Tobasco Anyone?

If you are like me, there must have been times when you are freaking hungry but was stuck in a massive jam after work when you wished you can have food delivered right up to your car window instead of inching your way back home or to a nearby restaurant. Well, I do the next best thing and I usually order pizza when I am about 15 minutes away from home so that I can have hot pizza waiting for me the moment I reach home. No hassle of having to find a parking space and I can change into casual T-shirt and shorts to enjoy my dinner in front of the TV like any other dysfunctional families do. So, I took it upon myself to write a review of the 3 pizza delivery services I had used lately.

No. 1: Domino's Pizza

This is the pizza delivery service that is in my speed dial list. Service is good and prompt. I often get free stuff like a Banana Kaya Pie/Bread Stix or RM3 regular pizza SMS offer for being a regular customer. It's not much but it does keep me happy to know that I am appreciated as a regular customer. So far, pizzas usually arrive within 15-30 minutes. If they are so much as late by 1 minute then I get a free regular pizza voucher to be used in my next order. I like their Crunchy Thin Crust pizza as it does not make me overly stuff unlike some other types of crust. No hassle service gets my vote.

No. 2: Yellow Cab Pizza Co

Well, this chain only has like a few outlets in Malaysia and mostly in the Klang Valley only. I heard rave reviews from friends about how good their pizza and pasta are so I ordered from them during a recent training session I had with my users. I placed the order at around 12.30pm and they told me that it takes about 45-1 hour for them to deliver as they were short on staff and it was raining. I said OK as some of my users had stepped out for prayers and will not be back so soon.

By 1.45pm when there was still no delivery I was losing my patience so I called them and they said that on that particular Friday, their riders did not come to work so they had the kitchen staff doing the delivery and that they were already on their way. My office is barely 10 minutes away from their shop. By 2.15pm I got a call and went downstairs to the lobby to bring the delivery guy up to my training room. Unfortunately, he apologetically told me that the pizzas were meant for another customer as he was given the wrong package to deliver. He told me that another kitchen staff was on his way with the correct pizzas for me which did not arrive till 2.30pm.

By this time I was already pissed off and called to complain. All their 'Sorry ma'am' did not help the situation at all. I was hungry, my users were hungry. Not good. By the time we finally get to sink out teeth into the pizza it was already 2.40pm. The service sucks big time and the only saving grace was that the pizza and pasta were actually good. I highly recommend the Charlie Chan Chicken Pasta. I'd say if you want to order from them then make sure your stomach is not already growling from hunger and if your patience and tolerance level is high. Well, that person is usually not me and I've thrown away the free voucher they gave me for delivering my pizzas after 2 and 1/4 hours.

No. 3: Pizza Hut

Now, this pizza delivery service needs no introduction here in Malaysia. Many of us probably grew up listening to the annoyingly catchy 755-25-25 song on the TV while we're growing up. Surprisingly, I never ordered from their pizza delivery service before till even the infamous number had changed now. One fine afternoon, my Mom suggested to try Pizza Hut as we usually orders from Domino's so I did. They took  more than 30 minutes to arrive and gave me an envelope which the delivery guy told me was a free regular pizza voucher. I just accepted it without looking.

Few weeks later, I decided to use the voucher but the person on the phone told me that the delivery guy had given me the wrong voucher as my voucher is only valid for take-aways. By right, he should have given me a voucher that can be used when I order delivery service again. So, after checking with her supervisor she called me back to say I can still use the voucher for delivery as it was their fault to have given me the wrong voucher in the first place. 

I ordered 2 regular pizzas, 1 being a free pizza when I use the voucher. Surprisingly this time, the delivery guy appeared in front of my gates in about 15 minutes. However, there was only 1 pizza. Some frantic calls by the guy and off he went to get the other pizza claiming that they had packed the delivery for him wrongly. About half an hour later, he reappeared with the missing pizza but I was suspicious and opened the pizza box in front of him to make sure my pizza was there.

What do you know? There was a pizza but the flavour was the same as the one we had already devoured. More frantic calls ensued and him blaming some other people back at the shop and he said he will be back again with the correct pizza. I called the hotline to complain and I basically told them I would NEVER order from their delivery service again. A lot of lame ass apology and excuses were thrown forward to no avail. I was furious! The 2nd pizza with the correct flavour only arrived like an hour AFTER we had already finished eating the first pizza.

Not only that, we get extremely poor service when we visit their outlet last time, especially the one at KLCC. Then there was the time I was working late one night when our manager told us that she had ordered pizza for us about half an hour ago through their online website but the delivery guy had not appeared. A quick check revealed that the order she placed was not captured. My manager said usually when she orders online it is OK but on that night we were just too tired and hungry to wait. So, after considering all aspects of their service, my verdict are as below.

