yam, here I come! *slurp*

Treasure Treasure, Where Art Thou?

2005-12-12T15:54:00.000+08:00

I was in Singapore recently to join the Singapore's Half-A-Million Ringgit Race 3 which kicked off on 21 Nov 2005 with 4 other team members. We were all working late till like 10pm on the night before, rushed home to pack our bags and off we go around 3am on Saturday. Reached one of the rest stop near the Johor-Singapore border just in time for our breakfast and the entry riddle brought us to the Raffles Country Club not far from the Tuas Second Link for the registration process.

"A premier spot for a golfing game,

That proudly sports our founder’s name.

Neighbours, look for its location,

Near the second link between two nations."

Once registered, we were all so excited and just can't wait to claim our RM100,000 or so we thought. The first clue given read like this:

"Sitting along the quiet path,

This is hardly nature's wrath,

If you strain your sights hard enough,

You might glimpse a fruit that's just so tough."

The elusive fruit had all 5 of us racing to the Esplanade building by the Marina Bay which looked like a big durian. For those of you who don't know, durian is a tropical fruit with greenish, spiky outer shell and is known as the King of Fruits. A common saying is that the durian smells like hell but tastes like heaven. It was a sight to behold at how fast the 4 of us jumped out from the car with the thought of getting to that 2nd clue and raced toward the building as the driver went to park his car. We circled 'The Durian' to no avail. Not to be discouraged so fast, we searched every quiet path or walkway around the area. Nada! We searched inside the building too, up down, left right and center, you name it! Still zero! We took a break for lunch and back to the search again.

Searching for this elusive 2nd clue brought us to not just the Esplanade but we also ended up in the Marina City Park, Merlion Park, Clifford Pier, Boat Quay, Supreme Court and City Hall, Parliament House, St. Andrew's Cathedral, Raffle's Square, Asian Civilizations Museum, Fort Canning and everywhere else in between them on FOOT! Unfortunately for our aching feet, our search still ended up fruitless (pun intended). By nightfall, we were too tired and decided to rest for the night in our hotel at Orchard Road.

After a quick shower and scrumptious dinner, my gal pal and I were off to be dazzled by the bright lights of the shopping haven as the boys headed back to our room. We're fascinated with the cozy little pubs and quaint little cafes we found tucked in small alleys and old lanes. Even as we pose for pictures along Orchard Road, we didn't stop thinking and analyzing the clue. We found meaning even on the manhole covers we saw along the road which bear pictures of various kinds of fruit! As midnight approaches, we decided to retire to bed before we lose our sanity over the damn fruit.

The next day, with our spirits renewed and bodies healed, it's off once again for the hunt. Our search on the 2nd day brought us to Raffles Hotel, Eskibar, Sentosa Island, Haw Par Villa, Kent Ridge Park and we even paid a visit to Chijmes and Villa Bali in Gilman Village for good measure. 3 of us even climbed up to a God-forsaken watch tower all to no avail. Heads dizzying from the narrow spiral staircase we were climbing, 3 of us ended up laughing our arses off as we ascended the tower. I bet not many Singaporean had even stepped foot on this tower, let alone take in the magnificent view from atop. Below is a picture taken from inside the tower itself. You can see the big durian building in the distance.

Disheartened that we didn't even manage to find one clue, we headed back to the starting point for some answers towards the end of the 2nd day. To our disgust, the clue at the starting point had been changed to now hold a very important point and that is that the location of the 2nd clue is only open from 9am to 6pm! This vital piece of information was missing from the original clue posted up on the day of our registration. Tsk tsk tsk! Till today, we're waiting to find out where the clue we had been searching for is hidden.

Still, the 2 days had been great fun with great company. Not a total loss after all. *winks*

Don't Drive If You Are Blind AND Deaf!

2005-10-25T10:43:00.000+08:00

It was early on a damp and cold morning when my boyfriend and I left the house to go to work last Thursday. Nearing a hump on the road just outside my house, a black-colored Proton Wira was stopped on top of it and we just assumed that the driver will ease over the hump in the next few seconds but as we drew nearer to the car, we realized in horror that the person at the wheel must be either sleeping or too dumb to handle a car as it was actually going backwards! We immediately sounded the honk but it fell on deaf ears as we soon heard a BANG! A nice day spoilt in that very instant! Note that we can't reverse either as there was another car following close behind us.

We stopped by the side of the road to check on the damages but the driver just proceeded to drive away as if nothing happened. We took note of the number plate. I can't see the driver though but I was quite sure I'd be able to find him or her as he or she must be someone living in the nearby apartment blocks or terrace houses. I swore to myself I'm gonna hunt him or her down if that's the last thing I'd do before I die. I just cannot let someone walk away like that from me after damaging my property and spoiling my nice morning drive. It's not about the money but my nerves need soothing. Even an apology would be nice but I needed someone to take accountability for the damages.

I couldn't believe just how easy it was to find the culprit as I spotted the black Proton Wira with the exact same number plate parked in front of a terrace house on my way home later that night. Judging from the decorations outside the house, the driver must have been an Indian. I knocked on the gate and an Indian guy came out wearing only shorts and looking bewildered. Without further ado, we asked if that is his car and when he said yes, we mentioned about the accident earlier that morning but he looked even more bewildered. Apparently, the wife is the one using the car to go to work every morning.

'Macha' trotted back inside and as we waited outside the gate, we can hear a husband who was surprised and feeling betrayed that his wife hid the accident from him and an angry and defensive wife who thought she don't have to pay when she damages other people's properties. When he finally came out from the house, he offered to pay RM50 for the very noticeable sratches to our much more expensive car's front bumper and then proceeded to very smugly ask us to report the accident to the police if we're not happy with the amount as we'd be in the wrong anyway. Said how he haven't gotten his salary for next month and how expenses are rising since it's near Deepavali, as if I would sympathise when his wife didn't even bother about MY property. Puh-lease! Only reconfirms my opinion that you're a loser, sucker!

As we bargain back and forth, the wife came out looking very much like the stupid broad that she is. She immediately when switched on her defensive mode again and very arrogantly declared that she didn't hit our car at all! The nerve. Luckily she was behind the gate else I would have gorged her eyes out! Grr!! I pointed out that she should have seen our car from the rearview mirror and hit the brakes when we honked and she replied saying she didn't hear any honking. Arrgghhhh!!! Voices started to be raised and it's apparently clear to me that she thinks she's not at fault at all for reversing into our car. Dumb bitch!

We decided to take the RM50 as arguing with these kinda morons isn't going anywhere and as no apologies were forth coming from both, I just had to rub it in a little before we left the house. I told her what a bad driver she is and how I would steer clear of the road whenever I see the same number plate again. Then I told her to look at the rearview mirror before she reverses and take note when people honks at her unless she's deaf. Oh boy, did she get upset or what! Her husband was hurrying to stuff her back into the house before it got ugly. I'm pleased now that she's pissed! Muahahaha!

Hamsap Old Fart

2005-09-20T10:12:00.000+08:00

Many have been asking when I'm gonna update my blog after such a long absence. Then, there are also people who have been asking me for movie reviews before they book tickets to the cinema ever since I shredded 'Alexander' to pieces in an earlier posting. I'm flattered really but I just don't have much time nowadays to blog. Nonetheless, I shall keep my fans (and enemies alike) happy by churning out a post or two from time to time.

