Bad Ass Chick's A Series of Unfortunate Events

I was never a superstitious person so it seemed weird to friends when I started commenting that I am being haunted by bad lucks nowadays and to think that I was just thanking my lucky stars last month at how wonderful life had been to me lately. Christmas was approaching and everything just seemed so merry and bright. Songs and dances seemed to be the order of my days. Little did I know that it was the calm before the storm, the high before the low, the lift before the fall. Ok, so you get it the picture.

My high spirits all came crumbling down early this month when I discovered that a prized possession of mine was not worth what was paid for it. What a heart-wrenching, jaw-dropping moment that was. Never mind that, the very same night, I lost the final round of a contest which I was winning only the day before. I won a lousy T-shirt instead which was no consolation to the time and money already spent. So what if it's limited edition? Arghh!!! Two huge financial losses in a day.

A few days later, a visit to the doctor had me on medication for the next two weeks. Hopefully the nice lady doctor would tell me that I have no major health complications when I go back for a check-up next month. Still, I tried to put all negative thoughts aside to enjoy the Christmas parties I was attending. But even then, bad luck followed me wherever I went. The satays I brought was overcooked for one potluck Christmas party, rained the whole evening at another and luckily another one went by rather uneventfully.

I was trying to get tickets for King Kong and managed to actually get a booking, only to misplace the booking number. My new Sony Ericsson Z520I's camera and call-out system wasn't functioning on the very day I unwrapped the box. Two of my colleagues got the exact same phone from the exact same dealer and theirs are working fine. Good thing the SE people managed to get it fixed in like 3 hours.

My programs at work kept running into errors as the server was running out of space and I didn't get a new ID tag at work as the security team misplaced my photo when everyone else had gotten their new ID tags and so I had to sign in and out everyday, including lunch time. I have to call my other colleagues to open the door for me every time or slyly follow other people in when they do.

I was praying hard for the string of bad lucks to go away but apparently God must have had some other plans for me as I got into an accident on the way home from work 2 days ago. We were just 3 minutes away from home and a drunk driver come crashing into the side of our car as we were turning right into our housing area. The lights was green to turn right, you nincompoop!! And you have no business overtaking when it was a double-lined road and cutting in from the other side of the road too!!! The bugger dragged a motorcycle under his car for a short distance before hitting another car, both of whom were from the opposite side of the road waiting at the red lights as cars turned right from our direction.

That was the last straw! All these bad lucks in the space of 2 weeks?!! I’ve had enough! Seriously. Hope 2006 will be a better year for me. Since this will be my last posting for this year, I wish all the readers a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

P/s: If you see a girl walking with a black cloud over her head, stop and say 'Hi', it's probably me.

My Mobile Phone Ownership Evolution

Looking back over the years, I realized that I was not as lucky or as rich as some people who change their mobile phones like they change their clothes. Nonetheless, I realized that I have been using quite a number of them and about to change to a new generation of phone soon.

I remember my first mobile phone purchase vividly. I was a student then, saving and skimming on expenses to buy my first Nokia 3210. I love it back then because it was one of the first few phones in the market that did not have an antenna jutting out. Also, it was rock solid. I've dropped the phone so many times from varying heights and still it was working perfectly. I remembered how I broke out in cold sweat once upon realizing that I've lost my phone. I searched high and low for it and was lucky enough to find it in the safe keeping of the librarian of the college library. Phew!

The Nokia 3210 served me well for a couple of years until I got hold of a Nokia 8210. The phone had been modified with white back lights + white casing and was SO blindingly bright that I occasionally use it as a torchlight! Hehe. Unfortunately, my 8210 was bugged with problems and I eventually got fed-up with it after too many visits to the repair shop that I trade it in for a Samsung SGH C100 not long after.

I loved the C100 for the nice colour screen and animations. Such a big difference from the dull black and white screens I had been used to seeing but then it was lacking a camera. The phone was fine except that you can't turn it off and on again. It'll definitely hang. You'll have to on and off it many many times before it will start up properly. My phone is on 24-7 but then it can get pretty frustating when sometimes you need to change the SIM card for example.

I used it for a while before I got the Sony Ericsson T630. I wanted the black-colored one but ended up with the white as black was out of stock then. Now this one has a camera, bluetooth and infrared and served me really well for the past year or so. Was pretty happy with it for a while but this too is lacking something - MP3. I guess human beings are just never satisfied, or maybe it's just me.

So yesterday, I got a Sony Ericsson Z520i. I simply love flip phones!!! So nice to just slam down the phone when I'm pissed off with the other party on the line. Somehow, pressing a button to end the call just don't do it for me. Not as dramatic. Hah! However, being the generous and filial daughter that I am (*ahem*), I am going to give this phone to my dad.

