What the Hell?

So, today is supposed to be the end of times. The apocalypse. 666. The anti-Christ. Bla Bla bla. Yea, I kinda wish it was coming as then I won't have to sit here working my ass off. Alas, it isn't gonna happen that way as currently there's a 100,000-to-1 chance that we'll survive. Following that, I decided that the next best thing I can do now to cure me of my boredom is to share with you another sort of revelation that hit me while I was watching the American Idol finals the other day.

Now this is gonna blow your mind unlike any other. My fellow friends, behold the similarities below...

Check out those hairstyles dude! Prince and a Disney Gummi Bear sharing the exact same hairstyle! What are the odds of THAT?

PDRM and AAM Goes Hand-in-Hand in R-U-D-E-N-E-S-S

There's a joke going around among a group of my friends that my blog doesn't get updated if I don't get pissed off and so we all know where this post is going. I was happily chatting away with my colleague as we car-pooled together on the way home yesterday night and all of a sudden, the car started jerking just after we passed by UE3 on the way to Cheras. So, she slowly inched her way from the fast lane and the car died just as we reached the left lane.

With the emergency lights on, she quickly called AAM to get assistance. We didn't want to add to the jam more than we already did. While she was on the phone, a traffic police came along and we thought he would help to divert the traffic as the road was starting to get chocked up. Instead, Imbecile No. 1 strutted over and started scolding us. Hey look here moron, it's not our wish for the car to break down on a busy road! *rolling eyes*

Asswipe then rudely instructed my friend to shift the gear to neutral and for me to get down from the car. He just can't seemed to understand when we tried to explain that the car wasn't moving even though my friend had it in neutral as the engine had died and that I can't get out as the car had died while it was too near to a row of concrete slabs by the side of the road. "Turun! Turun! Turun! Neutral, letak neutral!" was all he was shouting. Didn't the PDRM check the guy's eyesight and hearing before allowing him on the streets as a representative of their traffic team?

After much scolding from him, a passerby-motorist stopped and helped him to push our car as I took over the AAM phone call from my friend as she had to man the steering wheels. The 2 guys pushed our car into the middle of the road, directly on the divider! The police-moron then proceeded to give us another round of scolding, "Tak tau turn ka?! Orang tolong awak, you duduk situ?!". He expects me to get down from the car as it was being pushed by him. Get down from a moving car into the oncoming traffic. He didn't even give me time to get out! Great! Grrr! He then just left us there without even asking if we need help.

Over the phone, I was being entertained by a very rude AAM customer service personnel, hereby referred to as Imbecile No. 2. She simply puts down the phone without warning after I give her all the details. How rude! When my friend's sister called back she had the cheek to say 'I already sent the tow-truck why you call again?!". Excuse me woman, you do work for AAM's Helpline don't you? We waited 45 minutes for the tow-truck guy to arrive and when he did, he too started scolding as to why we parked the car on the divider as it makes it hard for him to tow. Imbecile No. 3 then proceeded to ask us girls to push the car in our high heels and skirt!

Another traffic police came by after that and threatened to give us a summon as the tow-truck had stopped on the fast lane. Imbecile No. 4 stood there watching as we tried to push a Proton Wira. How helpful indeed! He only helped towards the last minute when he saw that there's no way we can get the car to move. After that he too dissapeared like the first traffic police.

The tow-truck guy then towed the car to a nearby petrol station and started complaining about how it's late and that it's after his working hours. "Saya dah nak balik dah, dah lewat ni. Saya tak boleh tunggu." As I know, AAM's coverage is 24 hours, you dipshit! I quickly called my friend to call AAM Helpline again and he then resentfully and relunctantly agreed to tow the car back to my friend's house after talking to the person on the phone.

There's gonna be hell to pay soon! We've made complains at the traffic police's and AAM's complaint center today. Let's wait for the party to begin.

Naked Truth or Blinding Balderdash?

Ever since my boyfriend popped "THE" question, we have been busying ourselves with the wedding plans. After the elders were properly informed, we had to choose the big date to walk down the aisle. I've never been the tradional or superstitious type but the elders insisted that we have our wedding date chosen by a fortune teller or someone like that. Images of a certain Feng Shui master and her toadly appearance immediately pop to mind and I shuddered.