Recently, I have been having problems with my SmartTag as I haven't upgraded my Touch 'n Go card to the new one and as I made a stop at their office one fine morning on my way to work, I encountered a few middle-aged men facing similar predicaments. A few small talks were going around and I just smiled and politely nodded my head now and then while giving away some non-committal replies. I was asked to fill up my particulars before the change was made for my card and that's when I noticed that one particular 'uncle' next to me was peering very intently across the glass divider down to where our forms laid.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I just assumed that he was looking at his own form but I grew wary when I noticed that this particular old geezer is suddenly very friendly towards me. As his turn was right after me, I watched as he suddenly dashed out to his Toyota Camry and that's when the bitter truth hits me. I have no doubt in my mind then that he was going to get his business card, introduce himself to me and ask for my phone number. Don’t ask me how I know, I just did.

I turned back to the teller in horror and rushed her to process my form faster but it was too late. Old geezer was happily trotting back with his business card in hand as I was about to get in my car and stopped me. To make him disappear from my sight faster as I don't intend to date people who are old enough to be my dad, I gave him my phone number which I was going to discontinue soon as I was getting myself a new number.

Uncle seemed happy with and I quickly reversed my car and sped away. He SMS-ed me a few hours later which got no reply from me. This was 2 weeks ago and yesterday I checked my old number for messages, and lo and behold, there's an SMS from his so-called secretary using his number asking to fix an appointment with me. Hmmm, wonder what the fuck he's up to.

I just don't understand this, what's with older guys and younger girls? Why do older men see us as trophies to be dangling from their arms? I bet uncle has a family waiting back at home for him and probably a mistress or two as well and now he wants yet another younger model? Totally despicable!

Friendly or too friendly?

2005-07-29T14:12:00.000+08:00

I have been working for about 1 month plus now in a new company. Gotten friendly with some fellas while a few wankers remained aloof even when I make the effort to be friends. However, last week I was flabbergasted when I checked my company's email inbox. Screaming out from the list was an email addressed to me by a new colleague I had barely spoken 10 words to. Just had a brief exchange of hellos, names and departments with him the week before. We're from different departments and located on different floors. The contents of the email goes like this (with names omitted to protect the innocent) :

This is the same nerdy guy who sheepishly slipped me his personal contact number a few days before or after the email. I don't remember which one now. Yo dude! What do you mean my head looked luminous?! Like I have a halo over it? What the hell is up with the Feng Shui thingy? And what's with the truth? What truth? Obviously I emailed back and demanded for a satisfactory explanation but he just lied saying he had forgotten why he wrote that in the first place. Yea right! Like how you forget to wash your hands for dinner after you've sticked it in your ass all day?

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against being friendly. But being weird? That's another ball game altogether now. Get a life!

I'm NOT interested!!!

2005-07-19T13:46:00.000+08:00

Don’t you just hate people who are insincere? We all would have been unfortunate enough at one point or another of our lives to have met people like that. These are the long-lost friends who do not invite you for their weddings but call you up for drinks or dinners out of the blue one day because they had just forayed into the insurance or direct-selling business and are out looking for preys.

I have totally zero respect for people like these scumbags of the universe. Not only are these disillusioned fools insincere in wanting to rekindle those freezing, ice-cold, finger-numbing friendships they have with us but they have a face with the thickness unequalled even by the LENGTH of the Great Wall of China. I can smell their insincerities a mile away and it stinks!

Now even though I fully understand that they are also just trying to eke out a living, I’m unlike some nicer folks who will willingly part with their money and time with enough sweet-talking and fake smiles invested by the Agents of Filth. Don’t ever expect me to be all nice to them and get myself yet another insurance or the miracle wok which can help me become a better cook or every Stepford wife’s secret wish of a super cleaning dish washing detergent or anything else from them as a matter of fact.

Last but not least, if I hadn’t bothered with how well you have been living your life for the past century, whatever possessed you to make you think that I will be interested to contribute even an ounce of energy towards making your current career any better? Please don’t give me all that bullshit about how your product is going to help me improve my life either. It would improve automatically if you would just get the hell out of it. Thank you very much.

Top 10 Signs Your Company Sucks

2005-07-05T11:08:00.000+08:00

Top 10 signs you should be resigning from your current company:

10) Company only gives you a tight-ass 8 days of annual leave when the nationwide acceptable standard is at 14 days.

9) Official company emails or newsletters might come in Mandarin when the official language is English and the person-in-charge will tell you he’s "too busy" to translate or that his English is not good enough when you point out that there are other poor souls who do not understand Mandarin working in the same company.

8) You have to sit through a whole day training conducted in Mandarin when the facilitator clearly knows that several others in the training also do not comprehend.

7) You have to work every Saturday, not even alternate Saturday, when even government officers only work a 5-days work week now.

6) Manager sends email to call for a department meeting in half an hour’s time when he’s seated barely a few feet away from his staff.

5) Manager does not talk to you or any other of his female staff unless forced to.

4) Manager gives unintelligible answers when his staff asks him questions. Even vendors are dumbfounded by the lack of grammar or perhaps vocal chords.

3) Manager is such a cheapskate bastard that he pretends he’s invisible when it comes to paying time or that his wallet is filled with humongous rocks even when everyone have made it clear that everybody’s going Dutch on the meal.

2) Manager asks you to sign a contract which the management knows nothing about to bind you to the company for a whole year and you get to have your salaries DEDUCTED if you cannot complete a major company project in the time stipulated in the contract AND work LONGER hours EVERY FREAKING DAY except for Sundays (Remember that you already work till 1pm every Saturday).

1) Manager looks vague all the time but is actually a scheming-plotting-lying coward that cowers and pisses in his pants if he so much as having to face off with another more vocally-inclined manager from other departments, even if that manager is a teeny-weeny bit of a girl who’s no more than 4 feet tall.

Dating Life VS Working Life

2005-06-27T15:42:00.000+08:00

If you peek close enough, working life actually has many similarities with dating life. Both starts out with you checking out the potentials. Some might make you pitch a tent in your pants while a fraction of others might be less appealing than watching a snail crawl. You go for the kill and if you are lucky, you get a respond. The first interview is very much like your first date. If your date likes you, you then get to have more dates with him or her till you are actually "hired" for the job.

You start both relationships with high hopes and expectations, full of dreams, dressing your best and putting your best foot forward. You get to know the rest in the family as time goes by and over time, you might slack a bit, put on some weight or you might not. Depends how much you like what you have gotten yourself into in the first place or how well the ship you hopped on turned out to be. Breakups and job-hopping goes hand-in-hand and they're so common nowadays.

If you stick around and as the days turn into months and months into years, you'll feel that all your efforts, blood, sweat and tears should be rewarded with something more. You began seeking for increments, bonuses and promotions, much like upgrading your status from boyfriend/girlfriend to fiance/fiancee to husband/wife. A promotion would mean taking more responsibilities and more people under your wings. For married couples, this would mean having babies or even pets if you are so inclined.