Now, I'm spoilt for choice as to what mobile phone to get next. I've never owned a really high-end mobile phone before but I figured I might as well this time around. As such, I have set my sights on 3G Smart/PDA phones. There's the Sony Ericsson P990i which I simply adore. Don't see what I can do with such a small keyboard but it's a nice touch. The Motorola A1000 is also very attractive, as are the Dopod and O2 phones. Choices, choices, choices!

Poll Question: What phone should the Bad Ass Chick get next? Vote now!

6 Pussycat Dolls, 2 Moffats and 1 Serena C

The week before my Singapore trip, I was in Bangkok, The Land of Smiles. Literally went to hell to get my passport done in time so I was really happy when we finally touched down in Bangkok Airport (Immigration horror stories coming up soon). We were immediately whisked off to our hotel but the van driver got the hotel wrong as there are 2 Holiday Inns in Bangkok. Plopped down on the bed in my room as soon as I got to the right hotel in Silom and took a nice warm bubble bath. With map in hand, we took off to Siam Square and MPK using the Thai-equivalent of the LRT called the Skytrain. I found MPK to be a lot like Sg. Wang in Malaysia except that the stores there are concentrated with mobile phone sellers in one corner, goldsmiths in another and so forth.

From there, we took a tuk-tuk to the Ratchadamnoen Stadium intending to watch the famous Thai kickboxing called Muay Thai. The ride was an exhilarating one for me and scary for some with the F1 tuk-tuk driver zigzagging everywhere and even going up the other side of the road regardless of oncoming traffic. However, we were disappointed when we got there as the ringside tickets which was said to cost 1000 Baht in online and other tourist guides had escalated to 3000 Baht when we tried to make our purchase at the counter. One plan down the drain we then make our way back to the night market near Patpong. Not as huge as the night market would have been if we went to the Chatuchak Weekend Market.

There were loads of pubs featuring Thai Girl Shows or also known as Tiger Shows along the road. We went for one which costs us 300 Baht per person. No tigers, but I'm amazed at what some of these girls can do. I didn't know the female reproductive organ can smoke, blow darts/trumpets/whistle/candles/you-name-it, drink water, play ping pong, etc. For the innocent wide-eyes, I suggest you stay away as it can get pretty darn disgusting after a while. Especially when you start seeing a string of razors coming out one after another or a string or glow-in-the-dark stars.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?!"

Honestly, we got bored as the novelty wore off pretty quickly and were amusing ourselves watching the other patrons that came in. One Mat Salleh caught our attention. He was alone and was immediately swarmed with girls. It was pretty clear to us that his internal rating system of hot girls was not working properly. Bugger was happily hugging and kissing a few of them. Not long after that, we watched as one particular girl brought him to speak to an older man seated just near our table. We presumed he's the boss or pimp if you like. Lone Ranger handed him some cash and disappeared out the back door with the girl whom had changed into street clothes. One cheeky showgirl came up to us and shouted, "They're going to fuck!". Such honesty was embarassing, really.

Not 5 minutes later, the same couple walked back in. This time the guy looked upset. Went straight up to the boss and wild hand gestures punctuates every sentence he spoke which was out of earshot for us. The girl changed back into her bikini and took to the stage and poles again. After some discussion, the boss actually handed the white guy back some money. I didn't know that pimps practise a refund policy for unsatisfied customers!

The next day, we had a hearty brunch and walked a distance to the Oriental Hotel to take the Chao Phraya Express Boat. It was fun to have the sea breeze blowing the hair away from your face after the sweaty trek while the tour guide explained the various attractions we see along the river.

From left: Kimberley Wyatt, Jessica Sutta, Ashley Roberts, Nicole Scherzinger, Melody Thornton and Carmit Bachar

It poured cats and dogs as we tried to go to the Grand Palace later that day. We held umbrellas to keep from getting wet in our tuk-tuk and I was so relieved when we got to the palace. I figured there's finally some shelter from the rain. So there we were, with our jeans rolled up to our knees, boots and socks in our hands, we waded knee-high water to get to the ticket counter.

As I was in a sleeveless shirt, I had to buy a collared T-shirt to wear before I could get in. The umbrellas we're holding is pretty useless now as we're more or less all wet already. I turned behind and looked at a stream of Caucasian and Japanese tourists in similar predicaments with us wading their way into the palace wearing raincoats and holding umbrellas, all eager to find shelter. Little did we all know that the palace has many open courtyards! What a laugh!