So, one fine Saturday morning, we happily trotted off to see the 'Sifu'. I learnt that it had been hard to get the appointment that day as apparently, this is one very much sought-after man. The office was dark, air-conditioned and rather crammed. Not because the space is too small but because there was quite a queue while the phones were ringing off the hook! Whoever said you have to get a Degree to get a good paying job?

There were about 3-4 girls sitting at the reception area. I assumed they were his secretaries as they were the ones arranging the time for the meeting, getting the initial information about you, etc. Business was brisk all morning with all sorts of people seeking him for help on what to name their newborn babies, choosing the date for the grand opening of a new business, etc for a fee. Can't anyone decide anything on their own anymore? He ain't cheap too.

Anyway, we waited a while before being allowed to meet the guy. As it turns out, we didn't even get to meet him but only his son. Sonny spoke at bullet-train speed explaining to us something which I do not completely comprehend given my poor command of Chinese while gesturing at the Excel sheets that he had prepared. Wow, I didn't expect Junior to be so err, advanced.

Whatever happened to good old Chinese Ah Peks (old men in Hokkien) who sit under the tree and read your fortune while thoughtfully stroking his long beard? What's that you say? Who's facing extinction? No wonder Fat Blond Toad and her sorts are doing so well.

Top 10 Signs Your Boss is Out to Get You

10. It's 12.30pm and you were about to leave the office for lunch with a hot date when your Boss gives you a new assignment and and the deadline is 3pm. You missed lunch. And the hot date.

9. Boss suggests to go to a pricey, high-end restaurant for lunch and it is not a treat. Luckily you just visited the ATM.

8. It's Friday night and you are pulling in an overtime when the Boss gives you a bunch of new work that would take you days to finish and demands to have them in 3 hours. You worked through the night and came back on Saturday and stayed till 7pm. You missed Friday's dinner and Saturday's lunch. And you were sick with flu all the while.

7. Boss chides you for the smallest oversight on the morning of the first day of a major public holiday over the work done from the week before.

6. Boss displayed utter dislike and comtempt if you ever revealed that you hold your family dearer than work. You held your silence but secretly wished you were home now instead of slaving away like the lowly-paid and overworked minion that you are.

5. Boss made you sit through a meeting that lasted for 4 and 1/2 hours where no conclusion was derived but plenty of gossips and inane jokes that made you roll your eyes. You also missed dinner. And you suffer from gastric.

4. Boss then announced dislike and disrespect for people who waste time during meeting by doing nothing but dishing out plenty of gossips and inane jokes.

3. Boss said to do A and when you delivered the A, the boss turns around and barks at you for not delivering B. You get scolded again when you try to explain because the Boss is always right and you are always wrong, Wrong, WRONG!

2. Boss never talks to you unless to give you more work or to chide you more but she does talk bad about you behind your back. You spent your time trying to stay out of Boss's gossip radar.

1. Boss often "jeling" (look and quickly look away) at you in disgust. You grit your teeth.

DISCLAIMER: These are purely my opinions only and any resemblance to any Bosses living or dead is purely unintentional and coincidental.

p/s: On second thoughts, if you are anything like the Boss above then you ought to just go and hang yourself for being such a bastard/bitch that you are.

Humiliated in Sunway Pyramid Part II

Following the incident last Saturday where my fiancé and I were very rudely told to leave the Sunway Pyramid premises just because my fiancé had his arm over my shoulder, I've taken the liberty to create the below traffic sign for Sunway Pyramid. I wonder if they will implement it.

Humiliated in Sunway Pyramid

If you ever visit the Sunway Pyramid mall with your significant other then you HAVE to read this story.

Date : Saturday, 25th Feb 2006
Time : 9.10pm
Venue : Steel bench, outside TGV Sunway Pyramid

My fiancé and I had just finished dinner and was waiting for the movie 'The Pink Panther' to start at 9.25pm so he suggested we sit down and chat instead of aimlessly walking around. I thought it was a good idea to catch up since we had both been so busy with work the past few days. We found a seat nearby the cinema facing a Nokia phone shop. Having had a rough week at work, I was unloading on him and he in playing his part as a good partner was his offering support as he reached over and gave me a squeeze on my upper arm as he half hugged me with his right hand. Sometime passed before a guy suddenly, abruptly and rudely cut us off in the middle of our conversation.