I have yet to try Papa John's and Canadian Pizza's delivery service. Hopefully they fare better than Pizza Hut.

Goodbye Baby

It's the wee hours of the morning and I can't sleep. It has been like that for the past one month and more. Tears are streaming down my face as I write this. You see, I gave birth to a stillborn about a month ago. Doctor discovered my baby's heart stopped beating during a regular checkup just about a week before she was due. People always say there is a calm before the storm and how true it is. I was so very happy being pregnant. I was so pleased at the thought of becoming a mom for the first time that I was always smiling and laughing. My family was finally going to be complete with the addition of a little bundle of joy plus I knew just how much my parents wanted grandchildren to play with.

I didn't have much complications with my pregnancy to begin with and everything was progressing so great. Hubby and I went for a vacation in Macau and Hong Kong in the 3rd month. I started a new job in the 4th month and by the 6th month, Hubby and Dad had painted the furniture and we had the nursery set up. I was very energetic and active all the way till the end. We were even entertaining friends from overseas in our house just the week before it happened. I had an overnight bag packed by the door ready to be snatched up the moment contraction starts. How could things go so wrong?

I remember every little detail of the unfortunate day even though I'd rather not. I remember waking up and having breakfast while chatting happily with my parents who just got back from attending my cousin's wedding in our hometown and remarking what great timing the birth will be as my Godmother from Australia will get to meet the baby while she's back in Malaysia. I remember the drive to the hospital. I remember the doctor asking me how's things to which I reply 'Everything's normal'. I had a funny feeling as I uttered the word 'Normal' that morning for no reason at all.

Little did I know then that nothing was ever going to be normal again. I knew something was wrong when the doctor took just a few minutes longer with the scan. When he told me he couldn't find the baby's heartbeat I didn't believe him. How could it be? Perhaps the machine wasn't working as I felt my baby move just the night before. I was eerily calm in the few minutes after that. We explored the possibilities of errors, of what to do next, etc and when I was finally convinced that nothing can be done to save my baby I walked out with hubby and sat dazed outside the doctor's office.

I remember the dread I felt at the thought of having to impart such bad news to my parents. I remember calling my boss and apologizing for having to start my maternity leave earlier than expected and feeling sorry for my colleagues as I had not pass over my work completely. I sent hubby home to get my overnight bag and then I just lay in the delivery room waiting for the inevitable as doctor started inducing labor. I  informed my closest friends that I was in the hospital saying something was wrong with the baby and not that we had already lost the baby. Somehow putting something into words makes it all seem so final so I clung to the slightest flicker of hope that my baby could still be saved. At one point when I was alone, I thought I felt a movement in my tummy but it was just my mind playing tricks on me. It could be my stomach growling due to hunger for all I know but I prayed for a miracle anyway.

When my baby was born, the delivery room was filled with a sweet scent that smelled oh-so-good but I couldn't bare to look at her as she was already turning blue. When they put her on top of me it was all I could do not to flinch as she was so cold. It was the single most heart wrenching moment in my life. I've never felt so much pain and grief. I wanted so much to hold my baby and love her but instead I just lie there literally shivering from head to toe while listening to the doctors and nurses as they explained to my hubby that there were 2 true knots on the umbilical cord which was longer than usual.

I heard nurses exclaimed at how chubby my baby girl was when she tipped the scale at 3.55 kg and still I couldn't bare to look. Then, just moments before the nurse wrapped her up I told hubby I wanted to take one last good look at our baby girl. Looking back, I'm not sure this is wise as every time I close my eyes now I see my baby but I couldn't resist it. So the nurse held her in front of me as I take in all her features. She was adorable. I gently touched her soft cheek and whispered to her that mommy loves her, always and then she was gone, forever. Just like that and I vomited and vomited till I had nothing left in me. I touched my deflated tummy and I felt empty.

Family and friends came and went. When the nurses turned off the lights for the night, hubby and I were alone at last but I couldn't sleep even as hubby hugged and soothed me in bed. All the What-Ifs questions started growing in my mind like cancer even though everyone assured me it was purely an accident and nothing I could do could have prevented it. Up till then tears had flowed but sometime in the middle of that awful night I just couldn't restraint myself any longer and I wailed with the anguish all parents must feel if they ever lose a child. Nurses gave me a sleeping pill and I cried myself to sleep.