Still, we did not regret going to the Grand Palace as it is one of the most magnificent place I've ever seen. Truly beautiful. Truly befitting their beloved royal family. Such grandeur everywhere. Damn the rain! However all is forgiven as we rushed back to change into our clubbing attire for we were to attend the Pussycat Dolls' showcase at a club called Route 66 that same night. We ended up having delicious tomyam dinner opposite the club and we got to meet the sexy ladies themselves for a photo shoot! We got to party with Serena C from Hitz.FM and even spotted 2 of The Moffatts in the crowd!! What a night to remember!!!

From left: Serena C, Moffatt 1, one of our travelling mate and Moffatt 2 (I don't know The Moffatts' names)

We got back to the hotel and decided to go to the bar for a drink as it was our last night there and it proved to be a fine decision for we were treated to a great performance by the in-house quartet who performed energetically to the latest hits. What a memorable trip indeed. I haven't had enough of Thai food so I'm definitely going back for more in the near future.

Tom Yam, here I come! *slurp*

Treasure Treasure, Where Art Thou?

I was in Singapore recently to join the Singapore's Half-A-Million Ringgit Race 3 which kicked off on 21 Nov 2005 with 4 other team members. We were all working late till like 10pm on the night before, rushed home to pack our bags and off we go around 3am on Saturday. Reached one of the rest stop near the Johor-Singapore border just in time for our breakfast and the entry riddle brought us to the Raffles Country Club not far from the Tuas Second Link for the registration process.

"A premier spot for a golfing game,

That proudly sports our founder’s name.

Neighbours, look for its location,

Near the second link between two nations."

Once registered, we were all so excited and just can't wait to claim our RM100,000 or so we thought. The first clue given read like this:

"Sitting along the quiet path,

This is hardly nature's wrath,

If you strain your sights hard enough,

You might glimpse a fruit that's just so tough."

The elusive fruit had all 5 of us racing to the Esplanade building by the Marina Bay which looked like a big durian. For those of you who don't know, durian is a tropical fruit with greenish, spiky outer shell and is known as the King of Fruits. A common saying is that the durian smells like hell but tastes like heaven. It was a sight to behold at how fast the 4 of us jumped out from the car with the thought of getting to that 2nd clue and raced toward the building as the driver went to park his car. We circled 'The Durian' to no avail. Not to be discouraged so fast, we searched every quiet path or walkway around the area. Nada! We searched inside the building too, up down, left right and center, you name it! Still zero! We took a break for lunch and back to the search again.

Searching for this elusive 2nd clue brought us to not just the Esplanade but we also ended up in the Marina City Park, Merlion Park, Clifford Pier, Boat Quay, Supreme Court and City Hall, Parliament House, St. Andrew's Cathedral, Raffle's Square, Asian Civilizations Museum, Fort Canning and everywhere else in between them on FOOT! Unfortunately for our aching feet, our search still ended up fruitless (pun intended). By nightfall, we were too tired and decided to rest for the night in our hotel at Orchard Road.

After a quick shower and scrumptious dinner, my gal pal and I were off to be dazzled by the bright lights of the shopping haven as the boys headed back to our room. We're fascinated with the cozy little pubs and quaint little cafes we found tucked in small alleys and old lanes. Even as we pose for pictures along Orchard Road, we didn't stop thinking and analyzing the clue. We found meaning even on the manhole covers we saw along the road which bear pictures of various kinds of fruit! As midnight approaches, we decided to retire to bed before we lose our sanity over the damn fruit.

The next day, with our spirits renewed and bodies healed, it's off once again for the hunt. Our search on the 2nd day brought us to Raffles Hotel, Eskibar, Sentosa Island, Haw Par Villa, Kent Ridge Park and we even paid a visit to Chijmes and Villa Bali in Gilman Village for good measure. 3 of us even climbed up to a God-forsaken watch tower all to no avail. Heads dizzying from the narrow spiral staircase we were climbing, 3 of us ended up laughing our arses off as we ascended the tower. I bet not many Singaporean had even stepped foot on this tower, let alone take in the magnificent view from atop. Below is a picture taken from inside the tower itself. You can see the big durian building in the distance.

Disheartened that we didn't even manage to find one clue, we headed back to the starting point for some answers towards the end of the 2nd day. To our disgust, the clue at the starting point had been changed to now hold a very important point and that is that the location of the 2nd clue is only open from 9am to 6pm! This vital piece of information was missing from the original clue posted up on the day of our registration. Tsk tsk tsk! Till today, we're waiting to find out where the clue we had been searching for is hidden.

