Thursday, December 30, 2004

Tsunami Disaster

When I first heard the news about the tragedy on Monday morning, tears welled up in my eyes as what happened when I first heard the news of 911 on the radio in the year 2001. Over the next few days, my heart sank as the death toll rises. My holiday mood is dampened each time the figure climbs. The Grim Reaper has been keeping himself busy.

It is not suprising to hear people from all walks of life talking about it in office, restaurants, pubs, schools, cafes and what-have-yous. Therefore, when the topic came up during my lunch break today, I was seeing red when I heard this most insensitive comment on the matter from a numbskull, "People died. So what?". He isn't joking either.

My immediate reaction was to put down my chopsticks, give him the famous Scorpion death stare and as calmly as I can, said, "Well, that's easy for you to say!!! None of your loved ones are involved in the tragedy!!! If your family and friends are now dead or lying with some serious injuries in the hospital beds from the tsunami tragedy then you wouldn't be saying 'So what?' anymore!!!"

The air was still as I waited for a response. Silence. My boyfriend sensing the tension in the air rubbed my arm and tried to diffuse the situation with some kind words. Now what irks me about people like the useless sack of wine I call a colleague is that they simply shoots off without thinking. Their little, tiny, itsy-bitsy grey matter tells them that making such remarks makes them appear detached and cool about the whole situation. Well, I got news for you mister, it just slammed a big L on your forehead.

Same goes for the other puny-brained masses who blindly forward emails with pictures and video recordings of the tragedy. Instead of wasting bandwidth and time, why don't you maggots make good use of those fingers and clicked some money into the disaster funds set up all over the world now? For those of you in Malaysia, you can help through various means. Divert your attention here from the porn and stupid jokes in your inbox for a while to help when it really matters.

I know I've done my part. Have you?

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Weirdness is a Disease

Is it just me or is the world filled with weirdos lurking in every little nook and corner? To further prove my point that weirdness is very much alive and kicking this part of town, I've compile a little list of the strange encounters I've had lately.

Wednesday, 15th December 2004, 8:35pm
Sitting down and enjoying my dinner, a Chinese family with the mom and dad and their 4 little princesses was shown to the table next to mine. Imagine my suprise when one of the little girls propped down right next to me and and clinged on for dear life. Being in a good mood then, I patted her head and nodded and smiled to the embarassed parents. But then throughout the dinner, the little girl asked me stuff about my handbag, my cutleries, etc. She even tried pinching me a few times but was unsuccessful! The mom eventually had to switch places with her so that I can have my dinner in peace. Little Ms High-Strung found her next victim in the couple seated on her other side of the table. Well, at least it's not me anymore.

Saturday, 18th of December 2004, 5:50pm
Returning from the beach after a fun dip in the sea, I was trying to shower off the sand on my feet when horrors greeted me in the form of a Malay woman dressed in a 'baju kurung' under the said shower happily washing a pair of pink-colored underwear. Yucks yucks yucks!!! To top it off, several bystanders were grinning away upon seeing the disgusted look I had on my face. Ignorant sick village bastards!

Monday, 20th December 2004, 12:55pm
Going up the escalator in a hypermarket, I saw a Malay woman with a small kid up ahead of me. Suddenly she just threw down a pair of shoes to the floor below. However, she and the kid still had their shoes on. Strange, but true.

Tuesday, 21st December 2004, 1:20pm
Heard from my friends that an imbecilic couple whom I had the misfortune of knowing in the past are asking them to join in for a Japanase-style dinner for Christmas this year. One isn't going for he still wants his turkey while another just giggled herself silly. Now who died and made Santa a Jap? Rudolpo eato sushi???

So, question is, are you infected?

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Man Boobs and Protuding Nipples

In one of the Seinfeld episodes, The Doorman, George and Kramer were horrified to discover that George's father had man boobs :

GEORGE : My father opened his shirt...

JERRY: Yeah, and?

GEORGE: Tell him, Kramer.

KRAMER: He had breasts.

JERRY: What d'you mean, breasts?

GEORGE: Big breasts!

JERRY: So what? A lot of older men have that.

KRAMER: No, not these. These were real hooters.

GEORGE: I was throwing up all night. It was like my own personal Crying Game.

I didn't think much of it until a few weeks earlier, I saw a guy with not big jugs but extreme, protuding nipples! It was poking out shamelessly from his chest to his T-shirt and landed on my line of sight nearly blinding me. Holy cow! The two mini-towers must have been at approximately 1cm long each! Pornstars around the world are shamed by this discovery. Tsk tsk tsk.

His friends and him were seated right next to my table and he was parading his tits around the whole night. I checked the temperature and decided that it wasn't that cold in the deli that night to make them stand so upright. I bet one can even hang a picture frame on them, quite securely too I might add.

So perhaps Kramer's invention called 'The Bro' or 'The Manssiere' in the episode is mandatory for these men to keep their uhm, assets, safe from public viewing and help hapless souls like me and George keep their food down longer.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

The 'Old' Hello Kitty Invasion

Is pink the new black?

I was having lunch inside this restaurant when I caught sight of someone wearing a cheerful-bumble-gum-pink baby tee with bold "I LOVE PINK" letters in print. She was also wearing pink lipstick and carrying a bright pink bag with matching pink color shoes to boot. Now you'd be forgiven if you picture a sweet, albeit brainwashed-by-Mattel little girl but this Hello Kitty species was a middle-aged cat with a perpetual scowl in need of a tummy tuck.

Feeling nauseous, I left the restaurant not long after that for a bit of fresh air and stopped for a drink inside another eatery with my friends later that same day only to find another woman in pink. This lollipop was even wrapped in pink. She had a pink shawl around her pink dress in a shopping mall. Is pink prescribed for menopausal women or what?

I think pink is a sweet color on little girls and maybe even young women but grandmothers dressing up like Barbie dolls from their greying head of hairs to their wrinkly toes just won't do. It's scary shit. You girls need to learn not to shop where your grandchildren does. Pretty in pink only applies when you are still receiving Hello Kitty toys and not when you are giving them away.

Go home ladies, change your outfit before Kent sues you for aging his beloved Barbie.