It doesn't end here though. As with every relationships, we need to continually improve ourselves to keep our job or we get the boot. So, the next time you are stucked in a dead-end job or depressing relationship but too confused or lame to take remedial actions, try looking at it from a different point of view. If your dirty, lowly-paid, toilet-cleaning, no-future job is your girlfriend, wouldn't you have not hesistated to dump her on the spot or if your abusive, whiny, cheapskate of a boyfriend is your job, wouldn't you have thrown in that resignation letter in his face and spit on him for good measure long ago?

OK, enough profound thoughts in a day for me. I can only go so long without dissing another poor soul. Kidding. You think about this though. Adios!

Bang! Bang! Still Nerdy!

2005-06-21T10:16:00.000+08:00

Haven't had the time to blog lately since I just started a new job but last Saturday while wandering around inside the arcade centre of Sunway Pyramid which used to be Sega Universe with my boyfriend as we waited for the movie Batman Begins to start, I saw a guy that was just begging for some space in these pages. Ho ho ho, wish granted boy!

There he was, a nerdy looking Chinese bloke with dark-rimmed spectacles standing right smacked in the centre of the arcade shooting up the undeads. Now what strike me as odd is how he positioned himself while playing the simulation game. He was holding 2 guns, playing both the Player 1 and Player 2 and standing at least a feet away from the gun stand as if expecting the zombies to jump out from the screen and maul him anytime soon.

The next thing he did really made me laughed out loud. He suddenly crossed his hands at the wrist and starts shooting at the screen ala James Bond cum The Matrix. He then uncrosses them and continues shooting and then it happenned again. He tucked one gun under his armpit in rapid fire fashion and kept shooting with the other only to pull out the tucked gun again and shoots only to cross his hands at the wrists again all the while turning his head to the left and checking out some unknown imaginary bystanders.

This crossing-uncrossing-tucking-untucking gun slinging action cycle goes on for a good half an hour in the least and he was gaining a crowd of "fans", most of whom were standing around with bemused grins of their faces. Hard to find a guy who so unabashedly display his complete devotion to a game called The House of the Dead in front of a pool of complete strangers really. Damn entertaining I tell you.

Too bad my camera phone doesn't come with video recording functions.

Complain, If You Wanna Live Longer

2005-05-31T11:42:00.000+08:00

Just this year alone, I must have filed at least half a dozen complaints against numerous organizations. I didn't want to but they were just begging for it. How can I refuse?

Case 1:
Went for lunch with my boyfriend at this restaurant and the service was painstakingly slow. It would have been more fun to watch paint dry! Requests went unfulfilled even after several reminders. Sent a complain letter to the owner of the restaurant to voice my dissatisfaction soon after.

Case 2:
Mom bought an air-conditioning unit with a price tag of RM1450 but was charged RM1486 when she paid using credit card. I raised the issues among some friends and majority said that the merchant had a right to do so. I wasn't satisfied as most people simply spew forth bullshit without knowing any better anyway. A call to the local authorities confirmed that charging a customer more than the stipulated price even when they pay using credit cards is an offence. I happily lodge a complaint against them right there and then. The merchant should be hearing from the government boys anyday now.

Case 3:
Stopped by a local branch of Bank Bumiputra Commerce to have my address changed and realized that I forgot to bring my account number along with me. The customer service desk was empty but there was 2 officers sitting nearby. I asked for the forms to fill to change my address and politely requested if one of them could help me check my account number from the customer service's terminal but they told me to take a number and queue up. Fine. After a few minutes of waiting I realized I was running late to get back to the office and walked over to one of the Malay lady officer still sitting there and asked if I can faxed the form over after I had the account number filled in. She had forgetten her own company's fax number it seems so I again politely requested her help in looking for it. Her exact reply was 'Aiyah no need to fax la... you bring over to the office lor...'. What she is really saying is, she's a lazy bitch who's too useless to even just help look for a fax number for a customer. A phone call to the complaint department later soothed my nerves.

Case 4:
My manager had the nerves to tell our Managing Director that 3 of his staff, including me, resigned in the space of less than one year because the project we are working on is a bit too tough to handle. The fuckface was implying that we can't handle our jobs which is a TOTAL LIE! I have since emailed my MD to set the record straight, thank you very much.

Case 5:
Placed a booking for an apartment in February with LBS Bina Group Berhad's sales office's agent and didn't hear from the agent again at all after that. He promised to arrange for the bank loan but he didn't. I had to call and arrange my own loan and by that time I got it done it was already April. The bank agent told me the lawyers would call regarding signing of the S&P documents within a maximum of 3 weeks. 3 weeks passed into May and after a lot of calls to the sales office, developer and lawyers and sifting through the bullshit of the agent, I found out that the agent had done zilch since my booking was placed. A storm brought upon the director of the developer company helped me recover my booking fees and I cancelled the sales with them even when the director cheesily offered a rebate of over RM2000 if I don't cancel the sale. What?!! RM2000 and you think you can buy me over? Yea right! You should go kill yourself for being so cheap! Anyhow, I've lodged a report on them with the local authorities. Go me!!!

Interviewee VS Interviewer

2005-04-19T12:06:00.000+08:00

After my graduation I've been to my fair share of interviews. Some good, some bad while some are just downright weird.

Just like the time I spent 2 hours plus of my precious time listening to the director of this particular fucked-up company talk about his passion for flying helicopters. Bugger went on and on about how he doesn't drive when going outstation but instead will just fly here and there in his copter, showing me pictures of his kids, asking me my opinion after showing me brochures of the next helicopter he is planning to buy, etc. Like I'm SO impressed, DUH!

Then there are companies notorious for it's various tests. I've been asked to do tests which lasted 2 hours, programming tests, logic tests, numerical tests, IQ tests and every kinda tests imaginable. I mind that about as much as I mind filling up job application forms. Those are really time-wasters. I really do not see the point of telling you where I was born, you lousy piece of shit.

To be fair, I've met some really cool interviewers too. Some just waived away the need for the application forms and the need to see your certificates. One even bought me dinner while another bought me drinks over the interview process. Not that I am a freeloader, mind you. I didn't threaten to pull a 'bobbitt' job on them if they didn't do so either. Guess some people are simply nicer than others.

Boo! I see you!

2005-03-25T17:01:00.000+08:00

You know how people always say that our dreams are sort of like an extension of our subconscious mind? Well, I dunno what's lurking in mine, but the other day, I dreamt that a female ghost was sleeping right next to me!

In the dream, I was sleeping as usual on my single bed in my bedroom when I suddenly woke up for no reason and turn to look to my left. Lo and behold! A stranger, whom my gut feeling tells me is undoubtedly and definitely a ghost, was inches away from me. *Gulp* She has shoulder length hair, dark complexion, around her early 30s, not bad looking too I might add (Hehe!) and was wearing a batik-print dress. She was sleeping on her right side and staring at me. Needless to say, I screamed but no voice came out.

Then the most amazing thing happenned. I raised a finger and poke her right at her shoulder blade! I didn't know I have the nerves to poke a ghost who has taken a liking to my bed before. Anyway, as if having a ghost for a bedmate wasn't scary enough, she actually smiled at me when I poked her! She gave me this devilish grin that tells me she's up to no good. *Faint* I opened my mouth to scream again and I then noticed that my mom was sleeping on my right side. This is physically impossible on my single bed and besides, I sleep alone in real life.

Nevermind that, I tried to wake my mom up but she was oblivious to my fate. Not giving up, I pulled her hand and made her touch the ghost stationed next to me and her hand went right through the blasted thing. At that point, all hell break loose as I was screaming so loudly I woke myself up.