Still, the 2 days had been great fun with great company. Not a total loss after all. *winks*

Don't Drive If You Are Blind AND Deaf!

It was early on a damp and cold morning when my boyfriend and I left the house to go to work last Thursday. Nearing a hump on the road just outside my house, a black-colored Proton Wira was stopped on top of it and we just assumed that the driver will ease over the hump in the next few seconds but as we drew nearer to the car, we realized in horror that the person at the wheel must be either sleeping or too dumb to handle a car as it was actually going backwards! We immediately sounded the honk but it fell on deaf ears as we soon heard a BANG! A nice day spoilt in that very instant! Note that we can't reverse either as there was another car following close behind us.

We stopped by the side of the road to check on the damages but the driver just proceeded to drive away as if nothing happened. We took note of the number plate. I can't see the driver though but I was quite sure I'd be able to find him or her as he or she must be someone living in the nearby apartment blocks or terrace houses. I swore to myself I'm gonna hunt him or her down if that's the last thing I'd do before I die. I just cannot let someone walk away like that from me after damaging my property and spoiling my nice morning drive. It's not about the money but my nerves need soothing. Even an apology would be nice but I needed someone to take accountability for the damages.

I couldn't believe just how easy it was to find the culprit as I spotted the black Proton Wira with the exact same number plate parked in front of a terrace house on my way home later that night. Judging from the decorations outside the house, the driver must have been an Indian. I knocked on the gate and an Indian guy came out wearing only shorts and looking bewildered. Without further ado, we asked if that is his car and when he said yes, we mentioned about the accident earlier that morning but he looked even more bewildered. Apparently, the wife is the one using the car to go to work every morning.

'Macha' trotted back inside and as we waited outside the gate, we can hear a husband who was surprised and feeling betrayed that his wife hid the accident from him and an angry and defensive wife who thought she don't have to pay when she damages other people's properties. When he finally came out from the house, he offered to pay RM50 for the very noticeable sratches to our much more expensive car's front bumper and then proceeded to very smugly ask us to report the accident to the police if we're not happy with the amount as we'd be in the wrong anyway. Said how he haven't gotten his salary for next month and how expenses are rising since it's near Deepavali, as if I would sympathise when his wife didn't even bother about MY property. Puh-lease! Only reconfirms my opinion that you're a loser, sucker!

As we bargain back and forth, the wife came out looking very much like the stupid broad that she is. She immediately when switched on her defensive mode again and very arrogantly declared that she didn't hit our car at all! The nerve. Luckily she was behind the gate else I would have gorged her eyes out! Grr!! I pointed out that she should have seen our car from the rearview mirror and hit the brakes when we honked and she replied saying she didn't hear any honking. Arrgghhhh!!! Voices started to be raised and it's apparently clear to me that she thinks she's not at fault at all for reversing into our car. Dumb bitch!

We decided to take the RM50 as arguing with these kinda morons isn't going anywhere and as no apologies were forth coming from both, I just had to rub it in a little before we left the house. I told her what a bad driver she is and how I would steer clear of the road whenever I see the same number plate again. Then I told her to look at the rearview mirror before she reverses and take note when people honks at her unless she's deaf. Oh boy, did she get upset or what! Her husband was hurrying to stuff her back into the house before it got ugly. I'm pleased now that she's pissed! Muahahaha!

Hamsap Old Fart

Many have been asking when I'm gonna update my blog after such a long absence. Then, there are also people who have been asking me for movie reviews before they book tickets to the cinema ever since I shredded 'Alexander' to pieces in an earlier posting. I'm flattered really but I just don't have much time nowadays to blog. Nonetheless, I shall keep my fans (and enemies alike) happy by churning out a post or two from time to time.

Recently, I have been having problems with my SmartTag as I haven't upgraded my Touch 'n Go card to the new one and as I made a stop at their office one fine morning on my way to work, I encountered a few middle-aged men facing similar predicaments. A few small talks were going around and I just smiled and politely nodded my head now and then while giving away some non-committal replies. I was asked to fill up my particulars before the change was made for my card and that's when I noticed that one particular 'uncle' next to me was peering very intently across the glass divider down to where our forms laid.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I just assumed that he was looking at his own form but I grew wary when I noticed that this particular old geezer is suddenly very friendly towards me. As his turn was right after me, I watched as he suddenly dashed out to his Toyota Camry and that's when the bitter truth hits me. I have no doubt in my mind then that he was going to get his business card, introduce himself to me and ask for my phone number. Don’t ask me how I know, I just did.

