Thursday, January 15, 2009

Feeling Jaded

With the New year and only a few more days before Chinese New Year, I am feeling really glad for a lot of things in my life now.

I’m glad my beloved grandmother is now staying with me so that I can take care of her.

I’m glad for my loving family and good friends.

I’m glad I’m finally recovering from the slipped disc I somehow got myself.

I’m glad I’ve been to the one place I’ve dreamt of going since I was child.

I’m glad that I got that long-awaited promotion.

I’m glad that I now have my own cozy home to go back to everyday.

And the list goes on…

So, why is it that I sometimes feel so jaded, even out-of-place? Ever since I went to Egypt and back, I have lost most interest in catching up on daily news. I cannot bear to watch the news or turn the pages to read about yet another death or suffering or petty issues. I used to find the current political changes in Malaysia riveting but now it’s just getting really old. Sickening even. I’d rather spend my time reading movie reviews. (The Star has some really funny reviewers by the way and they crack me up every time. Kudos to them.)

Anyhow, it is not just limited to the news. I find that I sometimes drift away when in conversation with certain people. There so many things I don’t give two hoots about or are just plain old boring to me. I find so many topics to be irrelevant somehow so much so it is getting really sickening if I had to endure yet another conversation about it. I just tune myself out to avoid from rolling my eyes or sniggering. Mostly I just stifle the yawns.

I was updating my address book the other day and I realized that I had accumulated a lot of contacts over the years. About 5% of whom I do not even remember anymore so I just delete them off. I think it’s the same with life. Over time, some things will stop being a great deal or like a pearl, they lost their luster. I find myself getting bored with things that used to be fun and I do not know why. Have I changed or has they stopped being fun? I have no idea.