People tell me that I shouldn't cry so much as I'll ruin my eyesight, that I'm still young and I can get pregnant again easily, etc and I tried. I tried not crying but every little thing reminds me of my baby. For weeks I couldn't even walk past the nursery or talk on the phone without tearing up. I was never one to cry much before but now I'm just one big sad story that cries a few times a day at the slightest provocation. I've not been out of the house since it happened and I couldn't bring myself to join friends in social events. I have trouble falling asleep and when I finally do, either I do not want to wake up or I wake up screaming from nightmares. I tell people I'm fine, that I'm better as each day passes by but there's also nights like this when I felt that I've made no progress at all. It seems that for every 2 steps I take forward I'd take one step back every time I cry.

When would the tears finally dry up and when would the horror movie that has been playing endlessly in my head every time I close my eyes finally finish its run? It's almost dawn now.  May Father Time be kind and help lessen the pain. Each new day brings with it new hope and it is to this hope that I cling to and I pray and I pray.

!$%@$#%$@!

It's bright daylight and you can literally cook an egg on the street outside if you so desire but I'm sitting here with the hairs on my arms standing on ends and shivering. Reason being the perpetual middle-aged uber-bitch is speaking very loudly into the phone with her fake 'ang moh' slang. For someone who's usually so 'pasar', this is really unbearable.

Luckily for Green Day to head bang to even though the sounds of my favourite band isn't enough to drown out the hysterical laugher emanating from the same two-faced whore. How a person of such lowlife personality and integrity is still allowed to pollute the Earth with all her bullshit is totally beyond my comprehension.

She's lucky to have live in the 21st century else I swear to God that I would have given her a 'beautiful death' Spartan-style a long time ago. I would then make sure her decapitated head is hung like a reindeer head in my hall for decoration and her skin stretched out near the fireplace for all to wipe their feet on. No wait, I really can't stand that face. I guess I'll just feed her to the pigs.

Anyway, violent wet dreams of mine aside, she recently brought in a young toy boy of hers to join us. Ugly, pouting, good-for-nothing ass wipe. Makes me puke the way he 'polish' her. Fuckface has no shame. She in turn 'polishes' the other big kahunas. Ugh! Everyone I know wants to open a really big can of whoop-ass on him and the 'girlfriend'. My violent level is really hitting an all-time high whenever they are in the vicinity.

God, help me please before I turn psycho. Amen!

A Management Story

I'm angry, really freaking pissed off here. Why? Let me tell you why! I'm just about to inherit ALL the work from yet another colleague who's leaving the company by middle of this month. This is the 3rd colleague whose work had been passed to me prior to them leaving the company! So in addition to my own work, I will be doing the work of 4 persons soon with the puny salary of 1!!!

One of them is even a holding a manager level position while I'm just a lowly-paid minion but I get to inherit his work as well. Great! I can't even take half a day off without my office mailbox exploding. What the hell is wrong with you people! I'd tell you what's wrong. It's the stupid management I'm working for. Actually it's just one person, someone who shall here forth be known only as Fugly.

I've introduced Fugly without a name previously in the posting "Lord, help me please!" and more recently in "http://schweeney.blogspot.com/2007/03/blog-post.html". In case you are wondering, Fugly stands for Fucking Ugly. Now for the rest of you who also happens to have the misfortune of reporting to a person who is as full of shit as Fugly, I can only offer you this humourous piece of insight I received off the net. Read on and have a laugh. Stress kills, I know. How sad.

Story # 1

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"

Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"

Fox: "Hmm... But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more"

Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"

Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"

Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV“

Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene : Inside the lion's cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

Moral : IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson

In the context of the working world

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Story # 2

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

Fox: "That's ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!"

Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."

Bear: "Well that's absurd ! "

Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

Scene : As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

Moral : IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.

Management Lesson
In the context of the working world:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT.

Introducing Fugly's Namesake

When was the last time you saw something that looked like someone you absolutely despise? Maybe from the toad at Feng Shui World that bears an uncanny resemblance to a nosy neighbor or how your boss looks more and more like a camel everytime you roll your eyes at yet another unoriginal shit to spew forth from the smelly little hole he calls a mouth. Well, as some of my colleagues were asked to change cubicles sometime last month, we found this freaking ugly ball of rubber. It looked kinda slimy and was dirty from all the dust clinging on its rubbery body. Then someone had the bright idea to throw it on the wall and lo and behold, it actually had the ability to stick to the walls! This gross lil piggy ball actually found its niche. It's a good stress reliever of sorts. Till today we dunno who owns the blardy thing but we have been having fun abusing it. We have even christened it Fugly.

What do you have in your office?

Happy Birthday, Stranger

I have been to many birthday parties in my life but never have I been to one so ridiculous I thought my eyes were gonna fall off from their sockets from rolling them too much.