I turned back to the teller in horror and rushed her to process my form faster but it was too late. Old geezer was happily trotting back with his business card in hand as I was about to get in my car and stopped me. To make him disappear from my sight faster as I don't intend to date people who are old enough to be my dad, I gave him my phone number which I was going to discontinue soon as I was getting myself a new number.

Uncle seemed happy with and I quickly reversed my car and sped away. He SMS-ed me a few hours later which got no reply from me. This was 2 weeks ago and yesterday I checked my old number for messages, and lo and behold, there's an SMS from his so-called secretary using his number asking to fix an appointment with me. Hmmm, wonder what the fuck he's up to.

I just don't understand this, what's with older guys and younger girls? Why do older men see us as trophies to be dangling from their arms? I bet uncle has a family waiting back at home for him and probably a mistress or two as well and now he wants yet another younger model? Totally despicable!

Friendly or too friendly?

I have been working for about 1 month plus now in a new company. Gotten friendly with some fellas while a few wankers remained aloof even when I make the effort to be friends. However, last week I was flabbergasted when I checked my company's email inbox. Screaming out from the list was an email addressed to me by a new colleague I had barely spoken 10 words to. Just had a brief exchange of hellos, names and departments with him the week before. We're from different departments and located on different floors. The contents of the email goes like this (with names omitted to protect the innocent) :

This is the same nerdy guy who sheepishly slipped me his personal contact number a few days before or after the email. I don't remember which one now. Yo dude! What do you mean my head looked luminous?! Like I have a halo over it? What the hell is up with the Feng Shui thingy? And what's with the truth? What truth? Obviously I emailed back and demanded for a satisfactory explanation but he just lied saying he had forgotten why he wrote that in the first place. Yea right! Like how you forget to wash your hands for dinner after you've sticked it in your ass all day?

Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against being friendly. But being weird? That's another ball game altogether now. Get a life!

I'm NOT interested!!!

Don’t you just hate people who are insincere? We all would have been unfortunate enough at one point or another of our lives to have met people like that. These are the long-lost friends who do not invite you for their weddings but call you up for drinks or dinners out of the blue one day because they had just forayed into the insurance or direct-selling business and are out looking for preys.

I have totally zero respect for people like these scumbags of the universe. Not only are these disillusioned fools insincere in wanting to rekindle those freezing, ice-cold, finger-numbing friendships they have with us but they have a face with the thickness unequalled even by the LENGTH of the Great Wall of China. I can smell their insincerities a mile away and it stinks!

Now even though I fully understand that they are also just trying to eke out a living, I’m unlike some nicer folks who will willingly part with their money and time with enough sweet-talking and fake smiles invested by the Agents of Filth. Don’t ever expect me to be all nice to them and get myself yet another insurance or the miracle wok which can help me become a better cook or every Stepford wife’s secret wish of a super cleaning dish washing detergent or anything else from them as a matter of fact.

Last but not least, if I hadn’t bothered with how well you have been living your life for the past century, whatever possessed you to make you think that I will be interested to contribute even an ounce of energy towards making your current career any better? Please don’t give me all that bullshit about how your product is going to help me improve my life either. It would improve automatically if you would just get the hell out of it. Thank you very much.

Top 10 Signs Your Company Sucks

Top 10 signs you should be resigning from your current company:

10) Company only gives you a tight-ass 8 days of annual leave when the nationwide acceptable standard is at 14 days.

9) Official company emails or newsletters might come in Mandarin when the official language is English and the person-in-charge will tell you he’s "too busy" to translate or that his English is not good enough when you point out that there are other poor souls who do not understand Mandarin working in the same company.

8) You have to sit through a whole day training conducted in Mandarin when the facilitator clearly knows that several others in the training also do not comprehend.

7) You have to work every Saturday, not even alternate Saturday, when even government officers only work a 5-days work week now.

6) Manager sends email to call for a department meeting in half an hour’s time when he’s seated barely a few feet away from his staff.

5) Manager does not talk to you or any other of his female staff unless forced to.

4) Manager gives unintelligible answers when his staff asks him questions. Even vendors are dumbfounded by the lack of grammar or perhaps vocal chords.

3) Manager is such a cheapskate bastard that he pretends he’s invisible when it comes to paying time or that his wallet is filled with humongous rocks even when everyone have made it clear that everybody’s going Dutch on the meal.

2) Manager asks you to sign a contract which the management knows nothing about to bind you to the company for a whole year and you get to have your salaries DEDUCTED if you cannot complete a major company project in the time stipulated in the contract AND work LONGER hours EVERY FREAKING DAY except for Sundays (Remember that you already work till 1pm every Saturday).