What a dream! I'd never forget that smile!

Freeloader Superstar

2005-02-16T14:48:00.000+08:00

I was watching Alan Tam's and Hacken Lee's concert on TV while waiting for my mom to get ready during the recent holiday. Duo was happily prancing around on stage and the mob crowd was flattening one another in an attempt to shake their hands. Actually more like slapping hands but who cares? It's a bacteria-infested-2-seconds touch from the stars after all.

Nothing very interesting and I was about to change the channel when I saw that not only are the crowd waving their hands in their feeble attempts to come in contact with the stars, they are frantically waving 'ang pows' (red packets with money giving out by the Chinese during the 15 days of Chinese New Year).

Hacken: "I'm not talking to a cheapo!"

I watched with amusement as these people eagerly offer the ang pows to the two in return for a brief contact. What a bunch of losers! Not only are they making the already rich duo richer from attending the not-so-cheap concert but they are giving them more money! What a life! It's good to be a superstar.

Of course, it's their money and some ang pows are probably empty or just filled with a piece of red paper for good luck for all we know but what disgust me is how Alam Tam went around collecting them with glee. He even had a huge slingbag like the ones favored by schoolgirls strapped across the shoulder! The guy has no shame! Hacken Lee was much better, at least he looked suitably grateful for the nice gestures from his fans and he didn't walk around singing with a huge pink slingbag with bling-bling.

What's with the big bag Alan? Shame on you!

Porridge Guy

2005-01-31T10:46:00.000+08:00

Now this posting is purely to update those of you have been unfortunate enough to be fascinated with freaky Date No. 1 after reading my Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon posting a few months back.

Well, ever since the porridge stint, I haven't heard or seen Mr. Porridge Guy except for the occasional SMS. I've noticed that he always SMS me on the weekends. He's partial to Saturday/Sunday morning SMSs. A typical SMS goes like this, "The weather is hot, drink more water" or "Drink more water, the weather is hot" or some variations to that effect. So duh!!

If it's not about the weather or water, then it'll be some corny forwarded SMS with the typical ASCII bear which I promptly delete upon receival. Wasting space on my inbox really. The guy's SO creative, SO original! NOT! Someone need to learn that he's not going to get a girl from weather+water SMSs and forwarded SMSs which countless others have received before. I'm not easy to impress.

Recently he SMS-ed telling me he just got back from a business trip in Hong Kong (which I doubt) and that he wants to meet me to give me a Christmas present which he bought there. Not interested!! I was paranoid for a while. Worried that he might show up outside my bedroom window again at night with Christmas present in one hand and heaven forbids, porridge in the other.

He still claims eternal love and profess everlasting adoration for yours truly even after 3 long, unsuccessful years. Not a quitter this one. A few days ago, I discovered that someone had been cutting little pieces out of my new Hush Puppies cotton panties from the clothing line again (click here for related story). Hmm, could it be the whack job at work?

Hypocrites Are Abound

2005-01-03T15:08:00.000+08:00

Take a good look at the mug shots of the four old schmucks standing next to a big mock cheque donating money to the recent tsunami victims below taken from a local newspaper on Wednesday, 29th December, 2004. Now, what exactly that you find disturbing about that picture? Nothing you say? Nice suits... nice ties... they are doing their bit in society by donating money to help the tsunami victims... don't look too pervy. Eckkk, wrong. All wrong. They look like Star Trek ambassadors-wannabes with the 'visors' on? Haha, close but eckkk, you missed again.

"Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"

Did you not see the huge smirks on their faces???! I flipped the papers and see many other similar pictures. Company directors, managing directors, CEOs, chairmans, etc presenting big mock cheques to charity organisations while sporting the same stupid grins. Talk about being unappropriate and why the fuck would you need to present your donation in such a fashion other than to promote your company? Wipe those stupid grins out of your faces, you despicable pissheads! 140,000 people have perished as of today and you are so happy about it huh? "Deepest condolences and sympathies" my foot! Scumbags!

Likewise, I was watching the news report on the tsunami disaster on television the other day and it totally disgust me to see how some politicians were grinning from ear to ear as they slipped in some money into the donation box while posing for the cameras. A small polite smile might still be acceptable but grinning and laughing???! That's just totally unappropriate when so many people have died! Why don't you put up the 'V' sign while you are at it, dumbass?! I really wanna award them with two tight slaps! I hope people spit on their graves when they kick the bucket. Heck, throw a party at their expense!

Same goes for the countless companies who are using the gimmick of offering a 'portion' of their sales to the tsunami aid funds. If you qenuinely want to help, why not offer 'all' the proceeds from your sales? What's a little dip in profit to feed a hungry, homeless, orphan child? As for the dipshits who bought from these companies under the pretext of doing so for charity, why don't you skip buying the product altogether and donate all that money to charity instead? Do you really need that extra shirt, shoes, sofa, dildo?

I think all of them should be thrown into jail for not practising basic decency and made to share a bunk bed with a huge, dirty, unshaven gay cellmate with a pension for nipples-biting and balls-gnawing. See how they smile then.

Tsunami Disaster

2004-12-30T15:04:00.000+08:00

When I first heard the news about the tragedy on Monday morning, tears welled up in my eyes as what happened when I first heard the news of 911 on the radio in the year 2001. Over the next few days, my heart sank as the death toll rises. My holiday mood is dampened each time the figure climbs. The Grim Reaper has been keeping himself busy.

It is not suprising to hear people from all walks of life talking about it in office, restaurants, pubs, schools, cafes and what-have-yous. Therefore, when the topic came up during my lunch break today, I was seeing red when I heard this most insensitive comment on the matter from a numbskull, "People died. So what?". He isn't joking either.

My immediate reaction was to put down my chopsticks, give him the famous Scorpion death stare and as calmly as I can, said, "Well, that's easy for you to say!!! None of your loved ones are involved in the tragedy!!! If your family and friends are now dead or lying with some serious injuries in the hospital beds from the tsunami tragedy then you wouldn't be saying 'So what?' anymore!!!"

The air was still as I waited for a response. Silence. My boyfriend sensing the tension in the air rubbed my arm and tried to diffuse the situation with some kind words. Now what irks me about people like the useless sack of wine I call a colleague is that they simply shoots off without thinking. Their little, tiny, itsy-bitsy grey matter tells them that making such remarks makes them appear detached and cool about the whole situation. Well, I got news for you mister, it just slammed a big L on your forehead.

Same goes for the other puny-brained masses who blindly forward emails with pictures and video recordings of the tragedy. Instead of wasting bandwidth and time, why don't you maggots make good use of those fingers and clicked some money into the disaster funds set up all over the world now? For those of you in Malaysia, you can help through various means. Divert your attention here from the porn and stupid jokes in your inbox for a while to help when it really matters.

I know I've done my part. Have you?

Weirdness is a Disease

2004-12-21T13:37:00.000+08:00

Is it just me or is the world filled with weirdos lurking in every little nook and corner? To further prove my point that weirdness is very much alive and kicking this part of town, I've compile a little list of the strange encounters I've had lately.

