Colleague from Hell

Example 1

Scene : Inside the car on the way to the doctor as I was having gastric pain halfway through work
Present : Me and hubby

Handphone rings and a familiar, groan-inducing, eye-rolling number flashed on the screen.

Me : (grimacing with pain and sounding weak) Hello.

Wanker : We need to talk about ABC. I need a timeline.

Me : As you already know (through numerous emails), the project had been handed to XYZ, please liaise with him.

Wanker : I really need to know when the project can be completed.

Me : Look I really can't give you the timeline for someone else's project. Besides I am on MC today. Can you please call XYZ?

Wanker : Can you just give me a date.

Me : You really have to speak to the person in charge for this.

Wanker : How about a tentative date?

Repeat above conversation x 10 times over the next 10 minutes with a good deal of eye-rolling.

Wanker just can’t seem to understand English.


Example 2

Scene : Meeting Room
Present : All members from my section

Suddenly, there was a knocking on the door and who else do you see but the most annoying, thick-faced, cant-take-no-for-an-answer colleague from hell from another division is standing outside the door and gesturing she wants a word with the Head of Department (HOD).

She opens the meeting room door uninvited and pops her head in. Wanker then proceeded to shine forth her best smile as she knows HOD likes her. Important note : HOD is also a woman but that's another story.

Wanker : Hi HOD, can I have a word with you?

HOD : (Trying to look fierce and irritated) Yes, but we're having a meeting right now.

Wanker : (not defeated so easily) Then can I meet you after the meeting?

HOD : I have another meeting after this.

Wanker : Then can I meet you after your next meeting is over?

HOD : I dunno what time my meeting is going end.

Wanker : Nevermind, I wait for you. Please call me when the meeting is over?

HOD : (is actually annoyed at this point) If I remember...

Wanker : Nevermind, I will call you then.

Wanker hesitated a moment but leaves the room anyway. Everyone was still quiet as we watch her go and HOD commented at how rude she was to interrupt our meeting.

Now the person from both examples is the same person actually. There were more but I just give the more recent examples. I cringe at the sight of her. I actually feel my blood pressure rising the moment I hear her voice. She is someone who calls you and asks “Have you read my email?” when she had just sent them out a nanosecond ago and gives you 20 missed calls if you don’t pick up her calls because either you are in a meeting or at home sick or God forbid dead. She would actually tailed you around if she gets the brushed off.

I don’t get it. Why does someone behaves this way? Doesn’t she know common courtesy? I get it that she wants to get things done but going around pissing everyone off is surely not the way to work in the long run. Jeopardizing her relationships with her colleagues will only slow her down as no one wants to support a nightmare case like her. I say all the nagging mothers, whiny children, pesky salespersons and insurance agents combine still lose out to her. Bravo, psycho!