6 Pussycat Dolls, 2 Moffats and 1 Serena C

The week before my Singapore trip, I was in Bangkok, The Land of Smiles. Literally went to hell to get my passport done in time so I was really happy when we finally touched down in Bangkok Airport (Immigration horror stories coming up soon). We were immediately whisked off to our hotel but the van driver got the hotel wrong as there are 2 Holiday Inns in Bangkok. Plopped down on the bed in my room as soon as I got to the right hotel in Silom and took a nice warm bubble bath. With map in hand, we took off to Siam Square and MPK using the Thai-equivalent of the LRT called the Skytrain. I found MPK to be a lot like Sg. Wang in Malaysia except that the stores there are concentrated with mobile phone sellers in one corner, goldsmiths in another and so forth.

From there, we took a tuk-tuk to the Ratchadamnoen Stadium intending to watch the famous Thai kickboxing called Muay Thai. The ride was an exhilarating one for me and scary for some with the F1 tuk-tuk driver zigzagging everywhere and even going up the other side of the road regardless of oncoming traffic. However, we were disappointed when we got there as the ringside tickets which was said to cost 1000 Baht in online and other tourist guides had escalated to 3000 Baht when we tried to make our purchase at the counter. One plan down the drain we then make our way back to the night market near Patpong. Not as huge as the night market would have been if we went to the Chatuchak Weekend Market.

There were loads of pubs featuring Thai Girl Shows or also known as Tiger Shows along the road. We went for one which costs us 300 Baht per person. No tigers, but I'm amazed at what some of these girls can do. I didn't know the female reproductive organ can smoke, blow darts/trumpets/whistle/candles/you-name-it, drink water, play ping pong, etc. For the innocent wide-eyes, I suggest you stay away as it can get pretty darn disgusting after a while. Especially when you start seeing a string of razors coming out one after another or a string or glow-in-the-dark stars.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?!"

Honestly, we got bored as the novelty wore off pretty quickly and were amusing ourselves watching the other patrons that came in. One Mat Salleh caught our attention. He was alone and was immediately swarmed with girls. It was pretty clear to us that his internal rating system of hot girls was not working properly. Bugger was happily hugging and kissing a few of them. Not long after that, we watched as one particular girl brought him to speak to an older man seated just near our table. We presumed he's the boss or pimp if you like. Lone Ranger handed him some cash and disappeared out the back door with the girl whom had changed into street clothes. One cheeky showgirl came up to us and shouted, "They're going to fuck!". Such honesty was embarassing, really.

Not 5 minutes later, the same couple walked back in. This time the guy looked upset. Went straight up to the boss and wild hand gestures punctuates every sentence he spoke which was out of earshot for us. The girl changed back into her bikini and took to the stage and poles again. After some discussion, the boss actually handed the white guy back some money. I didn't know that pimps practise a refund policy for unsatisfied customers!

The next day, we had a hearty brunch and walked a distance to the Oriental Hotel to take the Chao Phraya Express Boat. It was fun to have the sea breeze blowing the hair away from your face after the sweaty trek while the tour guide explained the various attractions we see along the river.

From left: Kimberley Wyatt, Jessica Sutta, Ashley Roberts, Nicole Scherzinger, Melody Thornton and Carmit Bachar

It poured cats and dogs as we tried to go to the Grand Palace later that day. We held umbrellas to keep from getting wet in our tuk-tuk and I was so relieved when we got to the palace. I figured there's finally some shelter from the rain. So there we were, with our jeans rolled up to our knees, boots and socks in our hands, we waded knee-high water to get to the ticket counter.

As I was in a sleeveless shirt, I had to buy a collared T-shirt to wear before I could get in. The umbrellas we're holding is pretty useless now as we're more or less all wet already. I turned behind and looked at a stream of Caucasian and Japanese tourists in similar predicaments with us wading their way into the palace wearing raincoats and holding umbrellas, all eager to find shelter. Little did we all know that the palace has many open courtyards! What a laugh!

Still, we did not regret going to the Grand Palace as it is one of the most magnificent place I've ever seen. Truly beautiful. Truly befitting their beloved royal family. Such grandeur everywhere. Damn the rain! However all is forgiven as we rushed back to change into our clubbing attire for we were to attend the Pussycat Dolls' showcase at a club called Route 66 that same night. We ended up having delicious tomyam dinner opposite the club and we got to meet the sexy ladies themselves for a photo shoot! We got to party with Serena C from Hitz.FM and even spotted 2 of The Moffatts in the crowd!! What a night to remember!!!

From left: Serena C, Moffatt 1, one of our travelling mate and Moffatt 2 (I don't know The Moffatts' names)

We got back to the hotel and decided to go to the bar for a drink as it was our last night there and it proved to be a fine decision for we were treated to a great performance by the in-house quartet who performed energetically to the latest hits. What a memorable trip indeed. I haven't had enough of Thai food so I'm definitely going back for more in the near future.

Tom Yam, here I come! *slurp*