Wednesday, 15th December 2004, 8:35pm

Sitting down and enjoying my dinner, a Chinese family with the mom and dad and their 4 little princesses was shown to the table next to mine. Imagine my suprise when one of the little girls propped down right next to me and and clinged on for dear life. Being in a good mood then, I patted her head and nodded and smiled to the embarassed parents. But then throughout the dinner, the little girl asked me stuff about my handbag, my cutleries, etc. She even tried pinching me a few times but was unsuccessful! The mom eventually had to switch places with her so that I can have my dinner in peace. Little Ms High-Strung found her next victim in the couple seated on her other side of the table. Well, at least it's not me anymore.

Saturday, 18th of December 2004, 5:50pm

Returning from the beach after a fun dip in the sea, I was trying to shower off the sand on my feet when horrors greeted me in the form of a Malay woman dressed in a 'baju kurung' under the said shower happily washing a pair of pink-colored underwear. Yucks yucks yucks!!! To top it off, several bystanders were grinning away upon seeing the disgusted look I had on my face. Ignorant sick village bastards!

Monday, 20th December 2004, 12:55pm

Going up the escalator in a hypermarket, I saw a Malay woman with a small kid up ahead of me. Suddenly she just threw down a pair of shoes to the floor below. However, she and the kid still had their shoes on. Strange, but true.

Tuesday, 21st December 2004, 1:20pm

Heard from my friends that an imbecilic couple whom I had the misfortune of knowing in the past are asking them to join in for a Japanase-style dinner for Christmas this year. One isn't going for he still wants his turkey while another just giggled herself silly. Now who died and made Santa a Jap? Rudolpo eato sushi???

So, question is, are you infected?

Man Boobs and Protuding Nipples

2004-12-14T10:10:00.000+08:00

In one of the Seinfeld episodes, The Doorman, George and Kramer were horrified to discover that George's father had man boobs :

GEORGE : My father opened his shirt...

JERRY: Yeah, and?

GEORGE: Tell him, Kramer.

KRAMER: He had breasts.

JERRY: What d'you mean, breasts?

GEORGE: Big breasts!

JERRY: So what? A lot of older men have that.

KRAMER: No, not these. These were real hooters.

GEORGE: I was throwing up all night. It was like my own personal Crying Game.

I didn't think much of it until a few weeks earlier, I saw a guy with not big jugs but extreme, protuding nipples! It was poking out shamelessly from his chest to his T-shirt and landed on my line of sight nearly blinding me. Holy cow! The two mini-towers must have been at approximately 1cm long each! Pornstars around the world are shamed by this discovery. Tsk tsk tsk.

His friends and him were seated right next to my table and he was parading his tits around the whole night. I checked the temperature and decided that it wasn't that cold in the deli that night to make them stand so upright. I bet one can even hang a picture frame on them, quite securely too I might add.

So perhaps Kramer's invention called 'The Bro' or 'The Manssiere' in the episode is mandatory for these men to keep their uhm, assets, safe from public viewing and help hapless souls like me and George keep their food down longer.

The 'Old' Hello Kitty Invasion

2004-12-09T10:37:00.000+08:00

Is pink the new black?

I was having lunch inside this restaurant when I caught sight of someone wearing a cheerful-bumble-gum-pink baby tee with bold "I LOVE PINK" letters in print. She was also wearing pink lipstick and carrying a bright pink bag with matching pink color shoes to boot. Now you'd be forgiven if you picture a sweet, albeit brainwashed-by-Mattel little girl but this Hello Kitty species was a middle-aged cat with a perpetual scowl in need of a tummy tuck.

Feeling nauseous, I left the restaurant not long after that for a bit of fresh air and stopped for a drink inside another eatery with my friends later that same day only to find another woman in pink. This lollipop was even wrapped in pink. She had a pink shawl around her pink dress in a shopping mall. Is pink prescribed for menopausal women or what?

I think pink is a sweet color on little girls and maybe even young women but grandmothers dressing up like Barbie dolls from their greying head of hairs to their wrinkly toes just won't do. It's scary shit. You girls need to learn not to shop where your grandchildren does. Pretty in pink only applies when you are still receiving Hello Kitty toys and not when you are giving them away.

Go home ladies, change your outfit before Kent sues you for aging his beloved Barbie.

Movie Review - 'Alexander'

2004-11-30T15:49:00.001+08:00

Went into the cinema with rather high expectations on the movie after watching 'Troy' earlier this year, which by the way was just superb, and came out cursing like a pirate for this has got to be the shittiest movie I've watched this year (if you don't count Japanese/Korean horror flicks)! The first words I uttered when the show ended was, "What the fuck?!"

I mean, there's nothing great about the whole show. None. Zilch. Na-da. In fact, the whole movie is one bloody gay fest! And I wasted 10 bucks on that? Man, I can never forgive myself. I think I need to fry my brains out after this to completely and utterly wipe out any memory of having watch the show.

"I'm SO gay, gay IS me"

I have nothing against gays but I thought it was queer (pun intended) when I saw that Colin Farrell is taking the lead. I doubt he can pull it through and I was right. I bet he gets lots of fan mails from gays nowadays and lots more hate mails from the faggot-haters. And to think that he might be the next in line to play James Bond? Has the world gone blind?

"Can someone take my other eye out?"

To all parents out there, never ever bring your young son to watch this movie. He might just grow up thinking that dressing like a woman, having male lovers, wearing mascara and tacky gold jewellery are just about the coolest things a guy could ever do. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Lastly, can someone please tell pervy Collie he looks ugly with blonde hair?

Of Silent Ts and Noisy Ys

2004-11-24T10:10:00.000+08:00

Either some people are just plain dumb and can't pronounce words properly or their teachers did a very bad job at teaching them the basics.

I go around hearing people pronounce 'Streamyx' as 'steem-X' when it really should be 'streem-iks'. What happened to the 'Y' in 'Streamyx'? Did you swallowed it? Come on, spit it out dude! I hear 'Y's are not good for digestion. No wonder you constantly look constipated. I hope you start shitting corks soon.

Now what's the deal with pronouncing 'Chevrolet' as 'shair-vro-LET'? The 'T' here is silent along with those in 'bouquet' and 'croquet'. It's 'chev-vro-lay' you dumbass! If you don't even know that then spare the world the pain by calling it 'Chevy'. Oh by the way, that's pronounced as 'chev-vee'.

I bet these are the very same people who drive their ShairvroleT-mobile to shop in 'kair-fawr' and 'kaar-fawr' and God forbid 'carry-4' when they really should be in 'Carrefour' as in 'kaar-foo'. For the uninitiated, 'Carrefour' actually comes from French.

More than one of their daughters who wait on tables have insisted that escargot as in 'es-kaar-go' is not in the menu and that I change my order to 'es-kar-GOT'. Excuse miss, I think the S car had gone and you should go with it. 'S' for sucker!

Now, I can list down many other mispronounced words but I won't. Many here may argue that who cares whether the pronounciation is right or wrong as long as people understand what they are trying to say. I say I'd give you that provided that they are gracious enough to accept it when corrected and not try to drag me down to their dark-slimy-mispronouncing-city.

Ugliest Automobile Award 2004

2004-11-18T09:38:00.001+08:00

The Bad Ass Chick's Ugliest Automobile Award 2004 goes to ... *drum rolling* ... PROTON JUARA!!! (Juara means 'champion' in English. Yea, champion in the ugly department alright.)

