Porridge Guy

Now this posting is purely to update those of you have been unfortunate enough to be fascinated with freaky Date No. 1 after reading my Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon posting a few months back.

Well, ever since the porridge stint, I haven't heard or seen Mr. Porridge Guy except for the occasional SMS. I've noticed that he always SMS me on the weekends. He's partial to Saturday/Sunday morning SMSs. A typical SMS goes like this, "The weather is hot, drink more water" or "Drink more water, the weather is hot" or some variations to that effect. So duh!!

If it's not about the weather or water, then it'll be some corny forwarded SMS with the typical ASCII bear which I promptly delete upon receival. Wasting space on my inbox really. The guy's SO creative, SO original! NOT! Someone need to learn that he's not going to get a girl from weather+water SMSs and forwarded SMSs which countless others have received before. I'm not easy to impress.

Recently he SMS-ed telling me he just got back from a business trip in Hong Kong (which I doubt) and that he wants to meet me to give me a Christmas present which he bought there. Not interested!! I was paranoid for a while. Worried that he might show up outside my bedroom window again at night with Christmas present in one hand and heaven forbids, porridge in the other.

He still claims eternal love and profess everlasting adoration for yours truly even after 3 long, unsuccessful years. Not a quitter this one. A few days ago, I discovered that someone had been cutting little pieces out of my new Hush Puppies cotton panties from the clothing line again (click here for related story). Hmm, could it be the whack job at work?

Hypocrites Are Abound

Take a good look at the mug shots of the four old schmucks standing next to a big mock cheque donating money to the recent tsunami victims below taken from a local newspaper on Wednesday, 29th December, 2004. Now, what exactly that you find disturbing about that picture? Nothing you say? Nice suits... nice ties... they are doing their bit in society by donating money to help the tsunami victims... don't look too pervy. Eckkk, wrong. All wrong. They look like Star Trek ambassadors-wannabes with the 'visors' on? Haha, close but eckkk, you missed again.

"Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"

Did you not see the huge smirks on their faces???! I flipped the papers and see many other similar pictures. Company directors, managing directors, CEOs, chairmans, etc presenting big mock cheques to charity organisations while sporting the same stupid grins. Talk about being unappropriate and why the fuck would you need to present your donation in such a fashion other than to promote your company? Wipe those stupid grins out of your faces, you despicable pissheads! 140,000 people have perished as of today and you are so happy about it huh? "Deepest condolences and sympathies" my foot! Scumbags!

Likewise, I was watching the news report on the tsunami disaster on television the other day and it totally disgust me to see how some politicians were grinning from ear to ear as they slipped in some money into the donation box while posing for the cameras. A small polite smile might still be acceptable but grinning and laughing???! That's just totally unappropriate when so many people have died! Why don't you put up the 'V' sign while you are at it, dumbass?! I really wanna award them with two tight slaps! I hope people spit on their graves when they kick the bucket. Heck, throw a party at their expense!

Same goes for the countless companies who are using the gimmick of offering a 'portion' of their sales to the tsunami aid funds. If you qenuinely want to help, why not offer 'all' the proceeds from your sales? What's a little dip in profit to feed a hungry, homeless, orphan child? As for the dipshits who bought from these companies under the pretext of doing so for charity, why don't you skip buying the product altogether and donate all that money to charity instead? Do you really need that extra shirt, shoes, sofa, dildo?

I think all of them should be thrown into jail for not practising basic decency and made to share a bunk bed with a huge, dirty, unshaven gay cellmate with a pension for nipples-biting and balls-gnawing. See how they smile then.