1) Manager looks vague all the time but is actually a scheming-plotting-lying coward that cowers and pisses in his pants if he so much as having to face off with another more vocally-inclined manager from other departments, even if that manager is a teeny-weeny bit of a girl who’s no more than 4 feet tall.

Dating Life VS Working Life

If you peek close enough, working life actually has many similarities with dating life. Both starts out with you checking out the potentials. Some might make you pitch a tent in your pants while a fraction of others might be less appealing than watching a snail crawl. You go for the kill and if you are lucky, you get a respond. The first interview is very much like your first date. If your date likes you, you then get to have more dates with him or her till you are actually "hired" for the job.

You start both relationships with high hopes and expectations, full of dreams, dressing your best and putting your best foot forward. You get to know the rest in the family as time goes by and over time, you might slack a bit, put on some weight or you might not. Depends how much you like what you have gotten yourself into in the first place or how well the ship you hopped on turned out to be. Breakups and job-hopping goes hand-in-hand and they're so common nowadays.

If you stick around and as the days turn into months and months into years, you'll feel that all your efforts, blood, sweat and tears should be rewarded with something more. You began seeking for increments, bonuses and promotions, much like upgrading your status from boyfriend/girlfriend to fiance/fiancee to husband/wife. A promotion would mean taking more responsibilities and more people under your wings. For married couples, this would mean having babies or even pets if you are so inclined.

It doesn't end here though. As with every relationships, we need to continually improve ourselves to keep our job or we get the boot. So, the next time you are stucked in a dead-end job or depressing relationship but too confused or lame to take remedial actions, try looking at it from a different point of view. If your dirty, lowly-paid, toilet-cleaning, no-future job is your girlfriend, wouldn't you have not hesistated to dump her on the spot or if your abusive, whiny, cheapskate of a boyfriend is your job, wouldn't you have thrown in that resignation letter in his face and spit on him for good measure long ago?

OK, enough profound thoughts in a day for me. I can only go so long without dissing another poor soul. Kidding. You think about this though. Adios!

Bang! Bang! Still Nerdy!

Haven't had the time to blog lately since I just started a new job but last Saturday while wandering around inside the arcade centre of Sunway Pyramid which used to be Sega Universe with my boyfriend as we waited for the movie Batman Begins to start, I saw a guy that was just begging for some space in these pages. Ho ho ho, wish granted boy!

There he was, a nerdy looking Chinese bloke with dark-rimmed spectacles standing right smacked in the centre of the arcade shooting up the undeads. Now what strike me as odd is how he positioned himself while playing the simulation game. He was holding 2 guns, playing both the Player 1 and Player 2 and standing at least a feet away from the gun stand as if expecting the zombies to jump out from the screen and maul him anytime soon.

The next thing he did really made me laughed out loud. He suddenly crossed his hands at the wrist and starts shooting at the screen ala James Bond cum The Matrix. He then uncrosses them and continues shooting and then it happenned again. He tucked one gun under his armpit in rapid fire fashion and kept shooting with the other only to pull out the tucked gun again and shoots only to cross his hands at the wrists again all the while turning his head to the left and checking out some unknown imaginary bystanders.

This crossing-uncrossing-tucking-untucking gun slinging action cycle goes on for a good half an hour in the least and he was gaining a crowd of "fans", most of whom were standing around with bemused grins of their faces. Hard to find a guy who so unabashedly display his complete devotion to a game called The House of the Dead in front of a pool of complete strangers really. Damn entertaining I tell you.

Too bad my camera phone doesn't come with video recording functions.

Complain, If You Wanna Live Longer

Just this year alone, I must have filed at least half a dozen complaints against numerous organizations. I didn't want to but they were just begging for it. How can I refuse?

Case 1:
Went for lunch with my boyfriend at this restaurant and the service was painstakingly slow. It would have been more fun to watch paint dry! Requests went unfulfilled even after several reminders. Sent a complain letter to the owner of the restaurant to voice my dissatisfaction soon after.

Case 2:
Mom bought an air-conditioning unit with a price tag of RM1450 but was charged RM1486 when she paid using credit card. I raised the issues among some friends and majority said that the merchant had a right to do so. I wasn't satisfied as most people simply spew forth bullshit without knowing any better anyway. A call to the local authorities confirmed that charging a customer more than the stipulated price even when they pay using credit cards is an offence. I happily lodge a complaint against them right there and then. The merchant should be hearing from the government boys anyday now.