The first time I saw the Juara on the road, I nearly keeled over from hysterical laughter at how good-taste-challenged the designers at Proton have come to be and how they can let a giant matchstick box out loose on the road like that?!! A million cigarettes and other flameable things are cowering in fear as I type.

Many things have been said about the Juara. Some says it looks like a modern funeral van while some says it looks like the WW2's German medical truck. It still looks like a giant matchstick box to me but one thing's for certain, everyone from the pimply, blonde-haired teenage VCD seller boy to the pot-bellied, peg-legged, speech-impaired, gap-toothed, one-eyed, misguided pirate wannabe agrees that it's the shittiest automobile they are unfortunate enough to ever lay eyes on.

The Ugliest Automobile Ever

Just look at that piece of junk. Just look at it. Ok, stop. That's enough. This blogger WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE if your eyeballs should decide to spontaneously combust while you are looking which makes me wonder whatever possessed the buyers to burn their money on that pile of scrap metal? It's not even cheap! I can think of many other less ugly but more satisfying ways to spend RM50K on such as hiring a few 'retrenched' VCD sellers to rearrange the faces of any dipshits who piss me off. Guess they must have had their heads so far up their asses that the Juara began to look like the Lamborghini and Sammy Vellu's hair piece began to look like real hair. Guess when it's dark and stinky, anything goes.

I wonder how many avoidable accidents the vehicle had caused from having other drivers gouging their eyes out each time this shit-mobile enters their view perimeters.

Spook My Ass

2004-11-08T09:36:00.000+08:00

The recent release of the movie 'The Grudge' brought back painful memories of how thoroughly boring but unbelievably funny Japanese and Korean horror movies can be.

I remember my first excrutiating brush with the Japanese underworld from the movie 'Dark Water'. A friend and I had met up after work and chose the huge and mostly empty Rex cinema right smack in the heart of Kuala Lumpur, next to Petaling Street to get spooked. Gonna be spookier there or so we thought. As it turned out, we were two out of about less than a dozen people in the cinema that night. Not 10 minutes into the show and I turned to my friend and asked him whether we're watching a horror movie or a Japanese soap opera. We almost fell asleep in the cinema. The only bright moment was a particular scene where the little girl ghost knocked from inside the water tank. I think the gangsters manning the myriad stalls in Petaling Street are actually more scary, especially the way they try to rip you off. Deadly, I tell you!

Next, I place my bet on 'The Ring'. A few friends and I were staying overnight in the Heritage Hotel at Cameron Highlands and we thought it'd be nice to get spooked after a few drinks in that little chilly holiday spot. All of us piled into bed with all the lights off, some hiding under the blanket from the numbing cold, some from the anticipation of a good scare. I was kind of skeptical after the above-mentioned movie but watched anyway. One by one my friends started dozing off and I was the only one sitting there drumming my fingers on the bed, getting impatient. Where's the ghost? I nearly go mad with laughter when I saw the damn thing crawling out from inside the television screen in the movie! Talk about being lame!

That was the last I had to endure until a new colleague from another department cornered me and pressed 'Ju-on' into my hands and made me promise him I'd watched it. Okay, that was a bit weird since we hardly exchanged 10 words since he joined the company but what the heck I thought. I'd give it the benefit of the doubt. Boy, what a mistake! The crawling ghost down the stairs was the single most hysterical scene I've even seen in a horror movie! Hahahahahahahaha! I'm laughing now as I recalled the scene in my mind. Tears are coming out of my eyes as I type! Oh no, I'm gasping for breath over here, someone stop making FUNNY horror movies, please!!!

Enough is enough, I'd never watch another Japanese horror movie again, ever! Wait, maybe I will, just to laugh my head off! Hmmm, I wonder whether the recent Korean and Thai horror flicks are any better?

My First Major Automobile Accident

2004-10-19T14:51:00.000+08:00

Date :: Friday, 15th October 2004

Time :: 8:15AM
Venue :: Silk Highway, Kajang

I was cruising along at about 120km/h on a straight stretch of road on the fastlane when all of a sudden my steering wheel turned to the left on its own in my very hands. It was very freaky! Almost like someone else driving the car for me! I tried to brake but it was too late to avoid a collision with a Toyota Camry in the middle lane. Sorry buddy. Just wasn't your day, or mine either for that matter. *sniggers*

I tried to slow down after the collision and move the steering wheel back to the original position but it was just totally out of control. My car swerved left and right on the highway bumping me along in it until it actually flipped over on its right side. Luckily for me, it flipped back and managed to stop in time when I pulled the handbrake else I'd be one with the wall divider now. Sounds just like the car chase scenes in the movies ya? Go me!

I was stunned when the accident happened and I couldn't get out from the car as the door was jammed. I was just sitting there calmly calling for help though my hands were shaking. A police patrol car happened to be behind the Camry and they saw the whole thing. One of the man in blue had to help me out by yanking the door free. What a rollercoaster ride to start off the weekend...

Time :: 10:00AM
Venue :: Kajang Police Station

Finished lodging my police report and was about to rattled on about what happened earlier for the hundreth time that day to the police sergeant when all of a sudden I was blown away with "Do you have a boyfriend?" from the guy from my insurance company's panel workshop who had followed me to the station and again with "Are you married?" from the sergeant. My exact retort was, "Does it have anything to do with the accident case whether I have a boyfriend or not or whether I am married? Do I get a compound for it if I'm attached and get away scot free if I am not?". That helped us get down to business.

Time :: 11:00AM
Venue :: Car workshop, Balakong

Bid farewell to my beloved ride which is being towed there and will be there for the next 2-3 weeks or so for a total makeover. Front left and right bumper are goners, oil's leaking out from the gearbox, driver side window and small right side back window are totally smashed with some pieces of them stucked to my legs, right side rear mirror is in powder form while the entire right side of the car is totally scratched from when the car turned on its side earlier.

Time :: 1:00PM
Venue :: Kajang Medical Centre

Sat there in pain looking at 4 big ass fish sucking in pebbles from the bottom of their aquarium and then spitting them out over and over again for an hour while waiting for the doctor to come back from his lunch, probably at the next door 'mamak' stall trying to sound more inteligent than he really is as he tried to make the waiters addressed him as 'loctor' and making sure it's within earshot of every fucking fly buzzing around. If I thought I was going to die or be badly injured while I was being bumped around in the car earlier, I really wish I'd just drop dead then. If it helps, I was already bloodied at some places.

When It Rains, It Pours

2004-10-07T09:56:00.000+08:00

A few months ago, i broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years plus on the night of my very first day at work at a new job which I really like. As if coping with a breakup is not hard enough in a new workplace in a new environment with new workmates, people around me are just bent on pissing me off left, right and center! Grrr!

My new company asked me to open a bank account with this particular bank so they could bank in my salary there and I found out that this bank has service centers in shopping malls which open till night time. Therefore, I trotted off to one of the bank's service center in a mall I pass by on my way home. As luck would have it, the mall's carpark was full to the brim that evening. I had to round the carpark for about a dozen times before I found a spot.

So there I was storming my way into the bank. Got the papers, filled them up and dutifully took to the queue to have my bank account opened up. When it was my turn, the clerk told me that I can't open an account there because I neither work or live in that area. According to them, I have to open the account at a branch nearby my office or my house. It's a new stupid rule, so I noticed.