We look up to find ourselves staring at a Malay guy in his mid-20s to early 30s. He was thin, with short-cropped hair and was wearing a striped Polo T-shirt and black slacks. In his right hand, he was holding an A4-size paper clipboard. I cannot remember what he said word for word a 100% but I was angry enough to remember the gist of it. He glared at us and hissed 'Tak boleh buat macam itu! Ini tempat public you tau tak?!'. Directly translated he said 'Cannot do like that! This is a public place you know or not?!'.

It took me a few seconds for the absurdity of the situation to sink in. I was like 'Excuse me?! WHAT did you say?!' and my fiancé was equally incredulous as he asked 'Tak boleh buat macam ini?!' (Translation: 'Cannot do like this?!'). The guy was looking at us with such contempt as if we were having sex right there on the bench for all the world to see as he responded with 'Saya dari Sekuriti; I boleh suruh you keluar dari sini! Jangan buat macam itu!' (Direct Translation: 'I'm from Security; I can ask you to leave this place! Don't do like that!')

I was beyond boiling temperature at this point when I countered back with 'Apa tak boleh buat macam itu? Sini banyak orang macam ini! You pergi beritahu mereka semua la!' (Direct Translation: 'What cannot do like that? Here lots of people do like this! You go tell them all la!') while gesturing at the other couples in the crowd. He seemed at a momentary loss for words and then he just walked off leaving us angry and dumbfounded.

What is wrong here? Was it a crime to have my fiancé having his hand around me or is it a backward mentality of this man, whoever he is? I have never felt this outraged before. I really felt like running after him and giving him a good scolding when he walked off. Luckily for him my movie was starting by then. It was a really funny comedy with many people in the audience clapping their hands over the jokes but I was still boiling inside to enjoy it fully.

I cannot believe that Sunway Pyramid hires this kind of person in their Security Department, that is if he is telling the truth about working there. I do not intend to visit Sunway Pyramid again if it means being humiliated in public by their staff over something as innocent as having my fiancé’s arm over my shoulder. The whole situation is totally ludicrous, totally ridiculous!

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who's the Corniest of Them All?

I dunno if it's fated or what but come every Chinese New Year, I will surely come across some stupid shows on TV that makes me wanna crawl in through the TV set and stick my foot up some arses but since I obviously can't, I'm compelled to blog about them. Last year it was the Alan Tam and Hacken Lee's concert. This year it is the Miss Chinese International 2006 Pageant.

I don't have any problems with the looks of the candidates as beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all and there are actually a few who would make my head turn a few times if I am a hot-blooded male. It was the pathetic performances they put on and the moronic answers they give during the Q&A session that really gets to me.

The performances were nothing to shout about as many were just flinging their arms about mindlessly under the pretext of some cultural dance that was just embarrassing to watch. It would have been less painful to watch paint dry. I also can't stand the stupid 'beauty pageant wave' they all gave. Whoever taught them to wave like that? Graceful my foot! It makes them look retarded, that's all.

Things gradually got worse during the Q&A session. They were supposed to pick out a Chinese food item at random and describe how the item is similar to them. There were items like 'pau' (bun), fried rice, etc. One particular contestant that nearly got me vomiting blood was the one who got the 'zhu sau' (literally means pig hand). In answering how it was similar to her, she said, 'Kei sat leh, chu hai hou chong meng geh'. Translated, she said, 'Actually leh, pigs are very smart geh'. What the fuck?! Since when have anyone heard that pigs are Harvard material? Apparently this broad has never heard of the expression 'Chun kor check chu' (Dumber than a pig)!

I don't remember which genius candidate that was but she certainly didn't win the title. Thank God! On a sadder note, I think I've just killed a few brain cells for having glimpse part of the show. What a load of crap TV is feeding us these days. Hmmphhh! Oh heck it, at least the Ang Pows I collected are in abundance this year. Hip hip hooray!!!

Gong Xi Fa Cai everyone!