Case 3:
Stopped by a local branch of Bank Bumiputra Commerce to have my address changed and realized that I forgot to bring my account number along with me. The customer service desk was empty but there was 2 officers sitting nearby. I asked for the forms to fill to change my address and politely requested if one of them could help me check my account number from the customer service's terminal but they told me to take a number and queue up. Fine. After a few minutes of waiting I realized I was running late to get back to the office and walked over to one of the Malay lady officer still sitting there and asked if I can faxed the form over after I had the account number filled in. She had forgetten her own company's fax number it seems so I again politely requested her help in looking for it. Her exact reply was 'Aiyah no need to fax la... you bring over to the office lor...'. What she is really saying is, she's a lazy bitch who's too useless to even just help look for a fax number for a customer. A phone call to the complaint department later soothed my nerves.

Case 4:
My manager had the nerves to tell our Managing Director that 3 of his staff, including me, resigned in the space of less than one year because the project we are working on is a bit too tough to handle. The fuckface was implying that we can't handle our jobs which is a TOTAL LIE! I have since emailed my MD to set the record straight, thank you very much.

Case 5:
Placed a booking for an apartment in February with LBS Bina Group Berhad's sales office's agent and didn't hear from the agent again at all after that. He promised to arrange for the bank loan but he didn't. I had to call and arrange my own loan and by that time I got it done it was already April. The bank agent told me the lawyers would call regarding signing of the S&P documents within a maximum of 3 weeks. 3 weeks passed into May and after a lot of calls to the sales office, developer and lawyers and sifting through the bullshit of the agent, I found out that the agent had done zilch since my booking was placed. A storm brought upon the director of the developer company helped me recover my booking fees and I cancelled the sales with them even when the director cheesily offered a rebate of over RM2000 if I don't cancel the sale. What?!! RM2000 and you think you can buy me over? Yea right! You should go kill yourself for being so cheap! Anyhow, I've lodged a report on them with the local authorities. Go me!!!

Interviewee VS Interviewer

After my graduation I've been to my fair share of interviews. Some good, some bad while some are just downright weird.

Just like the time I spent 2 hours plus of my precious time listening to the director of this particular fucked-up company talk about his passion for flying helicopters. Bugger went on and on about how he doesn't drive when going outstation but instead will just fly here and there in his copter, showing me pictures of his kids, asking me my opinion after showing me brochures of the next helicopter he is planning to buy, etc. Like I'm SO impressed, DUH!

Then there are companies notorious for it's various tests. I've been asked to do tests which lasted 2 hours, programming tests, logic tests, numerical tests, IQ tests and every kinda tests imaginable. I mind that about as much as I mind filling up job application forms. Those are really time-wasters. I really do not see the point of telling you where I was born, you lousy piece of shit.

To be fair, I've met some really cool interviewers too. Some just waived away the need for the application forms and the need to see your certificates. One even bought me dinner while another bought me drinks over the interview process. Not that I am a freeloader, mind you. I didn't threaten to pull a 'bobbitt' job on them if they didn't do so either. Guess some people are simply nicer than others.

Boo! I see you!

You know how people always say that our dreams are sort of like an extension of our subconscious mind? Well, I dunno what's lurking in mine, but the other day, I dreamt that a female ghost was sleeping right next to me!

In the dream, I was sleeping as usual on my single bed in my bedroom when I suddenly woke up for no reason and turn to look to my left. Lo and behold! A stranger, whom my gut feeling tells me is undoubtedly and definitely a ghost, was inches away from me. *Gulp* She has shoulder length hair, dark complexion, around her early 30s, not bad looking too I might add (Hehe!) and was wearing a batik-print dress. She was sleeping on her right side and staring at me. Needless to say, I screamed but no voice came out.

Then the most amazing thing happenned. I raised a finger and poke her right at her shoulder blade! I didn't know I have the nerves to poke a ghost who has taken a liking to my bed before. Anyway, as if having a ghost for a bedmate wasn't scary enough, she actually smiled at me when I poked her! She gave me this devilish grin that tells me she's up to no good. *Faint* I opened my mouth to scream again and I then noticed that my mom was sleeping on my right side. This is physically impossible on my single bed and besides, I sleep alone in real life.

Nevermind that, I tried to wake my mom up but she was oblivious to my fate. Not giving up, I pulled her hand and made her touch the ghost stationed next to me and her hand went right through the blasted thing. At that point, all hell break loose as I was screaming so loudly I woke myself up.

What a dream! I'd never forget that smile!

Freeloader Superstar

I was watching Alan Tam's and Hacken Lee's concert on TV while waiting for my mom to get ready during the recent holiday. Duo was happily prancing around on stage and the mob crowd was flattening one another in an attempt to shake their hands. Actually more like slapping hands but who cares? It's a bacteria-infested-2-seconds touch from the stars after all.