Nevermind, the following Monday, this hothead headed off to another service center nearby my office only to discover their printer not working. The guy even had the cheek to tell me that the technician had been trying to fix the damn thing since morning. And not just one but both the service center's printers are out meaning they can't open the bank account for me cause they can't print the passbook for me. Just my luck. Super!

Since I was there anyway, I asked the guy to check on the various forms his colleagues at the other service center had me filled up. Here comes the best part. He takes one look at the various papers, turned to his colleague and asked him, 'Hey, have you seen these before?'. He then told me that some of the forms I had filled up earlier was unneccessary and that I have to fill up some 'other' forms! Arrghhh! I nearly self-combust when I heard that. You mean you had me filling up all those useless, needless forms and your fucking bank's service centers don't even practise the same standard forms? Excellent!

As I was driving my car out from the mall's carpark later, I turned into this one way lane and this woman in a continental car was going the wrong way. Pissed off as I was then, I was actually nice enough to reverse to let her through and guess what I got in return? As this stupid Indian bitch passed my car, she stoppped, turned to look at me and showed me 'The Hand'! It's the same signal one gives to say 'poodah' or 'get lost' in Tamil. At that point in time, I totally snapped. The nerve of her! I swear if I wasn't so dumbfounded at how rude she was, I would have dragged her out of her car and shoved a rusty pipe up her stinking arse!!!

I was positively seething with anger then only to discover that I forgot to pay for the parking ticket at the machine and I had to park my car, get down and walk all the way to the machine only to have the machine eat my money! I had to pay 2 bucks for a 1 buck parking ticket. In my rage, I must have kicked and screamed at the machine. I don't even give a damn who might looking at me anymore.

The remainder of the day saw me picking up a call from a friend whom I had not heard from for ages who just had the honor of hearing me spew out profanities into the phone so fast and furious he was rendered speechless as I finally made my way out of the blasted carpark all ready to mow down anyone and anything who dares to slow me down on my way home. I'm surprised I didn't leave behind a trail of dead bodies and mangled cars on the highway that day. It would have been a very sweet consolation.

Last but not least, as the icing on the cake, I discovered that 4 of my bras were stolen and probably the same perverted sick mind also own the hands that deliberately cut my panties and thongs which were left outside the apartment to dry with scissors. Don't you just envy my life?

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

2004-08-24T14:59:00.000+08:00

Back in the local dating scene after being single again after what seems like eons, I notice that some Malaysian men are more desperate than a gasping catfish out of the water. Let me highlight to you some of the usual suspects that has been hot on pursue after learning that I'm back in the market (bear in mind that these are just some of the guys who's been asking me out in the space of just one freaking week):

Date No. 1:
Now here's a real piece of work. Met him quite innocently during a party. I was already in a serious relationship then but he was very persistent in his pursuit so much so that he was a fart away from stalking. Tried wooing me in countless ways for the past 2 years but was unsuccessful so naturally he was elated to learn that I was single again lately. This award winning creep showed up unexpectedly outside my apartment at 12 midnight twice, once while wearing a suit! The other time he showed up with porridge in hand. Who the hell eats poriddge at 12 midnight?!!

Date No. 2:
This guy has been a friend for sometime. Sensed that he was interested when we first met but he backed off upon learning that I was with someone. Never kept in touch much after that and now all of a sudden he wants to be my new best friend! Now this is what I call 'crouching-tiger-hidden-dragon' act. These 'buayas' pounced once you are back on the shelf! A month ago they don't even bother to call and say 'Hi' and now they are ever so concerned. How very sincere!

Date No. 3:
Another one who have had his fist up his ass for so long he's beginning to enjoy it. Has a long time girlfriend but kept pestering me for dates. Whatever happen to monogamy?

Date No. 4:
This is a real sweetie pie. In fact, he's a human dinosaur on the verge of extinction. Gentlemanly and chivalrous to a fault. I can't believe a bad ass chick like me can bag such a blue ribbon species. Oh yea, I'm good!! *grins*

Date No. 5:
Another crouching tiger, hidden dragon. Been after me for as long as I can remember and when he failed, he waited at the sideline all these while pretending to be a good 'brother' to me. Wasn't too long after the breakup before he pounced! *sigh* Such predictability bores me really!

The Ugly Malaysians

2004-05-31T14:49:00.000+08:00

I've encountered so many the past couple of days I just had to let out some steam:

Case #1:
While waiting in line for my food order, I didn't realize that a girl next to me had already lay claim to a tray in front of us by putting a small cup of chillies on it and I happened to put my chopsticks in the same tray without realizing that as someone was busy talking to me. The next thing I knew she said very rudely, "Miss, lee kor tray hai lei geh meh?!! (Miss, this tray is yours meh?!!)". I apologized and said I didn't realize the tray is hers. She in turn rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. Wah lau eh, she could have just pointed out my mistake without sounding SO rude.

Case #2:
My mom bought a sweater from this shop without realizing there's a small hole somewhere on the back. When she took it back about 20 minutes later and asked whether she can change to a new sweater or another item with the same price, the lady owner just shouted from the back of the shop that it's our mistake that we didn't check the sweater roperly before buying it and we can't change to a new sweater or another item of the same price. Can she do that? She's selling defective items!

Case #3:
My dad stopped his vehicle to let a car make his right turn first before proceeding and instead of showing gratitude, he showed the middle finger to my dad while the gf/wife sat beside him!

Case #4:
My colleague was making a U-turn and out of nowhere this motorcyclist appeared and banged straight into my colleague's car. What I don't get is, while the motorcyclist was apologetic as he was also at fault, some of the passer-bys on that road rolled down their windows, shouted and scolded my friend for the accident as they passed by. It isn't even their problem!

I just don't get it! Why do people behave this way? Malaysia Boleh!!!

Wannabes and Show-offs Make Me Sick!

2004-05-26T13:28:00.000+08:00

Did you ever notice that lotsa Malaysians are wannabes and show-offs?

Just the other, I was standing in line behind a couple of fat-ass Malay ladies in Midvalley when a female friend of theirs who came late joined them in the queue. I was watching with amusement as they embrace each other in greetings than proceeded to *muakss muakss* each other in the cheeks as seen on tv. Now, I wonder if they do that each time they meet or just when there's a lot of people around watching? What happened to the Moslem way of greeting where they 'bersalam'? However, I did notice that they didn't pull the same *muakss muakss* stunt when a male friend joined them. What a bunch of hypocrites!

Then what about those Indian boys that like to dress up like they're a bunch of African Americans? The Petronas advert sometime ago is spot-on about them. I know of an Indian guy whose name is Anand Sebastian but he'd be embarassed when he's called Anand and insist on the more glamor name of Seb! Puh-lease! If your name is Muthusamy a/l Balasundram then by all means be proud of it and say your name is Muthusamy a/l Balasundram and not Sam or whatever-shit-you-come-up-with-because-you-are-too-embarassed-with-your-birth-given-name! People like these disgust me! Reshmonu is the perfect poster boy for these bunch of posers!