You see, yesterday afternoon, the maggot of a person whom I have always referred to as Fugly in my blog storms into our department and started hauling all the staff into the meeting room. Everyone was looking puzzled. Some thought there’s gonna be a meeting or a briefing. Yours truly was just on the way to the pantry to get a glass of water but was shepherded into the meeting room as well.

Imagine our surprise to find a cake on the long table and a stranger in our midst. Oh, we figured she was a staff as well but from another floor, another department. 90% of us didn’t have a clue who she is or what’s her name. Moments later, Fugly led the way as she made everyone sing the Birthday song. Mind you, we still dunno who the cake is for at that moment.

“Happy Birthday to you”
“Happy Birthday to you”
“Happy Birthday to .......“

At this point in time, the voices kinda faltered as we raised our eyebrows at each other. What a joke! Singing birthday song to someone we dun even know. I hope our clapping drowned out the blank in our singings. I heard some people blurted out the name but was too fast for me to catch it.

“Happy Birthday to you!!!”, we sang as we ended the song. Then as the haze of confusion was lifted from the room, What’s-Her-Name in out midst went forward and blow out the candle. She was smiling and thanking us. Then as usual, annoying Fugly was laughing her fake irritating laugh as she made one of us cut the cake for the birthday girl or middle-aged aunty if you want to get down to specifics. I still couldn’t get over the absurdity of the situation as I grudgingly ate the piece of cake that was handed to me. The birthday aunty didn’t appear to migle with any of us except Fugly, who is another middle-aged aunty herself (only a lot uglier) so I assumed Fugly must have set this all up by herself. No, they are not relations.

Now, I don’t understand why anyone would ever want to celebrate their birthday with a bunch of strangers. Even if I did, I don’t think my face is that thick to even go near the cake. Everyone was complaining once the party was over. We had to give credit to Fugly, she had surpassed herself again in terms of how much more she can do to make us hate her.

Luckily she didn’t make us chip in for the cake else she would have really overdone it.

Colleague from Hell

Example 1

Scene : Inside the car on the way to the doctor as I was having gastric pain halfway through work
Present : Me and hubby

Handphone rings and a familiar, groan-inducing, eye-rolling number flashed on the screen.

Me : (grimacing with pain and sounding weak) Hello.

Wanker : We need to talk about ABC. I need a timeline.

Me : As you already know (through numerous emails), the project had been handed to XYZ, please liaise with him.

Wanker : I really need to know when the project can be completed.

Me : Look I really can't give you the timeline for someone else's project. Besides I am on MC today. Can you please call XYZ?

Wanker : Can you just give me a date.

Me : You really have to speak to the person in charge for this.

Wanker : How about a tentative date?

Repeat above conversation x 10 times over the next 10 minutes with a good deal of eye-rolling.

Wanker just can’t seem to understand English.


Example 2

Scene : Meeting Room
Present : All members from my section

Suddenly, there was a knocking on the door and who else do you see but the most annoying, thick-faced, cant-take-no-for-an-answer colleague from hell from another division is standing outside the door and gesturing she wants a word with the Head of Department (HOD).

She opens the meeting room door uninvited and pops her head in. Wanker then proceeded to shine forth her best smile as she knows HOD likes her. Important note : HOD is also a woman but that's another story.

Wanker : Hi HOD, can I have a word with you?

HOD : (Trying to look fierce and irritated) Yes, but we're having a meeting right now.

Wanker : (not defeated so easily) Then can I meet you after the meeting?

HOD : I have another meeting after this.

Wanker : Then can I meet you after your next meeting is over?

HOD : I dunno what time my meeting is going end.

Wanker : Nevermind, I wait for you. Please call me when the meeting is over?

HOD : (is actually annoyed at this point) If I remember...

Wanker : Nevermind, I will call you then.

Wanker hesitated a moment but leaves the room anyway. Everyone was still quiet as we watch her go and HOD commented at how rude she was to interrupt our meeting.

Now the person from both examples is the same person actually. There were more but I just give the more recent examples. I cringe at the sight of her. I actually feel my blood pressure rising the moment I hear her voice. She is someone who calls you and asks “Have you read my email?” when she had just sent them out a nanosecond ago and gives you 20 missed calls if you don’t pick up her calls because either you are in a meeting or at home sick or God forbid dead. She would actually tailed you around if she gets the brushed off.

I don’t get it. Why does someone behaves this way? Doesn’t she know common courtesy? I get it that she wants to get things done but going around pissing everyone off is surely not the way to work in the long run. Jeopardizing her relationships with her colleagues will only slow her down as no one wants to support a nightmare case like her. I say all the nagging mothers, whiny children, pesky salespersons and insurance agents combine still lose out to her. Bravo, psycho!