Nothing very interesting and I was about to change the channel when I saw that not only are the crowd waving their hands in their feeble attempts to come in contact with the stars, they are frantically waving 'ang pows' (red packets with money giving out by the Chinese during the 15 days of Chinese New Year).

Hacken: "I'm not talking to a cheapo!"

I watched with amusement as these people eagerly offer the ang pows to the two in return for a brief contact. What a bunch of losers! Not only are they making the already rich duo richer from attending the not-so-cheap concert but they are giving them more money! What a life! It's good to be a superstar.

Of course, it's their money and some ang pows are probably empty or just filled with a piece of red paper for good luck for all we know but what disgust me is how Alam Tam went around collecting them with glee. He even had a huge slingbag like the ones favored by schoolgirls strapped across the shoulder! The guy has no shame! Hacken Lee was much better, at least he looked suitably grateful for the nice gestures from his fans and he didn't walk around singing with a huge pink slingbag with bling-bling.

What's with the big bag Alan? Shame on you!

Porridge Guy

Now this posting is purely to update those of you have been unfortunate enough to be fascinated with freaky Date No. 1 after reading my Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon posting a few months back.

Well, ever since the porridge stint, I haven't heard or seen Mr. Porridge Guy except for the occasional SMS. I've noticed that he always SMS me on the weekends. He's partial to Saturday/Sunday morning SMSs. A typical SMS goes like this, "The weather is hot, drink more water" or "Drink more water, the weather is hot" or some variations to that effect. So duh!!

If it's not about the weather or water, then it'll be some corny forwarded SMS with the typical ASCII bear which I promptly delete upon receival. Wasting space on my inbox really. The guy's SO creative, SO original! NOT! Someone need to learn that he's not going to get a girl from weather+water SMSs and forwarded SMSs which countless others have received before. I'm not easy to impress.

Recently he SMS-ed telling me he just got back from a business trip in Hong Kong (which I doubt) and that he wants to meet me to give me a Christmas present which he bought there. Not interested!! I was paranoid for a while. Worried that he might show up outside my bedroom window again at night with Christmas present in one hand and heaven forbids, porridge in the other.

He still claims eternal love and profess everlasting adoration for yours truly even after 3 long, unsuccessful years. Not a quitter this one. A few days ago, I discovered that someone had been cutting little pieces out of my new Hush Puppies cotton panties from the clothing line again (click here for related story). Hmm, could it be the whack job at work?

Hypocrites Are Abound

Take a good look at the mug shots of the four old schmucks standing next to a big mock cheque donating money to the recent tsunami victims below taken from a local newspaper on Wednesday, 29th December, 2004. Now, what exactly that you find disturbing about that picture? Nothing you say? Nice suits... nice ties... they are doing their bit in society by donating money to help the tsunami victims... don't look too pervy. Eckkk, wrong. All wrong. They look like Star Trek ambassadors-wannabes with the 'visors' on? Haha, close but eckkk, you missed again.

"Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"

Did you not see the huge smirks on their faces???! I flipped the papers and see many other similar pictures. Company directors, managing directors, CEOs, chairmans, etc presenting big mock cheques to charity organisations while sporting the same stupid grins. Talk about being unappropriate and why the fuck would you need to present your donation in such a fashion other than to promote your company? Wipe those stupid grins out of your faces, you despicable pissheads! 140,000 people have perished as of today and you are so happy about it huh? "Deepest condolences and sympathies" my foot! Scumbags!

Likewise, I was watching the news report on the tsunami disaster on television the other day and it totally disgust me to see how some politicians were grinning from ear to ear as they slipped in some money into the donation box while posing for the cameras. A small polite smile might still be acceptable but grinning and laughing???! That's just totally unappropriate when so many people have died! Why don't you put up the 'V' sign while you are at it, dumbass?! I really wanna award them with two tight slaps! I hope people spit on their graves when they kick the bucket. Heck, throw a party at their expense!

Same goes for the countless companies who are using the gimmick of offering a 'portion' of their sales to the tsunami aid funds. If you qenuinely want to help, why not offer 'all' the proceeds from your sales? What's a little dip in profit to feed a hungry, homeless, orphan child? As for the dipshits who bought from these companies under the pretext of doing so for charity, why don't you skip buying the product altogether and donate all that money to charity instead? Do you really need that extra shirt, shoes, sofa, dildo?

I think all of them should be thrown into jail for not practising basic decency and made to share a bunk bed with a huge, dirty, unshaven gay cellmate with a pension for nipples-biting and balls-gnawing. See how they smile then.