I've also noticed how slightly (almost negligible) above average looking Indian girls act like they're God's gift to the world. They walk with their noses up in the air that is just begging me to give them a piece of my mind. I can find thousands other women who's better looking faster than you can say 'Bitch!'. Maybe only the bird-brained Sebs and Sams above might want to get in their pants but I wouldn't care to look twice at girls like that.

Some Chinese girls didn't fare much better either. I saw one young girl in some weird set-up complete with ponytails and white knee-highs like she just popped out from some Japanese teen magazine along Jalan Imbi recently. Can't you people have more personality rather than just following trends blindly? She looked as out of place as my booted foot up her arse! Oh wait - that would actually look more appropriate because she looked simply ridiculous!

Secret Diaries of Gullible People III

2004-01-22T11:25:00.000+08:00

The Very Secret Diary of Mo Wan Lun: (courtesy of Dafthamsta)

Day 1: Dirt poor, owe Tai Kor Seng money and threatened with gay rape if I don’t pay up soon. Pervy backside-fancier Ah Seng, always pretending to be macho, but we all know he’s gay. Will start cult to fleece unsuspecting victims so I can pay Ah Seng back.

Day 2: Got 20 dumbos to sign up for Green Dragon Cult. I say they’re dumb coz 10 thought that the cult is about mahjong, 3 asked about feng shui and the rest thought they were joining a Dragon boat team. Told them to fuck their way to heaven.

Day 3: Total number of customers: 80. Not bad. State of finances: Good. Can pay Ah Seng back soon. Yayy! Go me!

Day 40: Finally paid Ah Seng off. He was pouting coz he probably can’t shag me in the bum, the pervy backside-fancier. Saw him nancing around with one of the girls just now, talking about how good he looks with blusher. Reluctantly gave him 10% discount card if he ever wants to patronize Green Dragon. As if he’d get it on with a chick.

Day 60: Total number of customers: 100. Go me! Gullible Girls getting edgy… kept asking about when they’re going to heaven. Told them to sleep with more men before they can reach their heavenly quota.

Day 107: Got busted by cops. Stupid cops. Gullible Girls finally agreed when cute cop told them something about seeing St Peter at the local courthouse. Love cute men in uniform, especially when he snapped the cuffs on me.

Secret Diaries of Gullible People II

2004-01-22T11:24:00.000+08:00

The Very Secret Diaries of Cute Butt Cop:

Day 1: Met my new superior today. Pervy old man kept staring at my granite butt.

Day 2: Noticed am the cop with the cutest butt around. Pervy superior so obviously wants to shag me. Will hold out longer.

Day 3: Keep getting hit on by my colleagues left, right and center. Can`t cope.

Day 5: Assigned to work the Green Dragon Cult case. Men can be SO silly. Why wanna shag a girl when they can have guys? Men! Can never understand them.

Day 12: Been tailing Mo Wai-Lun. Had to resist urge to tell him that green is SO not his color and big gold chains and watch looks SO tacky!

Day 20: Green Dragon Cult busted. Girls can be even sillier! Mo Wai-Lun kept on placing handcuffed hands on my lap during the ride back to the police station. Kinda liked it actually.

Day 22: Mo Wai-Lun was sent to prison. So sad to see him leave. Will go see if pervy superior is free tonight.

Secret Diaries of Gullible People

2004-01-22T11:21:00.000+08:00

If some of you haven't noticed already, I'm a big fan of LOTR. The news report below had prompted me to write a Secret Diaries ala LOTR of the gullible people involved.

The Secret Diaries of Gullible Women #1:

Day 1: Bored out of my skull. No purpose in life.

Day 2: Met a very nice guy named Mo Wan-Lun. Runs a cult or something.

Day 3: Joined Green Dragon Temple cult. Met a lot of similar minded souls there. Even got T-shirt that says "Green Dragon Temple". Nice!

Day 4: Told to fu.ck my way to heaven. Sounds like a good deal to me.

Day 5: Number of men slept with : Eight. Not in heaven.

Day 6: Number of men slept with : Eleven. Still not in heaven. . . .

Day 20: Number of men slept with : Fifteen. Not even close to heaven. . . .

Day 100: Number of men slept with : Twenty. Am losing sight of heaven.

Day 107: Got busted. Cops SO silly!

Promised Heaven, but Given Hell

2004-01-22T11:16:00.000+08:00

This is a news report I copied from the online version of the Malaysian 'The Star' newspaper, dated 16 January 2004.

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HONG KONG: A cult here lured women into working as prostitutes by promising them places in heaven if they slept with enough men, a news report said yesterday. Women snared by the cult had to work 12 hours a day having s3x with at least 10 men, according to the South China Morning Post. All their money went to the Green Dragon Temple Cult which promised them a place in heaven once they earned HK$500,000 (RM243,000). The cult told the women it recruited they would become goddesses when the world ended once they had entered heaven, the newspaper said. Police were yesterday hunting the alleged cult leader Mo Wan-lun and five other men after the arrest of three cult members, a woman and two men, on Monday. Five women aged between 20 and 40 working for the cult in brothels in Hong Kong's red light districts were rescued. – dpa

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I seriously don't understand how people can be SO gullible! This probably took place during the rescue:

Police Office: *bursting through the door* Don't worry maam, you're in safe hands now.

Gullible Woman#1: *confused look* You're God?

PO: No, maam. I'm a Hong Kong Wong Kar Keng Chak (Police Officer). I'm here to rescue you.

GW: Rescue me? But I'm halfway to heaven! Mo Wan-Lun already 'chup' (reserve) a place for me there.

PO: He is a liar. You can't prostitute your way to heaven! Please follow me to the police car, maam.

GW: No! No! I still wanna go to heaven! *starts sobbing*

PO: *losing patience* Fine! You need to go downstairs with me now. Messengers of God are waiting there.

GW: *beaming* OK!

What's In A Name?

2003-12-21T11:29:00.000+08:00

After screaming my lungs out at the bank moron named Jason recently for screwing up my stuff, I was none too estatic when introduced to a new colleague who's name is also, you guess it, Jason. Not 5 minutes after he walked off that a supplier dropped by in the office and his name is also Jason. What's the matter with you people?! Can't you be more creative? Take a cue from the Red Indians.

My hatred for Jason Number 1 prompted me to think what made him choose that name in the first place. You see, he wasnt born as a Jason. His birth-given name was probably something like Siah Chun Choi or something equally dumb. Malaysians, particularly the Chinese have a fondness for giving themselves English names to add on to their existing ones. Supposedly to aid people in recalling their names. Yea right. When people are rattling off names like Samwise Gamgee, Arwen Undomiel and Aragorn like they're their next-of-kin, I seriously doubt that. Why not just name your kids after them? Fill the kindergarten playgrounds with the twins Lee Gim Lee and Lee Goh Las, their cousin Urukhai Wong and their neighbours Saruman Mohd Sauron and Smeagol a/l Balrog.

I ran into this guy whom I used to know to be Michael but lo and behold, it is Valen Lee now as printed on his name card. A little baffling explanation later and it turned out that he thinks Michael is too common and chanced upon the name Valentino. Alas, Valentino is a bit too long so he shorterned it to Valen. Last I heard, Michael or Valen (or maybe Don Juan by now) is being sort after by certain people for being the last man this side of Earth who still has "Tung Chee Niu" (virgin boy's urine).

So excuse me while I go headbutt my colleague who happens to go by the name Handsome.